Bad Habit
Destiny's Child Lyrics


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How many times
Are you gonna apologize
About the same thing
And how many times
Can I take you back
When I'm not the one that's doing wrong
I thought maybe If I started praying
Then we would get better but
When I would pray, the answer would always come
Back to me, being done
But we're so hard headed
When we're in love

So I

I told myself
That I would make some changes
But the more I change
There's one thing that remains the same
I can't seem to shake ya
You seem to really have a hold on me

And every time that we break up
We turn around and make up
This can't go on now
I've gotta move on now
It's not the fact
I love you no more
But I've got to break this bad habit
Can't take this bad habit no more

I'm totally out of my element
I'm learning new ways to live
While you're in a comfort zone
Not even thinkin' (gotta think about me)
To call me when I get mad you buy me gifts
Thinkin' it's gonna solve every issue

From the girl callin' my phone
To the pictures that I saw
And every time you would break up with me
For nothing at all
I've taken all I can take
(I've taken all I can take)
But the way I live has gotta change
Oh

I told myself
That I would make some changes
But the more I change
There's one thing that remains the same
I can't seem to shake ya
You seem to really have a hold on me

And every time that we break up
We turn around and make up
This can't go on now
I've gotta move on now
It's not the fact
I love you no more
But I've got to break this bad habit
Can't take this bad habit no more

And bring it down

Have you ever loved somebody
So much that you was just too blind to see
Oh yes!
All of the pain, that they was causing you (causing you)
Ladies, do you feel me (do you feel me)

Have you ever loved somebody
So much that you went against
The right thing that you should do
Ooh, ooh
Then it's time to make a change (time to make a change)

I told myself
That I would make some changes
But the more I change
There's one thing that remains the same
I can't seem to shake ya
You seem to really have a hold on me

And every time that we break up
We turn around and make up
This can't go on now
I've gotta move on now
It's not the fact
I love you no more




But I've got to break this bad habit
Can't take this bad habit no more

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Destiny's Child's song "Bad Habit" speak to the struggle of being caught in a toxic relationship. The singer wonders how many apologies they can accept for the same mistakes, and how many times they can take their partner back when they are the one causing harm. Despite trying to pray for things to get better, the singer realizes that it's time to move on from the bad habit of returning to this person. The repetition of the phrase "I told myself that I would make some changes, but the more I change there's one thing that remains the same" highlights the difficulty of breaking free from a pattern of behavior, even when you know it's not healthy.


The song also touches on the gendered nature of relationships, with the male partner in the song being described as being in a "comfort zone" and not thinking about how his actions are affecting the singer. The singer has to learn new ways of living while the partner continues to buy gifts as a way to solve problems. The song encourages listeners to recognize when a relationship is causing them pain and to make a change, even when it feels difficult.


Line by Line Meaning

How many times
Asking for the number of times the person has apologized.


Are you gonna apologize
Asking if the person is ever going to apologize again or not.


About the same thing
Asking if the apologies are for the same thing over and over again.


And how many times
Reiterating the first question in a different way.


Can I take you back
Questioning the ability to keep taking the person back.


When I'm not the one that's doing wrong
Mentioning that the other person is the one causing the problem, not the singer.


I thought maybe If I started praying
Trying to solve the problem through prayer.


Then we would get better but
Hoping that the problem would go away through prayer, but that did not happen.


When I would pray, the answer would always come
Saying that while praying, the answer always came back to her ending the relationship.


Back to me, being done
Suggesting the answer is to end the relationship.


But we're so hard headed
Admitting that they are stubborn and difficult to change.


When we're in love
Explaining that being in love can be a complicating factor in getting over the problem.


So I
Starting to discuss what the singer has decided to do.


I told myself
Making a self-promise to change.


That I would make some changes
Deciding to take action and make changes.


But the more I change
Noticing that despite making changes, something remains the same.


There's one thing that remains the same
Identifying that something is constant despite the changes.


I can't seem to shake ya
Acknowledging that the person still has a hold on her despite her efforts to change.


You seem to really have a hold on me
Expressing that the other person has a significant influence on her.


And every time that we break up
Describing how the relationship has been going so far, with repeated breakups.


We turn around and make up
Immediately getting back together after breaking up.


This can't go on now
Deciding that the pattern of breaking up and getting back together cannot continue.


I've gotta move on now
Deciding it is time to move on and not continue the relationship.


It's not the fact
Clarifying that the decision is not due to not loving the person anymore.


I love you no more
Reassuring the person that love is not the issue behind the decision to end the relationship.


But I've got to break this bad habit
Identifying that the relationship is like a bad habit that needs to be broken.


Can't take this bad habit no more
Stressing that the pattern must stop.


I'm totally out of my element
Feeling uncomfortable and out of place in the current situation.


I'm learning new ways to live
Trying to adapt and find new ways to live to overcome the problem.


While you're in a comfort zone
Noticing that the other person is not going through any changes or discomfort.


Not even thinkin' (gotta think about me)
Realizing that the other person is not thinking or considering the singer's feelings and needs.


To call me when I get mad you buy me gifts
Pointing out a gesture done by the other person that does not solve the underlying problem.


