Fly Away
Crucifix Lyrics

Love herb, I don't want to fight it so I take that weed and I light it.
I choose to smoke weed and relax rather than fighting against it.

Ain't nothing in this world to make me want to stay.
I feel disconnected from this world and have no reason to stay.

I want to get high and Fly Away...
I want to escape my reality by getting high and leaving everything behind.

Lookin' back on my life I've come so far from the man that I was...
Reflecting on my past, I see how much I've grown and changed as a person.

A broken, homeless, hopeless, empty shell, looking for love.
I was once broken, homeless, hopeless, and desperate for love and connection.

I came up out of the gutter with a dream of having some kids, knowing that the life I'd give couldn't be no better than the life that I've lived.
Despite my difficult upbringing, I had a dream of having children even though I knew I couldn't provide them with a better life than I had.

But I've got one chance to break this cycle, make right all my wrongs...
I have a chance to break free from my past mistakes and do things differently this time around.

I swear to Jesus Christ it hurts me just to write out this song.
Reflecting on my past and writing this song is painful for me.

Though everybody's got their demons from the choices we make, we can either burn, learn, run, hide or correct our mistakes.
We all have our own struggles due to our choices, but we can choose to learn from them, run away or hide from them, or correct them.

Not caring about life just seemed so simple, shootin' at little kids, until I think about my daughters takin' a bullet for something I did.
I used to think not caring about life was easy and even shot at kids, but now I realize that my daughters could have been hurt because of my actions.

Then everything that made so much sense is long and forgotten.
My past actions no longer make sense to me and I have moved on from that destructive mindset.

I hate myself and I can't even remember the reason I shot them, so God tell me
I hate myself for what I did but can't even remember why I did it, and I'm seeking guidance from God.

What's love if hate can break it?
Love has no power if it can be broken by hate.

What's life if death can take it?
Life is meaningless if it can be taken away by death.

I don't really believe in life or love...
Due to my traumatic past, I struggle to believe in the concepts of life and love.

So roll the bud. love herb, I don't want to fight it so I take that weed and I light it.
To cope with my past and trauma, I choose to smoke weed and relax rather than fighting against it.

Wonder what it takes to be free, crying, confined in my misery.
I wonder what it takes to truly be free from my pain and sadness, as I feel trapped in my current misery.

Ain't no pictures of perfected been painted within my history.
I have no ideal or perfect history to look back on, only my flawed past.

I'm used to being the subject of peoples aggression, left alone turning to violence and drugs for affection.
I'm used to being on the receiving end of aggression from others, which has led me to turn to violence and drugs for comfort and affection.

It's like I'm walking this line between my love and my lust.
I struggle to differentiate between my feelings of love and lust, making it hard for me to form healthy relationships.

The streets been calling me for years sayin' "why'd you forget us?" I wanna go back so bad, invitation to my casket.
Although I've left my past behind, the streets are always calling me back which could ultimately lead to my death.

It seems I'm torn between the man I am and a man of the past...
I feel torn between my present self and the version of me that embodies my past mistakes.

You selfish bastard. Actin' like my kids ain't enough.
I recognize that my past actions have been selfish, especially considering that I have children who love and need me.

They hug me sayin' "Daddy play with us before we grow up!" So I throw away this gangsta mask before I watch my daughters grow into women on the other side of a prison glass.
My daughters remind me of what truly matters in life and I vow to shed my gangsta persona before it's too late and I miss out on the opportunity to watch them grow up.

All that I ask in this life I've been giving is to give back the life I never had to my wife and my children.
The only thing I want in life is to give my wife and children a life better than the one I had growing up.

I pack a blunt then say a prayer, find shelter from stress...
I find temporary relief from my stress by smoking weed and saying a prayer.

And like Psalm 55 I'm gonna Fly Away and be at rest.
Like the words in Psalm 55, I choose to trust in God and fly away from my troubles to find peace and rest.

Is in the air tonight, but I wouldn't know.
Love might be present in the world, but I feel too disconnected to notice it.

When I'm lonely, feeling like the world don't know me...
When I'm lonely and feel like the world doesn't understand me or my pain...

There's nothing here for me.
I feel empty and hopeless, with no sense of purpose or belonging.

Love is just a lie tonight and that's all I know because I'm lonely, feeling like the world won't hold me...
Due to my loneliness and disconnection from the world, I believe that love is just an illusion and can't help me.

There's nobody here for me.
I feel completely alone, with nobody to understand or support me.

HOOK
Chorus of the song, repeating the desire to escape and find peace.