He was the star and co-creator of Rescue Me, which ended its seventh and final season on September 7, 2011. Leary has starred in many motion pictures, most recently as Captain George Stacy in Marc Webb's 2012 film The Amazing Spider-Man, Cleveland Browns Head Coach Vince Penn in Ivan Reitman's 2014 film Draft Day, and the voice of Diego in the Ice Age franchise. As of 2015, he wrote and has been starring in the comedy series Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll, which premiered on FX on July 16.
Leary has appeared as an actor in more than 40 films, including The Sandlot, as Scott's stepfather Bill, Monument Ave., The Matchmaker, The Ref, Draft Day, Suicide Kings, Dawg, Wag the Dog, Demolition Man, Judgment Night, The Thomas Crown Affair, and Operation Dumbo Drop. He had a tiny part in Oliver Stone's Natural Born Killers which was eventually cut. He held the lead role in two television series, The Job and Rescue Me; he co-created the latter, in which he played Tommy Gavin, a New York City firefighter dealing with alcoholism, family dysfunction and other issues in post-9/11 New York City. He received Emmy Award nominations in 2006 and 2007 for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series for Rescue Me, and in 2008 for Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie for the HBO movie Recount.[19] Leary was offered the role of Dignam in The Departed (2006) but turned it down due to scheduling conflicts with Rescue Me. He provided voices for characters in animated films, such as a fire-breathing dragon named Flame in the series The Agents, a pugnacious ladybug named Francis in A Bug's Life and a prehistoric saber-toothed tiger named Diego in the Ice Age film series. He has produced numerous movies, television shows, and specials through his production company, Apostle; these include Comedy Central's Shorties Watchin' Shorties, the stand-up special Denis Leary's Merry F#$%in' Christmas, and the movie Blow.
As a Boston Red Sox fan, he narrated the official 2004 World Series film (Q Video/MLB Productions, 2004). In 2006, Leary and Lenny Clarke appeared on television during a Red Sox telecast and, upon realizing that Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis is Jewish, delivered a criticism of Mel Gibson's antisemitic comments. As an ice hockey fan, Leary hosted the National Hockey League video NHL's Greatest Goals.[citation needed] In 2003, he was the subject of the Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary.[21]
Leary did the TV voiceover for MLB 2K8 advertisements, where he used his trademark rant style in baseball terms, and ads for the 2009 Ford F-150 pickup truck.[citation needed] He has also appeared in commercials for Hulu and DirecTV's NFL Sunday Ticket package.[citation needed] Leary was a producer of the Fox Broadcasting series Canterbury's Law, and wrote and directed its pilot episode. Canterbury's Law aired in the spring of 2008 and was canceled after eight episodes. On September 9, 2008, Leary hosted the sixth annual Fashion Rocks event, which aired on CBS. In December of the year, he appeared in a video on funnyordie.com critiquing a list of some of his "best" films, titled "Denis Leary Remembers Denis Leary Movies".[22] Also in 2008, Leary voiced a guest role as himself on the "Lost Verizon" episode of The Simpsons.
On March 21, 2009, Leary began the "Rescue Me Comedy Tour" in Atlantic City, New Jersey. The 11-date tour, featuring Rescue Me co-stars Lenny Clarke and Adam Ferrara, was Leary's first stand-up comedy tour in 12 years.[citation needed] The Comedy Central special Douchebags and Donuts, filmed during the tour, debuted on American television January 16, 2011, with a DVD release on January 18, 2011.[23]
He played Captain George Stacy in the movie The Amazing Spider-Man, released in July 2012.[24] He is writing the American adaptation of Sirens.[25]
Leary is one of the executive producers of the documentary BURN, which chronicles the struggles of the Detroit Fire Department. BURN made its debut on April 23, 2012, at the Tribeca Film Festival.[citation needed]
Leary has created a new television series for FX, in which he also stars in the lead role, called Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll. A 10-episode first season has been ordered by FX, which premiered on July 16, 2015.
