Hollyhoodrats
Dumbfoundead Lyrics

First of all, I go to Dr. Dorfman.
I started this off by getting a nose job from Dr. Dorfman

He totally messes up my nose job
But the nose job didn't turn out how I wanted

I ask him to make me look like Gwyneth Paltrow
I wanted to look like Gwyneth Paltrow

I get off the surgery table looking like freakin' Shrek!
But I ended up looking like Shrek instead

Oooh, she came to L.A. with big dreams
Talking about a girl who came to LA with a big dream

Bright lights, and big screens
She dreamed of being a movie star in Hollywood

She wanted us to buy some mixed drinks
She wanted us to buy her some drinks

The bitch thinks not a drop of her shit stinks
She thinks she's better than everyone else

What would you do for a role on a hit show?
Asking what someone would do to get a role on a popular TV show

Go on the strip pole?
Asking if they would become a stripper

Let both of your tits show?
Asking if they would show their breasts

I got a cousin up at HBO
Saying I have a relative who works at HBO

I'll give you his name and number for felatio
Offering to give their number in exchange for oral sex

It was all a dream, flipping through people's magazine
Talking about someone who dreams of being famous

Critiquing celebrities and their inadequacies
And criticizing other famous people

She puffs a cigarette for lunch, and then goes tanning at 3
The girl smokes and tans every day

She's getting acting jobs sleeping with her manager Steve
She's sleeping with her manager to get roles

She goes to auditions hoping that she really gets that spot
She's going to auditions in hopes of getting a part

But she doesn't so she drowns her sorrows in wheat grass shots
But when she doesn't get a role, she drinks wheatgrass shots to make herself feel better

Goes to motivational seminars, and bars with big name stars
She goes to seminars and bars in hopes of meeting famous people

Using her daddy's credit card, thinking she's living large
She spends her father's money thinking she's living a glamorous life

Reality is she ain't got a quarter to her name
In reality, she's broke

Just an eating disorder, you should just forfeit out the game
She has an eating disorder and should give up on her dream

Girl, give up your acting career and go back to your parent's house
Suggesting that she should move back home and give up on her acting career

Or put out a few sex tapes that nobody will hear about
Or make some sex tapes that won't become popular

What would you do to walk on the red carpet?
Asking what someone would do to walk on the red carpet

Jerk off the security guard that guards it?
Asking if they would perform sexual acts on a security guard to get on the red carpet

She came to C.A. to be made, but ended up in a 3-way just to get a job as a P.A.
Talking about a girl who had a threesome to get a job

Celebrity fashion she's steadily trying to duplicate
She's trying to dress like a celebrity

Dressin' like a Hilton but she's staying at the super-rate
She's trying to look fancy like Paris Hilton, but she's staying at a cheap hotel

Cheap boob job, got the sides of 'em ripplin'
She got a cheap boob job that didn't turn out well

You can see multiple scalpel wounds in her nipple skin
You can see scars on her nipples from the surgery

She be trippin' when she don't get the part
She gets upset when she doesn't get a role

But it isn't in her art to be knowing the art
She doesn't know much about acting

She never acted in her life she was hoping to start from the top
She's never acted before, but wanted to start at the top

"Fuck drama class, mama says I've got Pizzaz!"
She thinks she's a natural talent without needing drama classes

And the "It" factor, but reality's a bitch and the shit smacked her dead in her face
She thought she had the "It" factor, but in reality, she didn't

You'll never be chased by paparazzi honey
Saying that she'll never be famous enough to be followed by paparazzi

And I ain't got a dime on your kamikaze money
Saying that they won't invest any money in her future

What would you do for a part in a movie?
Asking what someone would do to get a role in a movie

Swallow a roofie? Offer a (?)
Asking if they would drug themselves or offer something in exchange for a role

My uncle casted all of Spielberg's hits
Saying their uncle casted all of Steven Spielberg's successful movies

I'll give you his card if you let me feel your tits
Offering to give someone their uncle's info in exchange for feeling their breasts

Yogurt and yoga mats, who you foolin' with all of that?
Saying that someone isn't really as healthy as they claim to be

The pilot's been cancelled, the casting agent ain't calling back
Saying that they haven't had any success getting roles

She's reading "The Secret" hoping to be in the dealers
She's reading a self-help book in hopes of making it big

Cruising the streets in her Prius
She drives a Prius

Thinking that she's an elitest
She thinks she's better than everyone else

A member of P.E.T.A, but she rocking that leather and cheeta
She's a member of P.E.T.A., but wears leather and cheetah print

She's a 3 on the meter but she thinks that she is a diva
Saying she's not that great, but thinks she's a superstar

Drinking only bottled water that she can't even pronounce
She drinks expensive water she can't even pronounce

Hoping to be followed by paparazzi leaving her house
She wants to be famous enough to be followed by paparazzi

Dreaming 'bout getting eaten out by a celebrity with some (?) Brad Pitt dick deep in her mouth
Saying that she fantasizes about being with a famous person

She's thinking if it ever happens and her needle gets out
She's thinking if by chance she has sex with a celebrity

Poke a hole in the condom, hoping semen comes out
She would poke a hole in the condom in hopes of getting pregnant by a celebrity

Cause maybe if she had that other mouth to feed in her house
Thinking that having a child with a celebrity would guarantee fame

Maybe he'd be her spouse. She'd be the Angelena Jolie of "two thousand-whatever year that took place in"
Thinking that getting pregnant would lead to marriage and comparisons to Angelina Jolie

You ain't clever dear, you've just got a good imagination
Saying that she's not really clever, she just has a big imagination