Crywank started in 2009 with Jay Clayton attempting to do some folk-punk influenced acoustic music with no previous experience playing guitar. The first album "James is going to die soon" was inspired by a painful break up. Jay stated that "I wrote these songs out of frustration and sadness and they ended up making me feel a lot better, I hope they have a similar effect on you".
In 2012 Crywank released their second album 'Narcissist On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown'. Described as "a collection of paranoid songs mostly about me trying to understand my own sadness along with the concept of sadness as a whole. It was fueled by self help books and pot."
In late 2012 Dan Watson joined Crywank on percussion, and in early 2013 they released tour demos for their third album 'Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid' which was released in October 2013.
In 2016 Jay and Dan began couch surfing to afford to be able to tour as much as possible. Over the next four years they performed over 500 shows in over 30 countries and released four albums.
Crywank announced their breakup following a world tour in 2019, alongside the album ‘fist me til your hand comes out my mouth’’ a huge departure in sound and the first release to include songwriting from Dan and explained the tense relationship between Jay and Dan that had developed over the years on the road.
Their breakup tour was cut short by the COVID-19 pandemic and the North American and European dates had to be rescheduled numerous times. During this time Jay was in a house fire, which led to the release of a solo Crywank album ‘Just Popping In To Say Hi’ that was written and recorded over three days.
Between 2022-2023 Crywank managed to continue their final tour and performed 100 shows in the USA and over 50 shows in the UK and Ireland, often with bass player Jules Noel (AKA Guard Petal). In 2024 it was announced that Crywank will no longer be breaking up and Jules would be joining the band.
The name Crywank comes from reclaiming a cruel nickname given to Jay during a period of depression. Jay has since said that if they knew how popular the band would have become they probably would’ve chosen a different name.
I Am In Great Pain Please Help Me
Crywank Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Striving for significance - In a universe that will not give a shit
The myth of Sisyphus
Authenticity is important, but I'm not sure who I am anymore
I'm at the point now where I'm also doubting who I was before
The arbitrary nature of thought leaves me alone and paranoid
Synonyms for a void
Find selfish solace in mutual trepidation
The absurd condition of human existence - a struggle to embrace
I do not get the point that I am supposed to miss
The passive submission or preferred resistance - just give me breathing space
The meaning I used to find - overanalyzed, displaced.
Dispense your goals and actions into something trivial
Pick apart pointless projects, my brain sings with vitriol
I don't reflect, I destroy with thinking
The examined life is not worth living
Look at my sad life in detail and you'll see it is a comedy
Sometimes I wish I was a goat
The first two lines of the song suggest the singer's struggle in making sense of the world and their own existence. They are trying to find their place in a universe that appears indifferent, and this can be overwhelming. The reference to the myth of Sisyphus, who was condemned to push a boulder up a hill only to have it roll back down again repeatedly, suggests the futility of their efforts to find significance. The belief that authenticity is essential, but the inability to know who they are, adds to their confusion. They have lost touch with their identity, and it feels as though their thoughts are arbitrary, leaving them isolated and paranoid. The repetition of "synonyms for a void" underlines the emptiness they feel.
The second paragraph begins with the statement that nobody belongs and that time invalidates us all. This perspective offers little in the way of consolation to the singer. They find "selfish solace in mutual trepidation," suggesting they take comfort in the shared sense of fear and uncertainty with other people. The absurdity of human existence represents a challenge for the singer, and they do not understand the point of the struggle. They want breathing space to find meaning, but they have lost it under layers of over-analysis. They describe their self-destructive tendencies and a struggle with introspection that has become excessively critical. The final lines of the song are jarring; the singer describes their life as a comedy and wishes to be a goat.
Line by Line Meaning
Floundering attempts at making some sort of sense
Trying but failing to understand the chaos around us
Striving for significance - In a universe that will not give a shit
Attempting to be important in a universe that is indifferent
The myth of Sisyphus
The story of a man who repeatedly struggles to push a boulder up a hill
Authenticity is important, but I'm not sure who I am anymore
Being true to oneself is crucial, but feeling lost and unsure of our identity
I'm at the point now where I'm also doubting who I was before
Questioning not only our current identity but also our past self
The arbitrary nature of thought leaves me alone and paranoid
The random and unpredictable nature of our thinking process resulting in isolation and anxiety
Synonyms for a void
Different ways to express the emptiness we feel inside
Nobody belongs, time brings invalidation.
We all feel like we don't fit in, and with time, our identity and worth are questioned
Find selfish solace in mutual trepidation
Take comfort in shared anxiety, not necessarily wanting others to feel better but wanting to feel less alone
The absurd condition of human existence - a struggle to embrace
Our existence is ridiculous and hard to accept
I do not get the point that I am supposed to miss
Feeling lost and disconnected from the purpose or meaning of life
The passive submission or preferred resistance - just give me breathing space
Either accepting or rejecting societal expectations, but wanting space to breathe either way
The meaning I used to find - overanalyzed, displaced.
Things that once had significance now seem trivial, and we overthink and/or ignore them
Dispense your goals and actions into something trivial
Our aspirations and achievements are often reduced to something unimportant
Pick apart pointless projects, my brain sings with vitriol
Dissecting unimportant tasks, our thoughts filled with bitterness and anger
I don't reflect, I destroy with thinking
Instead of introspection, we turn to destructive thoughts, tearing ourselves down
The examined life is not worth living
Constant self-examination can lead to distress and dissatisfaction
Look at my sad life in detail and you'll see it is a comedy
If you analyze my pathetic life, it becomes somewhat amusing
Sometimes I wish I was a goat
Sometimes it feels like being an animal with no worries would be preferable to being human
Contributed by Samantha J. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
Crywank
Love seeing everyone discussing this song, especially the last line. Thank you for giving what we created such thought. The ‘goat’ reference is not greatest of all time as some people think. It is a goat. I wanted to use an animal that doesn’t have examined thought and goat was the animal I found that had the symbology I thought worked best attached to it, most specifically with how it links with the previous line (look at my sad life in detail and you’ll see it is a comedy). The concept of tragedy is historically also known as a ‘goat song’. So as well as meaning “sometimes I wish I didn’t have examined thought” the line can also double as “sometimes I wish I was a tragedy”.
Camille Holstein
I sent you guys an email a few months ago deeply describing what your music does for me, you guys have truly helped me through so much and i love you so much it is really hard to keep on but you guys help alot🖤
Brian Arden
hi you guys make cool music
Sock
Your music got randomly recommended to me through the YouTube algorithm, I’m so glad! I really enjoy it
echu.
I miss you guys already
nobume
@Sock same, one of my fav bands so far
hey it's heather
Me : Crywank is deep and relatable
Crywank : sometimes I wish I was a goat
Me : Crywank is deep and relatable
tiny angry ace
so true
the rock
heatherstarsart • you're the type of person I'd probably hang out with
Undying Laughter
To me, the "sometimes I wish I was a goat." has a deep meaning.