Saints And Sailors
Dashboard Confessional Lyrics

This is where I say I've had enough
I'm at my breaking point and can't take it anymore.

And no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
My emotions are overwhelming and unbearable, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone else.

A walking open wound,
I feel exposed and raw, like a physical wound that can't heal.

A trophy display of bruises
My emotional pain is evident to others, like visible bruises on my skin that make me feel like a prize to be won in some twisted way.

And I don't believe that I'm getting any better.
I feel stagnant and like I'm not making progress in resolving my emotional turmoil.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
I am desperate for contact with someone, anyone, to break the isolation and loneliness I feel.

And I'm thinking awful things
My thoughts are despairing and negative, and I'm unable to shake them on my own.

I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
I feel invisible and unimportant to others, as if no one would care if I disappeared.

And this apartment Is starving for an argument.
I long for some kind of emotional release, even if it means fighting or arguing, because anything would be better than silence and loneliness.

Anything at all to break the silence.
I am so desperate for connection that I would do almost anything to break the oppressive silence around me.

Wandering this house Like I've never wanted out
I feel trapped in my own home, unable to escape my thoughts and emotions.

And this is about as social as I get now.
I'm so withdrawn and depressed that even being alone at home is my only comfort zone.

And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you
I am unable to communicate my feelings effectively, even in writing, so I discard any attempts to reach out.

Cause they would never do, I would never do.
I know deep down that sending letters won't fix anything, so I don't bother trying.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
I am so desperate for connection that I cling to the hope that someone will reach out to me.

And I'm thinking awful things
My thoughts continue to spiral downward, feeding into my despair and isolation.

So don't be a liar
I am wary of people who pretend that everything is fine or that they care about me when they don't.

Don't say that Everything's working
I don't want people to lie to me about how they feel or the state of their relationships, because it just makes things worse.

When everything's broken.
I know that everything is not fine or working properly, and this dishonesty only adds to my feelings of isolation and despair.

And you smile like a saint
You put on a façade of goodness and kindness, as if you are above judgment or criticism.

But you curse like a sailor
You have a dark side that you keep hidden from others, one that uses profanity or is angry and aggressive.

And your eyes say the jokes on me.
You seem to be laughing and joking about my emotional pain, as if it's a joke or something to enjoy at my expense.

But, I'm not laughing
I am not amused or entertained by this behavior, but I am hurt and exhausted by trying to keep up appearances.

You're not leaving
I am stuck in this situation, unable to move on or escape the emotional turmoil I am in.

Who do I think I am kidding?
I am fooling myself if I think that things will get better or that I can handle this on my own.

When I'm the only one locked in this hell
I am alone in my suffering, trapped in a cycle of despair and hopelessness that I can't seem to break free from.

As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder how you're making out.
I'll listen to depressing music and wallow in my own misery, wondering about others' happiness and feeling helpless to change my own situation.

But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone, making out.
I long for physical contact and intimacy, and would do almost anything to break free from my current situation and find some joy and happiness.