Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
Darius Rucker Lyrics


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When my belly starts a-rumblin'
and I'm Jonesin' for a treat,
I close my eyes for a big surprise
the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I love the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
The breasts they grow on trees
and streams of bacon ranch dressing
flow right up to your knees

There's tumbleweeds of bacon
and cheddar paves the streets
Folks don't front ya 'cause you got the juice
there's a train of ladies coming with a nice caboose never get in trouble, never need an excuse
That's the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I love the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
No one tells you to behave (behave)
Your wildest fantasies come true
Dallas cheerleaders give you shaves

Red onions make you laugh instead
and french fries grow like weeds
You get to veg all day
all the lotto tickets pay
there's a king who wants you to have it your way,




That's the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

Overall Meaning

It's safe to say that Darius Rucker's "Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch" is not your typical love ballad. The lyrics are an ode to fast food, specifically Burger King's Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch sandwich. The song's narrator describes his insatiable hunger and how he turns to the sandwich as a treat to satisfy his cravings. He paints a vivid picture of a world where the sandwich is king, and everything revolves around it. The imagery is over-the-top and amusing, with the sandwich becoming a symbol of indulgence and excess.


The song is essentially a parody of fast-food culture, poking fun at how we often turn to unhealthy options to satisfy our cravings. By presenting the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch sandwich as a fantastical and almost mythical entity, Rucker highlights how we can become obsessed with junk food, to the point where it takes on a life of its own. The lyrics are clever and playful, with a catchy chorus that will stick in your head long after the song is over.


Line by Line Meaning

When my belly starts a-rumblin'
When I start to feel hungry


and I'm Jonesin' for a treat,
And I want something delicious to eat


I close my eyes for a big surprise
I anticipate something wonderful


the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
The delicious burger called Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch


I love the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
I enjoy the wonderful burger named Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch


The breasts they grow on trees
The chicken meat used in the burger comes from trees


and streams of bacon ranch dressing
The dressing poured over the burger is made of bacon ranch


flow right up to your knees
The dressing is so much that it flows up to your knees


There's tumbleweeds of bacon
There's a lot of bacon lying around like tumbleweeds


and cheddar paves the streets
The streets are paved with cheddar cheese


Folks don't front ya 'cause you got the juice
People treat you with respect because you have the burger


there's a train of ladies coming with a nice caboose
Ladies are coming to admire and try the burger


never get in trouble, never need an excuse
There's never a reason to defend yourself or apologize for having the burger


No one tells you to behave (behave)
No one tells you to control your excitement


Your wildest fantasies come true
Your greatest fantasies become a reality


Dallas cheerleaders give you shaves
Even cheerleaders from Dallas give you shaves


Red onions make you laugh instead
Even onions make you feel happy instead of tearful


and french fries grow like weeds
There are plenty of french fries around


You get to veg all day
You get to relax and eat all day


all the lotto tickets pay
All the lottery tickets you buy pay off


there's a king who wants you to have it your way,
The burger is perfect for you in every way


That's the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
That's the amazing Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch burger!




Contributed by Molly N. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Comments from YouTube:

@AvatarRiku

Im so glad my brain prioritized the lyrics to this song over trigonometry

@ghost-wh3wd

I just woke up with this song randomly looping in my head and your comment killed me

@metallicarabbit

my brain does this for many useless things..... i can remember commercials from decades ago but i cant remember shit i actually need

@THEGRUMPTRUCK

Because there's a king who wants you to have it your way, and your way is not trigonometry.

@danterosenberg7506

I was still getting tutored in math when this came out lol but the original Big Rock Candy Mountain never fails to make me laugh 😂

@KairuHakubi

@@metallicarabbit I mean how often do you need trigonometry

6 More Replies...

@foxbear60

This is one of my most favorite commercials of all time. It's stayed in my head for over a decade now, and I still love it.

@fuckmicrotransactions6812

foxbear60 same here

@Channel51_LA

Hard same.

@ericsuperdietz9936

the best commercial ever

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