Crywank started in 2009 with Jay Clayton attempting to do some folk-punk influenced acoustic music with no previous experience playing guitar. The first album "James is going to die soon" was inspired by a painful break up. Jay stated that "I wrote these songs out of frustration and sadness and they ended up making me feel a lot better, I hope they have a similar effect on you".
In 2012 Crywank released their second album 'Narcissist On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown'. Described as "a collection of paranoid songs mostly about me trying to understand my own sadness along with the concept of sadness as a whole. It was fueled by self help books and pot."
In late 2012 Dan Watson joined Crywank on percussion, and in early 2013 they released tour demos for their third album 'Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid' which was released in October 2013.
In 2016 Jay and Dan began couch surfing to afford to be able to tour as much as possible. Over the next four years they performed over 500 shows in over 30 countries and released four albums.
Crywank announced their breakup following a world tour in 2019, alongside the album ‘fist me til your hand comes out my mouth’’ a huge departure in sound and the first release to include songwriting from Dan and explained the tense relationship between Jay and Dan that had developed over the years on the road.
Their breakup tour was cut short by the COVID-19 pandemic and the North American and European dates had to be rescheduled numerous times. During this time Jay was in a house fire, which led to the release of a solo Crywank album ‘Just Popping In To Say Hi’ that was written and recorded over three days.
Between 2022-2023 Crywank managed to continue their final tour and performed 100 shows in the USA and over 50 shows in the UK and Ireland, often with bass player Jules Noel (AKA Guard Petal). In 2024 it was announced that Crywank will no longer be breaking up and Jules would be joining the band.
The name Crywank comes from reclaiming a cruel nickname given to Jay during a period of depression. Jay has since said that if they knew how popular the band would have become they probably would’ve chosen a different name.
A Deer Mistaking Candles For Headlights
Crywank Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
oh my neck is safely off the line
now I'm keeping my mouth shut until this is over
Why bother speaking my mind?
You can call me a liar and that would be true
though I do disagree, I don't challenge you
I am docile and lazy, I show no respect
You can call me a coward and you'd be correct
Does the blank stare scare you more than the frown?
Am I the reason you feel down?
Distant but rational, bringer of rage
to get to a level where I will engage
I am a tentacle, incapacitated obstacle
I am obsolete and apathetic, thoughtlessly apologetic
Watch my actions, or lack thereof
Negate the person, I said I was.
You could call me a Phony and I would agree
Oh I see the many versions of me that I perform
Moulded to suit
I know the real me just convolutes
You see who I am and that's scares me
You see who I am and that's scary
The lyrics to Crywank's song "A Deer Mistaking Candles for Headlights" portray the internal struggle of a person who is perceived as a coward, liar, and phony. The singer acknowledges and agrees with these labels but also expresses frustration towards being judged for not being able to speak their mind, feeling incapacitated and apathetic. The lines "Does the blank stare scare you more than the frown?" suggests that the singer is aware of how they come across and questions whether being distant and rational is more intimidating than being visibly upset. The chorus "You can call me a coward and you'd be correct" is a repeated reminder of how the person sees themselves and how they are seen by others.
The lyrics also touch on the theme of identity and self-acceptance. The lines "You see who I am and that scares me" suggest that the singer is hesitant to reveal their true self, perhaps due to fear of rejection or judgement. They acknowledge the different personas they adopt to fit in but also express a sense of unease towards losing their true self in the process.
Overall, the lyrics to "A Deer Mistaking Candles for Headlights" capture the anxiety and frustration of feeling trapped in one's own self-doubt and insecurity.
Line by Line Meaning
You can call me a coward and you'd be correct
I am afraid and unwilling to take risks
oh my neck is safely off the line
I am trying to avoid danger and any confrontation
now I'm keeping my mouth shut until this is over
I am choosing not to express my opinion and wait for the situation to pass
Why bother speaking my mind?
I do not believe it is worth it to share my thoughts
You can call me a liar and that would be true
I have lied before and accept that as fact
though I do disagree, I don't challenge you
I do not want to argue or debate with you, despite disagreeing with you
I am docile and lazy, I show no respect
I am passive and unmotivated, and I do not show respect to others
Does the blank stare scare you more than the frown?
I am expressionless and unresponsive, which may be unsettling to you
Am I the reason you feel down?
I may be the cause of your negative emotions or feelings
Distant but rational, bringer of rage
I am unemotional but may cause frustration or anger
to get to a level where I will engage
I need to reach a certain point before I am willing to participate or interact
I am a tentacle, incapacitated obstacle
I am a hindrance or barrier, unable to take action independently
I am obsolete and apathetic, thoughtlessly apologetic
I am outdated and indifferent, and apologize without thought or sincerity
Watch my actions, or lack thereof
Pay attention to what I do or do not do
Negate the person, I said I was.
Deny the person I claimed to be
You could call me a Phony and I would agree
I am not genuine and acknowledge that
Oh I see the many versions of me that I perform
I recognize that I present myself differently in various situations or to different people
Moulded to suit
I change myself to fit in or conform
I know the real me just convolutes
I am unsure of who I truly am and feel conflicted
You see who I am and that's scares me
Your perception of me is frightening
You see who I am and that's scary
Your awareness of my true self is alarming
Contributed by Josiah B. Suggest a correction in the comments below.