If You Must
Del Tha Funkee Homosapien Lyrics

It's important to practice good hygiene
Maintaining cleanliness is crucial

At least if you want to run with my team
It's necessary for you to be hygienic if you want to associate with me

I'm bout to get into some shit that I've seen
I'm about to talk about some unpleasant things I have witnessed

This fool's breath, I mean so bad it'll melt your ice cream
The person's breath was extremely foul that it could ruin the taste of even ice cream

They say don't say nothing if you can't say nice things
People advise not to speak unpleasant things about someone

Sittin' too close to him it burned(?) like my eyes sting
Being in proximity to the person was uncomfortable, causing a burning sensation in the eyes

I try to be subtle, hand him a stick of gum
I attempted to be indirect by offering him gum

I was a victim of breath on him
I experienced the unpleasant smell of his breath

Running his yap about what sets he from
He kept talking about his gang affiliations

Gotta get some gum gotta get him some
I realized the person desperately needed some gum to freshen his breath

He turned it down, his teeth was brown
He refused to take the gum, and his teeth were discolored

Excruciating for him and it was a new sensation
The discomfort he experienced from the bad breath was new for him

I had to ask the dope to pass the soap
I had to request him to give me the soap

Cause his toe had the sniff of crustaceans
His feet had an unpleasant smell like that of crustaceans

Or bathrooms in a bus station
His feet smelled like the bathrooms found in bus stations

He had a can of Olde E and some raisins
He had a can of Olde English malt liquor and some raisins

Amazing, head to toe B.O.
His body odor was terrible from head to toe

He didn't know, used to the fragrance
The person was unaware of his own body odor and used to that smell

Just as the days went without bathing
He had not showered for many days

He felt manly and not like a maiden
He believed that being dirty made him more masculine and not feminine

He had one dread, and fungus
He had only one dreadlock that was infected with fungus

Said he worked on peoples' toilets with plungers
He claimed to be a plumber who uses a plunger for unclogging toilets

Girls let the guy you were with ????
Girls wouldn't associate with a guy who smells so bad

So guys take your cue from this number
Guys should learn a lesson from this

[Chorus:Repeat x2]
The chorus repeats twice in the song

You gotta wash your ass, if you must
It's essential to wash your buttocks if it's necessary

You gotta wash your hair, if you must
If required, you need to shampoo your hair

You gotta brush your teeth, if you must
It's necessary to brush your teeth if it's needed

Or else you'll be funky
Or else you'll begin to emit an unpleasant odor

Now at class you need total concentration
During a class, you need to focus entirely

But there's kids in the back holdin' conversations
However, some students at the back are holding talks during the class

Crackin' on each other, and neither were poster boys
They were teasing each other and did not have good looks

Both of em smell like the type that soap avoids
Both of them had an unpleasant smell that soap tries to avoid

Coast and Joy, they leave their absence
Coast and Joy were absent from the class

One's fool's feet smelled like it struck some matchsticks
One of the boys had terrible smelling feet as if they had been struck by matchsticks

Brimstone, girls would never bring him home
The smell from one of the guys was like brimstone - sulfur, that no girl would bring him to their home

I was laughin', then his friend raised his tone
I was laughing, but then his friend spoke up in a serious manner

And said, "Bud(?) you rolled all over yourself" "yeaaa"
His friend said that he has rolled all over himself, and agreed with him

I know some people your ass should be submerged
Some individuals' butts should be completely submerged

Like you need to deal with water 'cause you smell like a turd
They smell like feces and need to take a shower to deal with it

Want to cap get some courage, your feet smell lurid
If you want to have a good time, get some guts, and take care of your smelly feet

Well look it up
You can search for it and see for yourself

And while you're at it, get a cup
Also, get a cup for what's coming next

And squeeze the sweat out your sweatshirt and drink it or gargle
Squeeze the sweat out of your sweatshirt and either drink it or use it for gargling

You get our vote for most stinkiest
They voted him to be the smelliest person

That nigga started thinkin' of shit, said I was frail
The person began to make up insults, and called me weak

I said he was stale
I retorted back that he was musty

Underarms is ripe
The person's underarms were smelly

Undergarments tight, about to leap out your holy sweats
Their undergarments were tight and almost popping out of their holy sweats

And we holding bets, and after this I'm gonna collect
They had bets and wagers and plan to collect after this conversation

Nigga check, yourself
Check your hygiene, man

Respect yourself
Have some self-respect and maintain hygiene

And wash your mothafuckin' body 'fore your sweatshirt melt
Take a bath before your clothes start melting due to sweat

Like radioactive, no lady find you attractive
You are as unappealing to women as a radioactive material

The funk got you captive
Your body odor holds you captive

You don't need a map bitch
You don't require a map to find your smell