Thinking of You
Dead Swans Lyrics

It's starting to pull me under, I can feel it beneath my feet.
I am beginning to feel overwhelmed, and the weight of my problems is becoming suffocating.

The last few months have passed so slowly
The time since I have seen you feels like it has been dragging on for ages.

And it's been so long since I've seen your smile.
I miss you terribly, and the thought of your smile brings me joy that I desperately crave.

I'm afraid to ask what's wrong so I sit and stare
I want to help you but am unsure how, and the fear of making things worse prevents me from even asking.

Frustrated digging my nails into my palms.
The frustration I feel is causing me physical pain, and I am struggling to keep my emotions in check.

I never wanted you to see me like that.
I am embarrassed by my behavior and do not want to burden you with my struggles.

Bloodshot eyes, bleeding fists, speechless love, a new year's wish.
I am consumed by intense emotions that I am unable to express, leaving me feeling helpless and alone.

I never wanted you to see me reenact those days I threw away.
I am replaying old mistakes and failures in my head, and I do not want you to witness my self-destructive behavior.

Stuttered screams from a distant voice:
I am hearing echoes of painful memories that are causing me emotional distress.

I followed you all the way to your front door.
I went out of my way to be near you, but even that was not enough to ease my pain.

No words could take the pain from your eyes
I am aware of the suffering you are experiencing, and it breaks my heart to see you hurting.

Like a knife through the heart.
It hurts me deeply to see you in pain, and I am struggling to deal with my own emotions as well.

I'll be sleeping alone tonight;
I am feeling lonely and isolated, despite being surrounded by others.

And when I wake you won't see me again,
I am afraid of being forgotten or ignored, and am considering distancing myself from you to avoid further pain.

You won't have to worry about me anymore.
I am afraid of causing you further worry or distress, and am considering withdrawing from our relationship for your sake.

I'm sorry for all the times I fucked up,
I am aware that I have made mistakes in our relationship, and want to make amends for my errors.

I'm sorry for every time I let you down.
I regret the times when I have disappointed you, and wish to rectify the situation.

You always said it was hard to talk and I guess it always was.
I now understand that communication has always been a struggle for us, and it has contributed to the difficulties in our relationship.

But it still feels the same, I still feel the same.
Despite my best efforts, I am still feeling the same as I always have, and am unsure how to move forward.

The only difference is you're not there.
The absence of your presence has made everything else in my life more difficult to bear.

I brought this on myself: you're not there.
I am taking responsibility for the situation we are in, and understand that my own actions have contributed to our current state.

When I need you the most, you're not there.
I am feeling vulnerable and alone, and the absence of your support makes the situation even worse.

And I can't stop thinking of you.
You are constantly on my mind, and the thought of being without you is causing me great pain.