Riboflavin-Flavored Non-Carbonated Polyunsaturated Blood
Don Hinson & The Rigamorticians Lyrics


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When the moon arises in the western sky
And the vampires are out on the sly
At times they have trouble finding necks to bite
That′s why I concocted my new delight

My riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood
His riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood
Drac came to me one night at twelve
And said the blood bank had no blood on the shelf
I explained, "Don't fret, I′ll give you a fix
Of my newly-regenerated mix"

I gave him riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood
He gave him riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood

It gives you quick relief, you see
From fang aches and corpuscle deficiency
And after consuming my laboratory brew
It'll make a new a new vampire of you
It's got corn oil added, only one calorie, polyunsaturated blood

Drac enjoyed my brew without a hitch
Now he′s one of those who′d rather fight than switch
If you're biting more necks, enjoying it less
Try, my new non-carbonatedness
My riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood
His riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood

It helps promote perspiration odor (Riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood)
It puts bad breath in ghouls (Riboflavin-flavored)
Why, our group had twenty-one percent fewer fangs (Non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood)
I gotta tell ya, it makes a great bloody Mary, too (Riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated)




Frank, you oughtta try one of these things (polyunsaturated blood)
Riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood

Overall Meaning

The song "Riboflavin-Flavored Non-Carbonated Polyunsaturated Blood" by Don Hinson & The Rigamorticians is a humorous take on the concept of vampires and how they survive. The lyrics suggest that there are times when vampires have trouble finding "necks to bite," which is a humorous way of saying that they may be running low on blood supply. To solve this problem, the singer of the song has created a new type of blood that is non-carbonated, polyunsaturated, and riboflavin-flavored. The song goes on to describe the benefits of this new blood, including its ability to relieve fang aches and corpuscle deficiencies.


The lyrics of the song also suggest that this new type of blood is so effective that it can even turn the person consuming it into a new vampire. The song is filled with humorous lines, such as "it puts bad breath in ghouls" and "it helps promote perspiration odor." Overall, the song is a lighthearted take on the classic vampire theme and is sure to make listeners chuckle.


Line by Line Meaning

When the moon arises in the western sky
During the night when the moon is visible in the west


And the vampires are out on the sly
When vampires are active and secretive during night time


At times they have trouble finding necks to bite
Sometimes vampires struggle to find the right victim to feed on


That′s why I concocted my new delight
This is why I created my new invention


My riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood
This is my newly created blood substitute which is low in calories, free from bubbles and rich in vitamins


Drac came to me one night at twelve
Dracula visited me at midnight


And said the blood bank had no blood on the shelf
Dracula was unable to find any blood in the blood bank


I explained, "Don't fret, I′ll give you a fix
I assured Dracula that I have a solution to his problem


Of my newly-regenerated mix"
This was my newly created blood substitute


It gives you quick relief, you see
My blood substitute provides rapid relief


From fang aches and corpuscle deficiency
It can cure pain from sharp teeth and provide blood cells


And after consuming my laboratory brew
Dracula drank my laboratory invention


It'll make a new a new vampire of you
This substance has the ability to create new vampires


It's got corn oil added, only one calorie, polyunsaturated blood
The blood substitute contains corn oil and is low in calories and rich in vitamins


Drac enjoyed my brew without a hitch
Dracula consumed my invention without any issues


Now he′s one of those who′d rather fight than switch
Dracula is now aggressive and does not want to switch to other blood substitutes


If you're biting more necks, enjoying it less
If you're losing interest in biting necks, try my blood substitute


Try, my new non-carbonatedness
Give my new low-calorie drink a chance


It helps promote perspiration odor (Riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood)
This drink generates sweat with a unique taste


It puts bad breath in ghouls (Riboflavin-flavored)
This drink can cause ghouls to have bad breath


Why, our group had twenty-one percent fewer fangs (Non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood)
Our group of vampires who drank this blood substitute had fewer sharp teeth


I gotta tell ya, it makes a great bloody Mary, too (Riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated)
This drink can also be used to make Bloody Mary cocktail


Frank, you oughtta try one of these things (polyunsaturated blood)
Frank should definitely try this low-calorie blood substitute


Riboflavin-flavored, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood
This is the name of my newly created blood substitute




Writer(s): V. Mutulo

Contributed by Logan S. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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