You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch
Darius Rucker (Holiday) Lyrics

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You possess a cruel and malevolent nature, Mr. Grinch.

You really are a heel
There is no denying that you are unpleasant and unkind.

You're as cuddly as a cactus
You are about as huggable as a prickly desert plant.

You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch
You possess a deceptive, slippery charm, Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!
You are a reprehensible and rotten individual, with a particularly unsavory exterior, Mr. Grinch.

Your heart's an empty hole
Your heart is vacant, devoid of any goodness or kindness, Mr. Grinch.

Your brain is full of spiders
Your mind is infested with creepy-crawly arachnids, Mr. Grinch.

You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch
Your soul is tainted and foul, with a particularly pungent scent, Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
I would not come within a wide berth of you, Mr. Grinch.

You have termites in your smile
Even your smile is infested with pests, Mr. Grinch.

You have all the tender sweetness
You possess not even the slightest hint of warmth or kindness,

Of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch
You are as pleasant as a nauseous reptile, Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
If I had to select from two unpleasant options,

I'd take the seasick crocodile!
I would choose the crocodile, unpleasant as that may be.

You're a nasty wasty skunk
You stink worse than a foul-smelling mammal, Mr. Grinch.

Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your heart is filled with the odor of dirty, unclean clothing, Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch
Your soul is filled with a disgusting, slimy substance, Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote
To succinctly summarize your vile character,

"Stink, stank, stunk!"
"You emit a putrid odor and are repulsive, and have been for some time."

You're the king of sinful sots
You are the ruler of all wicked and immoral individuals, Mr. Grinch.

Your heart's a dead tomato splotched
Your heart is like a moldy vegetable, rotten and unsightly, Mr. Grinch.

With moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch
The fungus growing on your heart takes on a particularly repugnant hue, Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an appalling dump heap
The state of your soul resembles a disgusting and foul-smelling garbage dump, Mr. Grinch.

Overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable
It is brimming with all manner of offensive and contemptible debris, beyond what one could even imagine.

Mangled up in tangled up knots!
It is twisted and jumbled beyond comprehension, Mr. Grinch.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch
You cause me to feel physically ill, Mr. Grinch.

With a nauseous super "naus"
Your nauseating influence is particularly strong and powerful.

You're a crooked dirty jockey
You are a deceitful and underhanded horse-rider, Mr. Grinch.

And you drive a crooked horse, Mr. Grinch
You steer your mount in a dishonest and harmful manner, Mr. Grinch.

You're a three-decker sauerkraut
You are a layered sandwich composed of fermented cabbage, Mr. Grinch.

And toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!
And you are also a sandwich made with poisonous mushrooms and sauce, Mr. Grinch!