Tonight I Will Retire
Damien Jurado Lyrics


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Oh tonight I will retire
To the arms of my lover
The sweetest kiss she will give
As I lay down beside her

What will she think
When she awakes
Just to find I have left here

Oh tonight I will retire
To these hands with revolver
And I don't fear death
I will commit
Like an old friend I've known forever

So come on in, take me on
No I won't stay here no longer

And if I should taste fire
Save me not, I deserve to die

And oh tonight I will retire
To loving arms of my savior
And we will walk through his gates
To the skies of Heaven

And no more tears will I cry
Are my sins, are they forgiven





And if I should taste fire
Save me not, I deserve to die

Overall Meaning

The song "Tonight I Will Retire" by Damien Jurado is a deeply emotional and introspective piece that explores themes of love, death, and redemption. The singer of the song seems to be in a state of existential crisis, contemplating the meaning of his life and his place in the world. He speaks of retiring to the arms of his lover, seeking comfort and solace in her caress as he confronts his mortality. At the same time, he embraces the idea of death, acknowledging it as an old friend that he has known forever. This juxtaposition of love and death creates a powerful contrast that speaks to the complex and often paradoxical nature of human emotion.


As the song progresses, the singer becomes increasingly resigned to his fate. He speaks of a "revolver" and of "committing" to death, suggesting that he may be contemplating suicide as a way of escaping the pain and uncertainty of life. The sense of inevitability and fatalism that pervades the song is underscored by the repeated refrain of "save me not, I deserve to die."


Despite this bleak outlook, there is a sense of hope and redemption that runs through the song. The singer speaks of retiring to the loving arms of his savior, and of walking through the gates of Heaven, where there will be no more tears and his sins will be forgiven. This suggests that, even in the darkest moments of despair, there is the possibility of a higher power that can offer peace and solace.


Overall, "Tonight I Will Retire" is a haunting and deeply moving song that captures the complex and often contradictory emotions that accompany the human experience.


Line by Line Meaning

Oh tonight I will retire
I will retire for the night


To the arms of my lover
I will spend the night with my significant other


The sweetest kiss she will give
I will receive a loving kiss from her


As I lay down beside her
I will sleep next to her


What will she think
I wonder what her reaction will be


When she awakes
After she wakes up


Just to find I have left here
To realize that I have already gone


To these hands with revolver
To my hands holding a gun


And I don't fear death
I am not afraid of dying


I will commit
I will end my life


Like an old friend I've known forever
As if death is a familiar acquaintance


So come on in, take me on
Death, come and take me


No I won't stay here no longer
I won't continue to suffer


And if I should taste fire
If I end up in hell


Save me not, I deserve to die
I don't deserve to be saved


To loving arms of my savior
I will be embraced by my savior


And we will walk through his gates
We will enter heaven


To the skies of Heaven
To the heavens above


And no more tears will I cry
I won't cry anymore


Are my sins, are they forgiven
Have my sins been forgiven?




Lyrics © SC PUBLISHING DBA SECRETLY CANADIAN PUB.
Written by: Damien Jurado

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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