Coffee
Denis Leary Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I walked into a Starbucks about a year ago, little kid behind the counter. I go, "Yeah, give me a regular." "A regular what?" "Coffee." "What flavor?" "Coffee-flavored coffee." I'll stick that menu right up your ass, kid! Menu... coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup, that's all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup, that's it!
You been to Dunkin' Donuts lately? The last bastion of coffee-flavored coffee? It's gone, forget about it. You walk in there now, there's people wearing berets, they're writing poetry on computers. There's a kid behind the counter, "Would you like a cafe colada?" Fuck no! www.blow-me.com! Cafe colada... what the hell's that about? When I was a kid, Dunkin' Donuts had two things: coffee, and donuts, and that was it! You took the donut, you dunked it in the coffee, thus the fucking title of the place! Dunkiiiin Donuts! That's all they had, donuts and coffee, nothing else. They had no ice, no napkins, no soda, no salt, no pepper... no quaso, NOTHING! You walk in there now, there's soup flyin' around, people are eating finger sandwiches... they got the donuts on display in a case, like relics from a former era, you know? "Here's what we used to serve. We used to fry 'em up and sell 'em by the dozen, back in the seventies." God almighty...
And you can't smoke in any of these coffee places. Can't smoke in Starbucks, can't smoke in Joe Bar, can't smoke in Dunkin'... what the hell is this? I'm pretty sure that coffee was invented by guys who were sittin' around smokin' anyways, right? And they just wanted to drink something that would let them stay up late and smoke fucking more! That's my theory. Just ask me or Columbo, he'll back me up on this one. "Peter Faulk and Denis Leary walked into a Starbucks today and shot twenty-seven people, without any announcement whatsoever."
So about a year ago, working on Long Island, making a movie, I'm driving around in my truck, and I see a 7-Eleven and it dawns on me, "Of course, 7-Eleven! I can get a cup of coffee flavored coffee in 7-Eleven. What could be more basic than the 7-goddamn-Eleven?" I walk in there, sure enough, two big aluminum containers, like the old days, right? One's labeled decaf, the other one has no label, what would you think? I think you would think what I thought. I pour myself a nice cup of coffee, I get up to the counter, go there to pay for it, behind the counter is another eighteen-year-old kid, okay? Head shaved, right? Both ears: pierced, okay. Both nostrils: pierced. Both eyebrows: fucking pierced! Tattoos coming out of his sleeves on both arms, he's got baggy pants on, okay? They start at his knees, and this is all underwear right here, okay? Here's the pants and here's the underwear, there's twenty-seven inches of underwear, what the fuck is that about, okay? Explain it to me! That's one of the most basic rules that we all know about: the underwear goes inside the pants. Not here, not here, not here, INSIDE THE FUCKING PANTS! That's why it's called under-fucking-wear.
I am standing there looking at him, now he starts to talk to me. This is how he talks to me: "Yo man, wassup? Wassup, man?" And he's white! He's waving gang signs at me, "Wassup man," and he's fucking white! He's talking to me like he's a card-carrying member of the Wu Tang Clan. You know what, you're not in the Wu Tang Clan, okay? You're not even in A Tribe Called Quest, asshole! You're in a 7-Eleven, you're eighteen years old, you don't know shit about shit, and pull up your pants!
And, uh, his tongue's hanging out. You know why his tongue is hanging out? Okay? Because there's a five-pound steel stud embedded in the middle of it, that's why! What the fuck is that about? When I was a teenager, I wouldn't get a steel thing put in the middle of my tongue, that's one more thing for your dad to grab ahold of when he's pissed off. "Come here!" "Auugh!" How do you wake up one morning and say, "You know what I'm gonna do today, I'm gonna get a piece of steel shot right through the middle of my tongue. Yeah, I'm gonna pay a big, fat, hairy, sweaty, tattoo guy to do it, too. Then, I'll get a piece of steel shot through my cock. Yeah, that'll be fun, yeah. Then I'm gonna get a metal rod that sticks out of my ass and makes my underwear stick out even further, then I'm gonna get a keychain attached to my balls, so I always know where my keys and my balls are."
