Crywank started in 2009 with Jay Clayton attempting to do some folk-punk influenced acoustic music with no previous experience playing guitar. The first album "James is going to die soon" was inspired by a painful break up. Jay stated that "I wrote these songs out of frustration and sadness and they ended up making me feel a lot better, I hope they have a similar effect on you".
In 2012 Crywank released their second album 'Narcissist On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown'. Described as "a collection of paranoid songs mostly about me trying to understand my own sadness along with the concept of sadness as a whole. It was fueled by self help books and pot."
In late 2012 Dan Watson joined Crywank on percussion, and in early 2013 they released tour demos for their third album 'Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid' which was released in October 2013.
In 2016 Jay and Dan began couch surfing to afford to be able to tour as much as possible. Over the next four years they performed over 500 shows in over 30 countries and released four albums.
Crywank announced their breakup following a world tour in 2019, alongside the album ‘fist me til your hand comes out my mouth’’ a huge departure in sound and the first release to include songwriting from Dan and explained the tense relationship between Jay and Dan that had developed over the years on the road.
Their breakup tour was cut short by the COVID-19 pandemic and the North American and European dates had to be rescheduled numerous times. During this time Jay was in a house fire, which led to the release of a solo Crywank album ‘Just Popping In To Say Hi’ that was written and recorded over three days.
Between 2022-2023 Crywank managed to continue their final tour and performed 100 shows in the USA and over 50 shows in the UK and Ireland, often with bass player Jules Noel (AKA Guard Petal). In 2024 it was announced that Crywank will no longer be breaking up and Jules would be joining the band.
The name Crywank comes from reclaiming a cruel nickname given to Jay during a period of depression. Jay has since said that if they knew how popular the band would have become they probably would’ve chosen a different name.
Hikikomori
Crywank Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
My Dad told me each love will be good
But my Dad's never had a broken heart
'Cause my Dad's got my Mom
I'm to scared to fall in love again
I'll just focus on my family, my art and my friends
I'm too scared to fall in love again
I want to be academic, confident and romantic
But I just feel weird and over dramatic
Daily reminders that I am pathetic
When you're surrounded by it, it's hard to forget it
I see your straight faces in the magazines
The ones I used to read, when I was 13
Now I can't sleep from all these flashbacks
Caravans and guys in bands and polystyrene hands
Everything I had I seem to have lost
And everyone who loved me seems to have forgot
Everything I want seems so far away
I'll just stay in bed for another day
Hikikomori
Hikikomori
The song Hikikomori by Crywank is a powerful depiction of someone who is struggling with a broken heart and the fear of falling in love again. The first stanza sees the singer reflecting on their father’s advice about love being good, but admits that his father couldn’t understand the pain of heartbreak as he has never experienced it himself. The singer is therefore left to handle their broken heart alone, feeling scared of falling in love again. In the chorus, the singer resolves to focus on family, art, and friends instead of falling in love again.
The second stanza sees the singer yearning to be more academic, confident, and romantic but instead feeling pathetic and weirdly dramatic. They are surrounded by cultural messages that make them feel even more alienated, such as seeing straight faces in magazines that emphasize conventional attractiveness, which they once read when they were 13. The final stanza is the climax of the song, where the singer accepts their current state of depression and isolation. They lament the loss of everything they had, including the love of those who were once close to them, feeling that everything they want seems far out of reach. The refrain “Hikikomori” repeats throughout the song, which is a Japanese term meaning “extreme social withdrawal.”
Line by Line Meaning
My Dad told me each love will be different
My father gave me advice that each love experience will be unique
My Dad told me each love will be good
My father advised me that each love experience will be positive
But my Dad's never had a broken heart
My father has never experienced the emotional pain caused by a broken heart
'Cause my Dad's got my Mom
Since my father has my mother, he has never faced the anguish of heartbreak
I'm too scared to fall in love again
I am fearful of falling in love again
I'll just focus on my family, my art and my friends
I will direct my attention towards activities involving my family, art and friends
I want to be academic, confident and romantic
I desire to possess traits of academic intelligence, confidence and capability for love
But I just feel weird and over dramatic
However, I feel strange and like my emotions are exaggerated
Daily reminders that I am pathetic
I am constantly reminded of my own inadequacies
When you're surrounded by it, it's hard to forget it
It is challenging to forget or ignore negativity when it is pervasive and persistent
I see your straight faces in the magazines
I view pictures of people with bland, emotionless expressions in magazines
The ones I used to read, when I was 13
These are the magazines that I enjoyed reading when I was thirteen years old
Now I can't sleep from all these flashbacks
I am haunted by memories that are causing me to experience insomnia
Caravans and guys in bands and polystyrene hands
These flashbacks involve images of caravans, men in bands and hands made of polystyrene material
Everything I had I seem to have lost
I feel as though I have lost everything that I once had
And everyone who loved me seems to have forgot
Even people who used to love me seem to have forgotten me
Everything I want seems so far away
All the things I desire feel out of my reach
I'll just stay in bed for another day
I will spend another day in bed, avoiding the world
Hikikomori
Repetition of the word 'Hikikomori', a Japanese term referring to social withdrawal and isolation
Contributed by Nolan S. Suggest a correction in the comments below.