Florence Falls
David O'Doherty Lyrics

Your ears would prick, your tail flick
As I approached the door, you would react to the sound of my footsteps and wag your tail in anticipation

As my key went in the door
As I unlocked the door and entered the house

I'd call your name, you'd start to growl
I would call out to you, but you would respond aggressively by growling

And move menacingly across the floor
You would walk purposefully and threateningly towards me

And as you'd thundered down the stairs
You would run down the stairs as if in anger or excitement

Snarling angrily
You would make aggressive snarling sounds at me

I'd wonder why I liked you so much
I would question my feelings towards you, given your unpleasant behavior

And you always hated me
You seemed to harbor a persistent dislike for me

In the summer we'd go walking to the beach or to the park
During the warmer months, we would take walks together to outdoor locations

You wouldn't like the route I took
You had a preference for certain routes and would refuse to go a different way

So you'd refuse to walk and bark
You would display your displeasure by barking and refusing to move forward on the walk

In the winter you'd curl up by the fire at home
During the colder months, you would often lie down by the fireplace

I'd go off to get your chew-chew
I would leave the room to get a chew toy for you

And then you'd eat my mobile phone
Upon my return, I would discover that you had destroyed my mobile phone

The first time that you nipped me
The first time you bit me

People said you were just young
Others attributed your behavior to being a young dog

And the second time it was the heat
Your behavior was excused as being due to the hot weather

And the third you were only having fun (ha ha ha ha ha)
Your behavior was again excused as playful and fun

And the fourth time I actually needed Tetnus
The fourth time you bit me, it was serious enough to require a tetanus shot

And you got neutered at the vet
You were taken to the vet to have a castration operation

She said that it would calm you down
The vet suggested that neutering would help manage your aggressive behavior

And then you bit me on the leg
Despite the operation, you continued to act aggressively and bit me once again

I remember one time at Christmas
A memory of a specific Christmas comes to mind

When you opened all the stuff
You had opened all the wrapped gifts underneath the Christmas tree

I put you out into the garden
You were sent outside into the garden as a punishment for your behavior

And you were frurious
You were angry and upset at being punished

You cried so much at this great injustice
You showed your dissatisfaction through loud crying

I had to let you back in
I relented and allowed you back inside the house

And then you were good for an hour
You behaved well for a short period of time

Then you licked the turkey
You showed your mischievous side by licking the turkey in the kitchen

Now the post remains uneaten
Since you are no longer around, the post remains untouched and uneaten

And the bin just stays standing up
The bin is no longer knocked over by you rummaging through it

Noone barks at aeroplanes
Without you, there is no longer anyone barking at airplanes flying overhead

Or occansionly shits in my bed
You were known to have accidents in the house, including on my bed

Oh, Florence, there was nothing good about you
There were few redeeming qualities that could be attributed to you

I can't think of anything
I struggle to think of even one positive thing to say about you

But I wish that you were still at home
Despite everything, I still long for your presence in the house

Hateing me again
To experience the same level of dislike and hostility towards me as before

You were a rubbish dog
You were not a good or well-behaved dog

But a rubbish dog is better
Even a poorly behaved dog is still better than having no dog at all

Than no dog
Having no dog to share life with and provide companionship would be worse than having a poorly behaved one