So I'm standing there with my coffee, trying to pay for my coffee, he's looking at me... I take my coffee and I leave. I get in the truck, I'm drivin', coffee's in the cupholder, I'm thinking about what a FUCKING retard that kid was! Hopin' my kids don't turn out like that, and all of a sudden I smell maple syrup in my truck, I'm like... Did the kids spill maple syrup in here? And then I realize it's coming from my coffee; somebody spilled maple syrup in my coffee. I go BACK to the 7-goddamn-Eleven, walk in, put the cup on the counter, I go, "Yo. Yo yo yo yo yo. Come here. Come here. Somebody spilled maple syrup in my coffee." "No, that's the flavor of the month, man. That's, uh, maple nut crunch." Maple nut crunch, okay? Maple nut fucking crunch. Are you gonna tell me that Juan Valdez is down in Bogota right now fielding a field full of maple nuts? I don't fucking think so! As a matter of fact, I bet my left maple nut that he's NOT! Pull up your pants!
My mom used to tell me when I was growing up, "Denis, why don't you wake up and smell the coffee." You know what, ma? I did, I smelled my fucking waffles, okay? Why don't you just throw all the breakfast stuff in my coffee? Yeah, put an egg in there, eggaccino, let's go, come on! How about some Cocoa Puffs, puffaccino. Yeah!
Goddamn it!
In Denis Leary's comedic song "Coffee," he criticizes the lack of availability of simple coffee-flavored coffee in modern-day coffee shops. He expresses frustration with the over-complicated menu options that include flavors like mochaccino, chocaccino, frapaccino, and capuccino, suggesting that coffee only needs a cup and saucer. He reminisces about the good old days of Dunkin' Donuts, where there was only coffee and donuts, and you could dunk the latter in the former. The song mentions how coffee places have lost their simplicity, with people writing poetry on computers, soup flying around, and finger sandwiches being served.
Leary also touches on the issue of not being able to smoke in coffee shops, asserting that coffee was invented by smokers and meant for late nights spent smoking. He talks about his habit of drinking two Cokes back-to-back to get a caffeine jolt before he discovered coffee-flavored coffee again at a 7-Eleven. However, he is disappointed to find a teenage employee with piercings, tattoos, and baggy pants that barely cover his underwear. Leary is incredulous at the supposed flavor of maple nut crunch and makes fun of it since maple nuts do not exist. The song ends with Leary's humorous suggestion to add eggs or cocoa puffs to coffee.
Overall, "Coffee" by Denis Leary is a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the overcomplication and loss of simplicity of coffee culture. Leary's lyrics satirize the trendy menu items and eccentric employees of modern coffee shops, while also touching on the lack of freedom to smoke indoors. The song humorously suggests that coffee has lost its authenticity, and we should return to its basic roots.
Line by Line Meaning
So let me ask you this: is it impossible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country?
Denis Leary is expressing his frustration at not being able to easily find regular coffee in coffee shops.
What happened to coffee? Did I miss a fucking meeting with the coffee? Huh? You can get every other flavor except coffee-flavored coffee.
Denis is questioning why coffee shops have moved away from serving basic coffee and instead focusing on a variety of fancy flavors.
They got mochaccino, they got chocaccino, frapaccino, capuccino, rapaccino, alpaccino, WHAT THE FUCK?! www.what-the-fuck.com!
Denis lists several fancy coffee flavors to emphasize how ridiculous it is that regular coffee is no longer the norm.
When I was a kid, Dunkin' Donuts had two things: coffee, and donuts, and that was it!
Denis reminisces about a time when coffee shops served only basic coffee and donuts, without all the other options available today.
