Crywank started in 2009 with Jay Clayton attempting to do some folk-punk influenced acoustic music with no previous experience playing guitar. The first album "James is going to die soon" was inspired by a painful break up. Jay stated that "I wrote these songs out of frustration and sadness and they ended up making me feel a lot better, I hope they have a similar effect on you".
In 2012 Crywank released their second album 'Narcissist On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown'. Described as "a collection of paranoid songs mostly about me trying to understand my own sadness along with the concept of sadness as a whole. It was fueled by self help books and pot."
In late 2012 Dan Watson joined Crywank on percussion, and in early 2013 they released tour demos for their third album 'Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid' which was released in October 2013.
In 2016 Jay and Dan began couch surfing to afford to be able to tour as much as possible. Over the next four years they performed over 500 shows in over 30 countries and released four albums.
Crywank announced their breakup following a world tour in 2019, alongside the album ‘fist me til your hand comes out my mouth’’ a huge departure in sound and the first release to include songwriting from Dan and explained the tense relationship between Jay and Dan that had developed over the years on the road.
Their breakup tour was cut short by the COVID-19 pandemic and the North American and European dates had to be rescheduled numerous times. During this time Jay was in a house fire, which led to the release of a solo Crywank album ‘Just Popping In To Say Hi’ that was written and recorded over three days.
Between 2022-2023 Crywank managed to continue their final tour and performed 100 shows in the USA and over 50 shows in the UK and Ireland, often with bass player Jules Noel (AKA Guard Petal). In 2024 it was announced that Crywank will no longer be breaking up and Jules would be joining the band.
The name Crywank comes from reclaiming a cruel nickname given to Jay during a period of depression. Jay has since said that if they knew how popular the band would have become they probably would’ve chosen a different name.
Song For A Guilty Sadist
Crywank Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Must I play the chauvanist to be the man you want?
Sweaty fingers push down on your throat, you say you like it rough,
but it's hard to think I do this out of love.
And from my own submissive pleasure I want to do just as you wish,
but I slap your face too lightly when you ask me to make fists.
Kiss me softly do not bite, we can explore like naughty kids.
You say you're bored, want dominating, and I just stare and flinch.
How rude of me to bring my thoughts into your bedroom.
Is it condescending to be so scared I might hurt you.
In Crywank's Song for a Guilty Sadist, the singer is in a relationship where they physically dominate their partner. The lyrics express their conflicted feelings towards this behavior, questioning whether or not it's necessary to play the role of a chauvinist in order to be the kind of man their partner wants. The singer's doubts are further exacerbated by the fact that they don't entirely understand why they're doing what they're doing, or if it's truly motivated by love or a different kind of pleasure.
The second verse of the song delves even further into the singer's feelings, expressing their desire to please their partner but feeling unsure about how to do so. They reveal that they're simultaneously submissive and dominant, wanting to follow their partner's lead but unable to fully commit to the level of aggression they're asking for. The final line of the song is particularly poignant, with the singer questioning whether or not their own thoughts and feelings are welcome in this dynamic.
Overall, Song for a Guilty Sadist is an uncomfortable and thought-provoking exploration of power dynamics within romantic relationships, highlighting the complexities of consensual BDSM and the nuanced emotional toll it can take on both parties involved.
Line by Line Meaning
This makes me feel like a weak man who thinks that he is strong.
The singer feels inadequate and believes that being aggressive towards their partner will make them feel stronger.
Must I play the chauvanist to be the man you want?
The singer questions whether they have to act in a misogynistic manner to be desired by their partner.
Sweaty fingers push down on your throat, you say you like it rough,
but it's hard to think I do this out of love.
The singer struggles with the physical and emotional aspects of BDSM, questioning whether they are doing it out of genuine love for their partner or simply to fulfill their own desires.
And from my own submissive pleasure I want to do just as you wish,
but I slap your face too lightly when you ask me to make fists.
The artist enjoys being submissive, but struggles with being too gentle when their partner asks them to be more aggressive.
Kiss me softly do not bite, we can explore like naughty kids.
You say you're bored, want dominating, and I just stare and flinch.
The artist and their partner have different sexual desires, and the artist is unsure about how to proceed and fulfill their partner's needs without compromising their own boundaries.
How rude of me to bring my thoughts into your bedroom.
The singer feels guilty about questioning their partner's desires and bringing up their own doubts during intimate moments.
Is it condescending to be so scared I might hurt you.
The singer wonders if their fear of hurting their partner is dismissive of their partner's own desires and autonomy in their sexual relationship.
Contributed by Sadie O. Suggest a correction in the comments below.