Gillian Was Here
Damien Jurado Lyrics


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It's midnight and I give up
I'm tired of lying for you
I will not hold your hands and pretend I'm your lover

You must admit the turn offs
Have all been less than grand
There's no more police escorts or the high school welcome bands
I'm no lie detector
He's no bullshit talker and we both know who knows
What should be known to all the authors

Now they've put away the kissing booths
The chapstick gossip's truth
The only donkey they'll be riding, boy, is the one wearing your shoes

Now they've heard it through the walls of telephone operators
And I found out from someone else, he said he was your brother

I'm no lie detector
He's no bullshit talker and we both know who knows
What should be known to all the authors

I don't care if I'm the only one who's not payin
Cause honey I am done staying up all night waiting

Now we're all tying the ribbons of worry to your tree
Your passing will make the headlines but sadly no one will read

Just how the town's hopeless romantic had his heart on his sleeve
Died alone in the car park of a local library

I'm no lie detector




He's no bullshit talker and we both know who knows
What should be known to all the authors

Overall Meaning

The song "Gillan Was A Horse" by Damien Jurado is a poignant tale of heartbreak, disappointment, and lost love. The lyrics are full of raw emotion and are delivered with a sense of resignation and sadness. The main character in the song is tired of pretending to be someone's lover and is done with all the lies and deceit. He is no longer willing to put up with being taken for granted and is fed up with the other person's lack of commitment and affection.


The song's title may seem random, but it actually refers to a childhood friend of the singer's who would pretend to be a horse. The use of this metaphor is cleverly used in the lyrics to represent the singer's relationship with his lover. The horse represents the person he once knew, full of energy and vitality, but now it has become slow and burdensome.


The verses describe a decline in their relationship, from the exciting beginnings with police escorts and high school welcome bands to the disappointing reality of the present. The singer has also discovered that the other person has been lying to him and is no longer willing to believe anything they say. The final verse is particularly heartbreaking, as it describes the solitude and isolation of the other person's death, highlighting the sadness and loss at the core of this song.


Line by Line Meaning

It's midnight and I give up
I am tired of waiting up for you and have given up hoping for things to change.


I'm tired of lying for you
I am exhausted from pretending to be your lover and hiding the truth.


I will not hold your hands and pretend I'm your lover
I refuse to continue pretending to be romantically involved with you and participating in your lies.


You must admit the turn offs
You need to acknowledge the bad things that have happened between us.


Have all been less than grand
All of the negative experiences we've shared have been disappointing and unpleasant.


There's no more police escorts or the high school welcome bands
Our relationship is no longer as exciting or glamorous as it once was, with no more attention or special treatment.


I'm no lie detector
I am not an expert in determining lies or deception.


He's no bullshit talker and we both know who knows
He is honest and trustworthy, and we both know who has the real answers to our problems.


What should be known to all the authors
The truth of our situation should be documented and shared with others.


Now they've put away the kissing booths
The town has moved on from the romantic events and activities of the past.


The chapstick gossip's truth
The rumors circulating about us are actually true.


The only donkey they'll be riding, boy, is the one wearing your shoes
Our reputation has been damaged and people will be making fun of you for a long time.


Now they've heard it through the walls of telephone operators
The town is gossiping about us and spreading rumors through phone calls.


And I found out from someone else, he said he was your brother
I learned about the truth of our situation from someone who claimed to be your brother.


I don't care if I'm the only one who's not payin
I am fine with not participating in the lies and not supporting you financially.


Cause honey I am done staying up all night waiting
I am tired of waiting for you and am ready to move on.


Now we're all tying the ribbons of worry to your tree
People are worried about your well-being and future.


Your passing will make the headlines but sadly no one will read
Your death will be newsworthy, but no one will really care or pay attention.


Just how the town's hopeless romantic had his heart on his sleeve
The town will remember you as a romantic person who was very open about their emotions.


Died alone in the car park of a local library
You died alone and forgotten in a parking lot.




Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: DAMIEN JURADO, JENNA CONRAD

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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