Thinkin' it's gonna solve every issue
Highlighting that the other person believes that material things will fix things, even when that is not necessarily the case.


From the girl callin' my phone
Referring to another person, possibly the other person's ex, who keeps calling the singer's phone.


To the pictures that I saw
Describing another issue that the singer has seen or discovered through pictures.


And every time you would break up with me
Continuing to allude to the repeated pattern of breaking up and getting back together.


For nothing at all
Making clear that not much cause was needed for the other person to break up with her.


(I've taken all I can take)
Expressing that the singer has reached her limit in dealing with the situation.


But the way I live has gotta change
Acknowledging that the singer's lifestyle and choices need to alter to overcome the problem.


Have you ever loved somebody
Addressing the audience directly and asking them if they have ever been in a similar situation.


So much that you was just too blind to see
Being so in love that the person is blind to the problem and cannot see how it is affecting them.


All of the pain, that they was causing you (causing you)
Noticing that the other person is causing pain, whether purposeful or not.


Ladies, do you feel me (do you feel me)
Asking for the women in the audience to relate or have similar experiences.


So much that you went against
Being so in love that the person goes against their better judgment or decisions.


The right thing that you should do
Recognizing that the person knows what the right decision is but is unable to follow through.


Then it's time to make a change (time to make a change)
Realizing that it is time to make a change and move on from the relationship.




Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Kelendria Rowland, Solange Knowles, Bryan Cox, Kendrick Dean

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Most interesting comment from YouTube:

Dimepeace201

How many times
Are you gonna apologize
About the same thing
And how many times
Can I take you back
When I'm not the one that's doing wrong
I thought maybe If I started praying
Then we would get better but
When I would pray, the answer would always come
Back to me, being done
But we're so hard headed
When we're in love

So I

I told myself
That I would make some changes
But the more I change
There's one thing that remains the same
I can't seem to shake ya
You seem to really have a hold on me

And every time that we break up
We turn around and make up
This can't go on now
I've gotta move on now
It's not the fact
I love you no more
But I've got to break this bad habit
Can't take this bad habit no more

I'm totally out of my element
I'm learning new ways to live
While you're in a comfort zone
Not even thinkin' (gotta think about me)
To call me when I get mad you buy me gifts
Thinkin' it's gonna solve every issue

From the girl callin' my phone
To the pictures that I saw
And every time you would break up with me
For nothing at all
I've taken all I can take
(I've taken all I can take)
But the way I live has gotta change
Oh

I told myself
That I would make some changes
But the more I change
There's one thing that remains the same
I can't seem to shake ya
You seem to really have a hold on me

And every time that we break up
We turn around and make up
This can't go on now
I've gotta move on now
It's not the fact
I love you no more
But I've got to break this bad habit
Can't take this bad habit no more

And bring it down

Have you ever loved somebody
So much that you was just too blind to see
Oh yes!
All of the pain, that they was causing you (causing you)
Ladies, do you feel me (do you feel me)

Have you ever loved somebody
So much that you went against
The right thing that you should do
Ooh, ooh
Then it's time to make a change (time to make a change)

I told myself
That I would make some changes
But the more I change
There's one thing that remains the same
I can't seem to shake ya
You seem to really have a hold on me

And every time that we break up
We turn around and make up
This can't go on now
I've gotta move on now
It's not the fact
I love you no more
But I've got to break this bad habit
Can't take this bad habit no more



All comments from YouTube:

Silk

“Have you ever loved someone that you couldn’t see all the pain they were causing you?” I will forever love this song ❤️❤️

Andrea Smith

💖🧘🏿‍♀️🧘🏿‍♀️💪🏿

1 More Replies...

Noah The king🤩😎

Kelly's voice is beautiful! Love this song!

Alan Smangaliso Khumalo

If only Kelly Rowland knew how much of a force she is!! Perfection!!!

OndreiaT

This song brings back so many memories!! Falling in love in your 20’s can be rough ... but I developed better habits in my 30s💕💕( I chose to get in the habit of loving me)

April Mavour

Amen 🙌🏾🙌🏾

DrFabulous1

I remember when I heard this song when the album first came out. This song resonated with me because of what I was going through year 3 of being married at 21. We were young, married with a baby with no support yet so much pressure from everyone. This song gave me the courage to leave and I did for a little bit. The pressure of family made us come back together and after 15 years and 3 more kids later we finally divorced after deciding to break our bad habits. I had the revelation that although what God has put together let no man separate, God didn't put us together. We did that...not Him. We got married due to pressure, stayed married due to being pressured, hurt each other because we couldn't take all the pressure and finally divorced despite the pressure. We forgave each other, still have much love for one another. Would you believe we are great friends? We have been each other's support system as we have gone through the post-divorce grieving and pain no one seems to ever talk about and refused any outside influence to make us hate one another. I don't even know why I wrote all of this b/c I usually don't post but hopefully that encourages someone.

Three Spirit

thank you for posting this. its encouragement for people like me who also feel the pressure but also fight it. n this day and age where you are to have all these societal norms, its reassuring

Mr R

The best song on this album. It should have been a single.

TheCoolMom Barbie

Agreed 🤞🏾

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