Adrian Hates was originally a classically trained guitarist and pianist, and subsequently bassist of Garden of Delight. He initiated the Diary of Dreams project in the late 1980s, taking the name from one of his early classical guitar compositions, 'Tagebuch der Träume'. The first album, 'Cholymelan', appeared in 1994 on the Dion Fortune label.
Encouraged by this success, Adrian formed his own label Accession and released a string of albums over the following years, building a loyal fanbase each step of the way. The second album 'End of Flowers' was released in 1996, expanding on the darkwave sound of the debut. 'Bird Without Wings' followed a year later, whilst the more experimental work 'Psychoma?' arrived in 1998.
The first sign of consolidation came in 1999, when a compilation album 'Moments of Bloom' appeared, containing two reworked tracks from each album. The next two albums 'One of 18 Angels' and 'Freak Perfume' (plus its companion EP 'PaniK Manifesto') made greater use of electronic rhythms, resulting in greater club play and wider recognition for the band.
Their 2004 'Nigredo' (a concept album inspired by a mythology the band designed themselves) saw a move back towards the more subtle, sparse concepts of old, but still featuring bursts of their more recent, dance-oriented sound. Songs from the Nigredo tour were later released on the live CD 'aLive' and the companion DVD 'Nine In Numbers'. The next Diary of Dreams album 'Nekrolog 43' was released in 2007, offering a greater variety of moods and concepts than previous works. Adrian Hates claims to be influenced, both lyric wise and artwork wise, by the German 1909-1935 expressionism and the "beauty of ugliness" in the course of his work.
The ninth album entitled "(if)" was released on March 13, 2009.
Discography
Albums
* Cholymelan (1994) – re-released in 1999 with four bonus tracks
* End of Flowers (1996)
* Bird Without Wings (1997)
* Psychoma (1998)
* Moments of Bloom (1999)
* One of 18 Angels (2000)
* Freak perfume (2002)
* Dream Collector (2003) (originally a limited South African compilation - later given wider release)
* Nigredo (2004)
* Alive (2005) – live album
* Nekrolog 43 (2007)
* (if) (2009)
* Ego:X (2011)
* Dream Collector II (2012)
* the Anatomy of Silence (2012) - acoustic album
* Elegies in Darkness (2014)
* Grau im Licht (2015)
* reLive (2016)
* hell in Eden (2017)
Singles and EPs
* O' Brother Sleep (2001)
* AmoK (2002)
* PaniK Manifesto (2002) – EP/mini-album
* Giftraum (2004)
* Menschfeind (2005) – EP/mini-album
* The Plague (2007)
* King of Nowhere (2009)
DVDs
* Nine in Numbers (2006)
Monsters And Demons
Diary of Dreams Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
What you think that I should.
I'm writing my bible
So you know what I could.
Could you be the one
To abandon my spirits?
Get rid of my blindness
I need to see clearly...
I need to see clearly
For I love you dearly.
My little inferno
And all these illusions
From my total light.
To my infinite fright
Is insanity my friend?
First nail in my hand...
Monsters and demons
Regretful intrigues and
I'm counting the days
As my self-conscience stays...
In this room full of nothing
The fool that I'm painting
While you are the warmth
And the violence I long for...
Rebellious as I am
I sing what I can't feel,
I feel like I'm crying
Still always denying
And constantly craving
For heavenly places
That I couldn't find
In your ignorant faces...
Monsters and demons...
The lyrics of Monsters And Demons by Diary of Dreams delve into themes of self-doubt, longing, and trying to find one's way out of a mental maze. The opening lines convey a sense of confusion and a lack of understanding between the singer and the person they address, as they confess not knowing what the other expects of them. The singer is working on their "bible," a personal manifesto of sorts, in an attempt to communicate what they are truly feeling and thinking. They are seeking clarity and hope that the other person can help them dispel the darkness that obscures their vision.
The chorus emphasizes the central relationship dynamic at play, with the singer expressing their love for someone who they describe as their "little inferno." The illusion that surrounds them pertains to the light that they feel is hindered by their own mental state. The mention of insanity is an indication of how the singer's inner turmoil is affecting them. The line "first nail in my hand" can be interpreted in many ways, but it likely refers to the figurative nails that someone can hammer into their own flesh, causing their own suffering.
The second verse deals with the singer's creative process, which serves as an outlet for their emotions. They are aware that their art is a façade, hiding something deeper and more painful. The singer expresses a longing for something more heavenly, but they admit to not finding it in the faces of others, ultimately leaving them consumed by their own monsters and demons.
Line by Line Meaning
I know that I don't know
I acknowledge that I am not aware of everything
What you think that I should.
I realize that I may not meet your expectations
I'm writing my bible
I am documenting my experiences and thoughts
So you know what I could.
So you may understand my capabilities
Could you be the one
Is it possible for you to be the one?
To abandon my spirits?
To help me overcome my negative emotions?
Get rid of my blindness
Help me see things clearly
I need to see clearly...
I need clarity to progress
For I love you dearly.
My affection for you is deep-rooted
My little inferno
My source of inner warmth and passion
And all these illusions
Things that I have created in my mind
From my total light.
From everything good in me
To my infinite fright
Something that terrifies me to my core
Is insanity my friend?
Am I losing my mind?
First nail in my hand...
A sign of pain and suffering
Monsters and demons
My inner struggles and demons
Regretful intrigues and
Complicated and regretful situations
I'm counting the days
I am waiting for something to change
As my self-conscience stays...
My inner thoughts are still the same
In this room full of nothing
My surroundings are empty and meaningless
The fool that I'm painting
The image of myself that I am portraying
While you are the warmth
You are the source of my comfort
And the violence I long for...
I crave something intense and passionate
Rebellious as I am
I am defiant and disobedient
I sing what I can't feel,
My words do not match my true emotions
I feel like I'm crying
I am in emotional distress
Still always denying
I am refusing to accept something
And constantly craving
I have an unending desire for something
For heavenly places
A better place or state of being
That I couldn't find
I have been searching for but cannot attain
In your ignorant faces...
I cannot find it in the people who do not understand me
Contributed by Xavier M. Suggest a correction in the comments below.