The Deviates were a punk rock band from South Bay California. They formed i… Read Full Bio ↴The Deviates were a punk rock band from South Bay California. They formed in the winter of 1994 when their members were in their mid-teens and slowly built a following in the South Bay where Pennywise guitarist Fletcher Dragge got interested in them. The band's first album on Theologian Records label was produced by Dragge. They toured for three summers with the Vans Warped Tour before breaking up in 2004.

I Remember
Deviates Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

When I think of my youth, I don't remember you, you weren't there
You didn't care, you still don't care, you never cared if I did, but I don't
It was a dream I had no choice, I couldn't scream I had no voice
To say or do anything, I was all alone and the hate did grow
And I remember what its like to be different, a constant fight, ya, I remember
You couldn't see no you couldn't feel, wake up from the dream just to find its real, yeah I remember
My mind was full of hate, my heart was empty I couldn't take it
It was your choice to leave, I hated you, did you hate me?

A fight for custody, over me, a piece of property, just filled me w/ confusion
Empty thoughts, anger & illusions.
Do you remember me, that whining kid, that crying baby
The hate has evolved, problem solved, you don't exist, its all your fault
Yeah I remember what its like to be a kid, that's not my life

You're nothing to me, you never were, that's pretty lame
I guess that's just the way it goes... but I remember

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Deviates' "I Remember" speaks to the experience of growing up with an absent parent. The singer is recalling their youth and expressing that they don't remember their absent parent, as if they were never there. The parent's lack of care is made clear in the lyrics "you never cared if I did", emphasizing the parent's total disregard for the singer's well-being. The singer feels alone and helpless, unable to communicate their troubles and the hate they feel is growing inside them. The chorus "I remember what it's like to be different, a constant fight" expresses the internal struggle the singer faces, trying to come to terms with their identity while also dealing with the pain of abandonment.

The second verse of the song continues the singer's reflections on their youth. The absence of the parent is felt deeply and causes the singer to feel full of hate and empty of hope: "My mind was full of hate, my heart was empty I couldn't take it." The singer questions the choice the parent made to leave and wonders if the parent hated them as much as the singer hates them. The struggle over custody is mentioned, leaving the singer feeling confused and disillusioned. The song ends with the singer laying blame on the absent parent and declaring that they are nothing to them and that they never were.

Overall, "I Remember" is a poignant song that speaks to the experience of growing up with an absent parent. It expresses the complex emotions that are felt by the singer, from loneliness and confusion to hate and blame.

Line by Line Meaning

When I think of my youth, I don't remember you, you weren't there
I recall my childhood but not you, an absent parent who didn't care.

You didn't care, you still don't care, you never cared if I did, but I don't
As a parent, you never cared about my life and still don't, but I don't care about you either.

It was a dream I had no choice, I couldn't scream I had no voice
I felt trapped in a nightmare even though I had no control and no way to express myself.

To say or do anything, I was all alone and the hate did grow
I was left alone without support, growing increasingly resentful and angry.

And I remember what its like to be different, a constant fight, ya, I remember
I remember what it was like to be different from others and constantly fight to be accepted and understood.

You couldn't see no you couldn't feel, wake up from the dream just to find its real, yeah I remember
You couldn't understand or empathize with my struggles, and I had to face harsh reality without your support, which I still remember.

My mind was full of hate, my heart was empty I couldn't take it
My mind was consumed by hatred, and my heart was a void I couldn't bear.

It was your choice to leave, I hated you, did you hate me?
You chose to leave, and I resented you for it. Did you hate me too?

A fight for custody, over me, a piece of property, just filled me w/ confusion
Our custody battle made me feel like a possession to be fought over rather than a human with feelings.

Empty thoughts, anger & illusions.
I was left with empty thoughts, anger, and false beliefs about what family and love should be.

Do you remember me, that whining kid, that crying baby
Do you remember the helpless child that I once was, always in need of comfort and love?

The hate has evolved, problem solved, you don't exist, its all your fault
My hatred has transformed into detachment, and I blame you for your absence and lack of love.

Yeah I remember what its like to be a kid, that's not my life
I remember what it was like to be a child, but my current life is no longer defined by my childhood experiences.

You're nothing to me, you never were, that's pretty lame
As my absent parent, you've never meant anything to me, and that's a sad truth.

I guess that's just the way it goes... but I remember
I accept that this is just how things turned out, but I cannot forget the past and its impact on my life.

Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: LES DUDEK

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

To comment on or correct specific content, highlight it

TRACKS