Considered by many at the time as highly offensive, the comic sketches primarily took the form of bizarre, sometime drunken streams of consciousness led by Cook, with interjections from Moore. Memorable moments from the records include Clive claiming that the worst job he ever had was retrieving lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's bum, Derek claiming his worst job was cleaning up Winston Churchill's bogies (leading the pair to conclude that the Titanic was one such bogie), Clive claiming that he was sexually aroused by the sight of a deceased Pope lying in state and a brilliantly staged horse racing 'commentary' featuring horses named after sexual organs or their vulgarised derivatives.
The characters, supposedly two lavatory attendants (although in one sketch, 'Back of the Cab', they play the roles of two London taxi drivers) first surfaced in the mid-seventies. Cook and Moore were touring Broadway with their revue show "Good Evening", a live version of their television series "Not Only... But Also." The relationship between the two had already become strained, as a result of Cook's increasing alcoholism. To reassure Moore, Cook hired out a recording studio in New York, where the two could simply relax, drink and ad-lib. The resulting recording was padded out with live performances of old favorites (such as "Bo Duddley"), and began to circulate as Derek and Clive (Live).
Cook became bemused at the idea that they should not be making money from the increasing popularity of Derek and Clive, and suggested to Moore that the recording should be released officially. By this point, Moore had embarked on a successful film career and found the tapes embarrassing, until he too realised his contemporaries were fans.
A further two records were made. However, they became less like dialogues and more like vindictive attacks on the increasingly successful Moore by Cook, whose career had stalled somewhat in comparison.
These personal attacks culminated in an exasperated Moore eventually walking out of the Ad Nauseam sessions, effectively ending their comedy partnership which had begun nearly twenty years earlier. In one particularly cruel attack, on the "Come Again" record, Cook rants at length about his irritation at his father dying of cancer. He was fully aware that Moore's father was at the time dying of cancer, and that Moore was having a particularly hard time coping with this. Nevertheless, Moore, also fuelled by large quantities of drink, not only happily joins in ad-libbing the "My Mum Song", but is reduced to hysterical laughter by Cook's lyrics.
The same love-hate relationship between them is evident in the Derek and Clive Get the Horn movie, during which Moore withstands brutally vindictive verbal tirades from Cook and walks out in anger, only to return, and have Cook reduce him to helpless laughter again only minutes later. It's often, mistakenly, assumed that all of their releases were recorded while under the influence of alcohol. While this can be presumed of "Come Again" - where the sounds of bottles can be heard in the background and which features some tracks where both Cook and Moore are slurring their words, the videotaped release of "Derek and Clive get the Horn", most of which ended up on "Ad Nauseam", shows a very sober looking Cook and Moore drinking coffee and water throughout, although at one point Cook enquires to his partner, Judy Huxtable, where the J's are to be greeted with the response that "Richard [Branson] has them". During the recording, an organised prank was played upon Cook and Moore where the 'police' arrive and suspiciously sniff the contents of an ash tray to the dismay of the unnerved and wary pair. However, the first record "Derek and Clive" features studio tracks where both Cook and Moore are clearly sober. It's probable that this assumption is derived from the front and back cover of "Come Again" where Cook and Moore are holding drinks and appear to be drunk.
Later taped and CD releases of "Come Again" and "Ad Nauseam" featured out-takes not previously released - most were recorded during the "Ad Nauseam" sessions. Surreal at times, these included "Mother" (featured on "Derek and Clive get the Horn") where Cook pretended to visit his over-possessive and deranged mum, ending with Cook telling Moore to "shut your fucking face and die" after Moore rants on about seeing Cook's "Ticket" - a reference to his penis, "Intergalatic Sex", "Valerie's Hymen", where Moore discussed cutting out his wife's hymen with a carving knife and "Lady Vera Fart Teller" where Moore elaborates on a visit to a fortune teller who could tell his future by examining his "farts". Transcripts of further, unreleased, 'out-takes' are available in a book entitled "Come Again", edited by William Cook and feature "General Eisenhower", where Cook reflects on the perils of counting the late General's dandruff flakes, "Vietnam", where Moore received a paper cut inflicted by the Viet Cong; in one insightful remark Cook mentions a "friend" of his who fought in Vietnam but he's not sure "on which side" and "A Million Pounds", where Cook plays an hysterical woman looking for a million pounds off a sympathetic Moore. The remaining unreleased out-takes are variations on actual releases.
