After All
Dar Williams Lyrics

Go ahead push your luck
Take risks and find out how much love the world can hold.

Find out how much love the world can hold
Exploring the world and taking risks can lead to discovering how much love exists in it.

Once upon a time I had control and reined my soul in tight
There was a time when I had control over my emotions but I suppressed them tightly.

Well the whole truth
The full truth.

Is like the story of a wave unfurled
The whole truth is like the story of a wave, complex and ever-changing.

But I held the evil of the world
I held on to the pain and suffering that exists in the world.

So I stopped the tide froze it up from inside
I tried to control the pain and suffering by putting up an emotional barrier.

And it felt like
It was like

A winter machine that you go through and then
A perception of life like a machine that you experience and emerge from.

You catch your breath and winter starts again
After experiencing the hardships of life, you recover and start over again in a new season.

And everyone else is spring bound
Everyone else seems to have an easy life and move on from hardships.

And when I chose to live
When I made the decision to truly live.

There was no joy it's just a line I crossed
Choosing to truly live was a difficult and painful decision.

It wasn't worth the pain my death would cost
Death seemed like an easier alternative to the pain of truly living.

So I was not lost or found
I was lost in my own mind and emotions and unable to find my way out.

And if I was to sleep
If I were to simply exist without truly living.

I knew my family had more truth to tell
I knew that my family had a deep history and truth to tell me.

And so I traveled down a whispering well
I sought out a place of reflection and introspection to learn more about myself.

To know myself through them
To understand myself by learning about my family's experiences and history.

Growing up my mom had a room full of books
As a child, my mother had a love of books and learning.

And hid away in there
She spent a lot of time alone in that room.

Her father raging down a spiral stair
Her father was abusive and went through emotional ups and downs.

Till he found someone, most days his son
He would take out his anger and frustration on his son.

And sometimes I think
Sometimes I wonder.

My father, too, is a refugee
I think my father, like my mother, may have had a difficult past.

I know they tried to keep their pain from me
My parents tried to protect me from their own pain and suffering.

They could not see what it was for
They didn't understand how their experiences shaped their lives and mine.

But now I'm sleeping fine
Now that I have a better understanding of my family's history, I am at peace.

Sometimes the truth is like a second chance
Discovering the truth about yourself or your family can feel like a second chance to understand and grow.

I am the daughter of a great romance
My parents had a complicated and passionate love story.

And they are the children of the war
My parents grew up during a time of war and its lasting effects impacted their lives.

Well, the sun rose
A new day began.

With so many colors it nearly broke my heart
The beauty of the sunrise was overwhelming and emotional.

It worked me over like a work of art
The sunrise affected me like a piece of art that moves and inspires.

And I was a part of all that
I was part of the beauty and wonder of life.

Say what it is you gotta say to me
Speak your truth to me.

We will push on into that mystery
We will continue to explore the mysteries and complexities of life together.

And it will push right back
Life will push back and challenge us in unexpected ways.

And there are worse things than that
There are worse things than being challenged and tested in life.

'Cause for every price
For every sacrifice or challenge in life.

And every penance that I could think of
And every punishment or suffering that I could imagine.

It's better to have fallen in love
Despite the challenges, it's better to experience love and all its complexities.

Than never to have fallen at all
It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

'Cause when you live in a world
When you live in this complex world...

Well it gets in to who you thought you'd be
It shapes and changes who you thought you would become.

And now I laugh at how the world changed me
I can look back and laugh at how my experiences have changed me and my perception of the world.

I think life chose me
Life has a way of leading us down unexpected paths and shaping us in unique ways.

After all
When all is said and done.