forgive me
D12 ft. 50 Cent Lyrics

Barely raised by my dysfunctional fam
I was not given proper upbringing by my family

Here I stand as a dysfunctional man
As a result of my upbringing, I am now a dysfunctional person

Quick-tempered, short-fused, and pissed at God
I am easily enraged and resentful towards God

Demons pullin' at my soul 'til it's ripped apart
I feel like I am being torn apart by inner demons

Secret's out momma that fire I started it
I have revealed the truth that I was responsible for starting a fire

Fuck the fireman logic of the closet by the wire shit
I do not believe in the idea of hiding things in the closet

What's positive about a father that bust nuts then wussed up
There is nothing good about a father who abandons his responsibilities

And a momma that don't show her son enough love
Likewise, a mother who fails to show love is also a negative influence

Shit, that's why I run from my first son
This is why I avoid my own son

And force these chicken head bitches to get abortions
I even make my partners get abortions

I'm married to game, my mistress is fame
I am devoted to the music industry more than anything else

My girl Paq the closest, she know I ain't gon' change
My girl Paq is the closest person to me and understands that I am not going to change

Go insane in a world evil as ours
This cruel world is driving me to insanity

I done shot at houses, people and cars
I have even resorted to violence by shooting at houses, people, and cars

The deeper the scars, the worst is the history
The more scars I have, the more troubled my past is

God you ain't gotta forgive me, just don't forget me, you hear me?
I do not expect God to forgive me, but I hope He remembers me

Lord forgive me, for I've sinned
I am praying to God for His forgiveness

Over and over again just to stay, on top
I have repeatedly sinned just to maintain my status on top

I recall memories, filled, with sin
I remember my past sins quite vividly

And most importantly I'm tryin' to support my seeds
Above all, I am trying to provide for my children

Can't seem to get away from them courtin' fees
However, I am often plagued by legal fees

Embroidery, on my hood across my heart disorderly
My clothing and demeanor are often disorderly, as blank spots on my hoodie illustrate

Breakin' in houses of people who ain't got more than me
I sometimes resort to stealing from people who have less than me

Accordingly, I move in error
I am prone to making mistakes

Gotta face the fact though I can't fool this mirror
I must force myself to acknowledge the truth and confront myself in the mirror

Neglected my daughter and tryin' to blame on how I was brought up
I am trying to excuse my negligence towards my daughter as a result of my own upbringing

Like I'm a product of this environment, why ain't I shot up?
I feel like I am a product of my troubled environment, so why have I not fallen victim to violence as well?

Got up today like, "Why you let me breathe again?"
I am questioning why God has given me another day to live

And with each breath I feel death is creepin' in
I feel like death is slowly creeping up on me with every breath I take

Thinkin' sinners are winners and I'ma finish last
I am beginning to believe that those who commit sins have success, whereas I am destined to fail

My pen and pad record my life as each minute pass
I document my life through writing in hopes of understanding it better

Passin minutes, I shook sin and shook drugs
I am gradually breaking away from sin and drug addiction

I did right by you but still you took Bugz
I lived my life according to God's will, yet He still took my friend Bugz

Then caught me in adultery, fought me
God still punishes me, such as by exposing me for my adultery and engaging in conflict with me

For not knowin' through the dark streets you walked me, talked to me
I failed to recognize that God was with me through the many struggles and hardships I have faced

It's the risk that's a rush so rush my wrists in the cuffs
I am willing to take risks that may endanger my freedom and result in my arrest

It's like a fight for yo' attention and love
I am always competing for attention and love

Speakin' of Bugz, give me a hint from above
I am asking God to send a sign associated with my deceased friend Bugz

If he not you know I wanna be sent when I'm done
If Bugz is not in heaven, I also want to be sent to the same place when I die

Kid outta wedlock so my lady's frontin'
My child was born out of wedlock, and my partner is struggling to cope with this fact

I love 'Em, cause he gave me somethin'
But despite this, I still love my child because he is my own flesh and blood

A positive anything is better than a negative nothin'
I believe that any positive addition to my life is better than nothing at all

I was on the edge of death ready to jump in
I was at the brink of death contemplating suicide

It's hard when you can't find love anywhere
Love is hard to come by, and I find myself struggling with this fact

And just because the reverend listen, don't mean he care
Even when people listen to my struggles, it does not always mean that they truly care

Pops on crack with a sufferin' past
My father has had a difficult past, and he struggles with drug addiction

I dream in black and white, the world color me bad
I have a bleak outlook on life and often dream of dark, monochrome scenarios

Other than sad, painful and stress
My life is filled with sadness, pain, and stress

Life is good with the webs that, tangle with death
Despite this, I still find joy in living life and being confronted with risk and danger

Control the border, control the school
Those who control the borders also have the power to control education

I have sinned amongst men and my soul is yours, yours
I have committed sins and now entrust my soul to God