Jump
Derek & Clive Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I saw a house on fire
There was a man, shouting and screaming at an upper-storey window
To the crowd that was gathered there below
For he was sore afraid
Jump! You fucker, jump!
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
He jumped, hit the deck, broke his fucking neck
There was no blanket
Laugh?! We nearly shat!
We had not laughed so much since Grandma died
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Fi-i-ilthy fuckers
Ahhhrrrr-soles
The lyrics of Derek & Clive's Jump Song narrate a strange situation that the singer finds himself in, as he is walking down the street and witnesses a burning house. As he approaches the scene, he sees a man screaming and shouting for help from an upper-storey window. The crowd around is trying to calm him down and instruct him to jump into a blanket they were holding, which they claimed would save him. The man appeared to be under severe mental distress as he was afraid to jump but didn't have much choice left. At this point, the crowd urged him on by chanting, "Jump! You fucker, jump!"
In an abrupt turn of events, the man eventually takes the plunge and jumps from the window. However, instead of landing safely in the blanket below, he ended up hitting the ground and breaking his neck. Contrary to the earlier assurance that everything would be all right, there was no blanket to cushion his fall. The crowd's reaction to the tragedy was downright bizarre, as they broke into uncontrollable laughter, yelling "We nearly shat! We are miserable sinners, filthy fuckers." The lyrics end with the word, "Ahhhrrrr-soles," which captures the grotesque indifference and callousness of the bystanders who laughed at the tragic outcome.
Line by Line Meaning
As I was walking down the street one day
Whilst I was taking a perambulation around the region one day
I saw a house on fire
In my view, a building was burning and ablaze
There was a man, shouting and screaming at an upper-storey window
A gentleman was vociferating and yelling from a window located in the topmost part of the structure
To the crowd that was gathered there below
Addressing the group of individuals who had congregated below his location
For he was sore afraid
Because of his great fear and anxiety
Jump! You fucker, jump!
I implore you to leap out of that opening, you despicable person
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
Make a leap and land on this fabric structure that we are presently grasping
And you will be all right
You will emerge from this situation unscathed
He jumped, hit the deck, broke his fucking neck
He performed the act of jumping, then came into contact with the surface below, resulting in a severe injury to his cervical vertebrae
There was no blanket
Contrary to our prior statements, there was no protective cover available for him to land on
Laugh?! We nearly shat!
We were so overcome with mirthful amusement that we were on the verge of expelling fecal matter from our bowels
We had not laughed so much since Grandma died
We have not experienced such a prolonged bout of laughter since the passing of our grandmother
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
An alternative instance that caused us to burst into uncontrollable laughter was when Auntie Mabel's mammary gland became entangled in the laundry device
We are miserable sinners
As people, we are subject to sin and misery
Fi-i-ilthy fuckers
In addition, our character is morally distasteful and unsavory
Ahhhrrrr-soles
A vocalization expressing one's disdain and disgust for a contemptible person or group of people
Contributed by Maria Y. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@karrot101
we grew up on this and nearly died laughing
@ashjones2627
Laugh? We nearly shat!
@TheDavejmcknight
Me too
@bradthurkle7217
Love these guys . Got there records. Play now and then😝
@charlottebarham7722
the three dislikes were the wife and the kids
@mikeregan3265
The thumbs down is Aunty Mabel's.
@rogeralsop3479
Excellent!
@sodablower
Class! :)
@Gazhole
This doesn't half give me the horn.
@thanxx
Funny AS fuck:)