You walk in there now, there's soup flyin' around, people are eating finger sandwiches... they got the donuts on display in a case, like relics from a former era, you know?
Denis is exaggerating to make a point about the overly-fancy and diverse offerings available at coffee shops nowadays compared to how simple things used to be.
Can't smoke in Starbucks, can't smoke in Joe Bar, can't smoke in Dunkin'... what the hell is this?
Denis is frustrated that coffee shops no longer allow smoking inside, suggesting that coffee and smoking were historically associated activities.
I'm pretty sure that coffee was invented by guys who were sittin' around smokin' anyways, right?
Denis jokingly suggests that coffee was invented by people who smoked and wanted a drink that would allow them to stay up late and smoke even more.
So I gave it up. In the morning, I would suck down two Cokes, back-to-back, to get that caffeine jolt, right?
Denis gave up coffee and instead relied on sugary Coca-Cola for his morning caffeine fix.
That would be just my luck... 'He just came in here, and he was yelling at me about coffee-flavored coffee, whatever the hell that is. Then he called me a Haiku-writing motherfucker! I'm glad he's dead, I really am.'
Denis imagines a scenario where he would be seen as crazy and aggressive for asking for simple, regular coffee at a coffee shop.
Okay? Here's the pants and here's the underwear, there's twenty-seven inches of underwear, what the fuck is that about, okay? Explain it to me!
Denis is frustrated by how a young, rebellious, and overly-accessorized cashier at a 7-Eleven is dressing and wonders why he's wearing his pants so low that his underwear is exposed.
And, uh, his tongue's hanging out. You know why his tongue is hanging out? Okay? Because there's a five-pound steel stud embedded in the middle of it, that's why!
Denis is outraged that a young person would place a dangerous piece of jewelry in their mouth, suggesting that this is yet another instance of young people needlessly rebelling against social norms.
How do you wake up one morning and say, 'You know what I'm gonna do today, I'm gonna get a piece of steel shot right through the middle of my tongue. Yeah, I'm gonna pay a big, fat, hairy, sweaty, tattoo guy to do it, too.
Denis is incredulous about why anyone would ever put a large metal piece of jewelry in their mouth and pay someone to do it.
I go BACK to the 7-goddamn-Eleven, walk in, put the cup on the counter, I go, 'Yo. Yo yo yo yo yo. Come here. Come here. Somebody spilled maple syrup in my coffee.' 'No, that's the flavor of the month, man. That's, uh, maple nut crunch.'
Denis is infuriated that a coffee shop would put maple syrup in his coffee and then try to pass it off as a new, fancy flavor called 'maple nut crunch.'
My mom used to tell me when I was growing up, 'Denis, why don't you wake up and smell the coffee.' You know what, ma? I did, I smelled my fucking waffles, okay?
Denis jokes about how his mom would tell him to 'wake up and smell the coffee,' but he would instead smell his breakfast of waffles.
How about some Cocoa Puffs, puffaccino. Yeah!
Denis is jokingly suggesting that coffee shops should start adding other breakfast foods, like Cocoa Puffs cereal, to their coffee drinks.
Contributed by Nolan J. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@jaffarebellion292
This takes me right back to the days when you could get comedy-flavored comedy.
@TheRestartPoint
aka Funny Comedy
@DavidTa2
Money.... thats a money comment 😂😂🤙🤙
@johnnyguitar6639
Yeah waaay waaay back when people actually could give fuck about being offended
@kirara2516
Love your username and avatar. SG-1 was an amazing show!
@jaffarebellion292
@@kirara2516 Indeed.
@jasonkraatz5968
When I first heard this skit as a teenager I found this hilarious. 20 years later I sympathize with Dr. Leary.
@wardaddy9910
They should make them losten tk the song "I'm an asshole " !!
@FN_FAL_4_ever
We can all relate once we hit 40
@dsl32
And is got worse Dunkin Dounuts is now just Dunkin🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️