Grandma's Killer Fruitcake
Dr. Elmo Lyrics


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The holidays were upon us,
And things were going fine
Til the day I heard the doorbell
And a chill ran up my spine
I grabbed the wife and children
As the postman wheeled it in
A yearly Christmas nightmare,
Has just come back again

It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky,
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky,
One's enough to get the whole state of
Kentucky a great big belly ache
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys,
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky,
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque,

Grandma's killer fruitcake

Now, I had to swallow some marginal fare
At our famiy feast
I even downed Aunt Possum Pie
Just to keep the family peace
I winced at Wilma's Gizzard Mousse
But said it tasted fine

But, that lethal weapon Grandma baked
Is where I drawn the line

It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky,
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky,
One's enough to get the whole state of
Kentucky a great big belly ache
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys,
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky,




Drier than a drought in Albuquerque,
Grandma's killer fruitcake

Overall Meaning

In Dr. Elmo's song "Grandma's Killer Fruitcake," the lyrics depict the singer's experience during the holiday season. At first, everything seemed to be going well until the doorbell rang, and the postman delivered a package that gave the singer a sense of unease. This package turns out to be Grandma's yearly Christmas fruitcake, which the singer describes as a "Christmas nightmare."


The lyrics go on to describe the fruitcake in exaggerated terms, emphasizing its unpleasant qualities. It is portrayed as being harder than the head of Uncle Bucky, heavy like a sermon from Preacher Lucky, and denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys. It is also described as being tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky and dryer than a drought in Albuquerque. The singer expresses his reluctance to consume the fruitcake, even going so far as to endure other unappetizing dishes at the family feast to avoid Grandma's creation.


Overall, the lyrics of "Grandma's Killer Fruitcake" highlight the humor and exaggerated dread associated with receiving an unwanted fruitcake during the holiday season. The song pokes fun at the tradition of fruitcake-gifting, portraying Grandma's fruitcake as a culinary challenge that is both feared and avoided.




Writer(s): Elmo Shropshire, Rita Abrams

Contributed by Violet S. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Most interesting comment from YouTube:

@cadetp4939

The holidays were upon us and things were goin' fine

Till the day I heard the doorbell and a chill ran up my spine.
I grabbed the wife and children as the postman wheeled it in;
A yearly Christmas nightmare had just come back again.

It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky,
Heavy as a sermon from Preacher Lucky,
One's enough to give the whole state of Kentucky a great big belly ache!
It was denser than a drove of barnyard turkeys;
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerkey;
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque;
Grandma's Killer Fruitcake!

Now I had to swallow some marginal fare at the family feast
I even downed Aunt Dolly's possum pie just to keep the family peace
I winced at Wilma's gizzard mousse but said it tasted fine.
But the lethal weapon Grandma baked is where I draw the line Chorus

(key change)
It's early Christmas mornin'; the phone rings us awake.
It's Grandma, Pa, she wants to know... how we liked the cake?
Well, Grandma, I never... we couldn't... it was unbelievable, that's for sure!
What's that you say? Oh, no Grandma, please!
Don't send us anymore! Chorus



All comments from YouTube:

@sazzy6264

I remember singing this in my school holiday concert in first grade. I still don't know how I remember all the lyrics. Probably because it's as funny to me now as it was then!

@kuroarimiyazaki4628

Omg same

@lindseysavvy

You guys, this is the best Christmas song of ALL TIME. Except for 'Grandpa's Gonna Sue The Pants Off Of Santa'...Dr. Elmo is my hero. No lie.

@freewolf317

youtube has not deleted this video yet because they fear that if they do they will find grandma's fruitcake on their door step!

@gaminganimate4442

Lol

@mxgross

I'm not too fond of fruit cake myself, but that's not why I like this song. I like it because its so funny, that whole family being forced to put up with Grandma's fruit cake recipe and pretending to like it.

@guardianangel9517

I LOVE your music! It brings joy and laughter into Christmas โค๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’™๐ŸŽ„โญ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ
THANK YOU!

@Silentchap

Because, Chris, like many tasty things, there are folks out there who can make them into things that make the creature from the black lagoon look friendly. If you see marshmallows on a fruitcake, watch out. If the cake blunts the knife you use to cut it, get away quick. And if someone drops a piece and it cracks the floor, don't stop to pack.

@jenniferphipps2012

And if someone tries to eat a Fruitcake, even if the Fruitcake is rotten, hit the deck and run for your life.

@DarkMagickan

I love this song. It's a classic.

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