So Many Nights
E-Town Concrete Lyrics

So many nights I prayed
I continuously hoped that the violence and abuse would stop

That this would just stop,
I wished that the cycle of violence would come to an end

I woke out of my sleep from
I was abruptly awakened by

A sound of a popped lock
The sound of someone breaking in

My heart would drop to the ground
I would feel frightened and hopeless

Maybe the fact that my pops wasn't around
The absence of my father

Forced you to found these guys
Led you to associate with these people

That would just knock you down
Who would assault or harm you

Or beat you around.
Or physically abuse you

I don't know.
I am uncertain

My innocence was lost back then,
I was no longer naive and pure

Not to be found.
And could never be restored

And in a sense it's like this world
It feels like the world

Was just weighing me down,
Was burdening me

Leaning its weight hard on my shoulders,
Putting a heavy load on my shoulders

Making my heart less warm and much more colder,
Hardening my heart and making me colder

A chip off my tooth and a chip on my shoulder.
It made me angrier and more combative

I told y'all that I don't play,
I warned you that I don't mess around

I've seen that drama every goddamned day.
I witness the violence and chaos constantly

So go ahead, yap away,
You can talk all you want

'cause now you got a lot to say.
But now you have plenty to say about me

Cast your judgements,
Go ahead and judge me

Cast all your stones.
Throw all the insults and criticism you want

Holding my hand, holding on
Holding onto what little I have

To everything I have
To everything I possess

'cause it's slipping away so fast.
Because I'm losing it so quickly

I was like six then,
I was only six years old

We ain't have a pot to piss in,
We were very poor

While most kids lives consist of shine
While most kids have happy and carefree lives

And glisten,
Filled with joy and light

Mine was lined with mischief.
But mine was filled with trouble and chaos

A boy flipping, devoid of times
A boy in turmoil, lacking in positive experiences

You find joy in reminiscing.
People find happiness in reflecting on positive memories

It's like time was missing,
It seems like time was stolen from me

Years was passing,
Years were going by

I was inside while kids
I was stuck inside while other kids

Was outside laughing.
Were outside having fun and enjoying life

No time for games,
I never had time for fun and games

Their fake toy planes was crashing
Their pretend airplanes would 'crash'

While me?
But for me?

My life was crashing.
My life was spiraling out of control

At night fist fights left
Violent fights broke out at night

My mom's face smashed in,
My mother would be beaten and bruised

Her ass blasted,
She would be badly beaten

Threw her down a flight of stairs,
My father would throw her down a staircase

Alone and scared I stared
I watched helplessly, feeling afraid and alone

At eyes of a man who didn't care,
While my father showed no compassion or remorse

My father was never there.
He was never present, neither physically nor emotionally

Now I am prepared for this lifetime that's unfair.
Now I am ready to face a life that is unjust and cruel

This life I fight from the bottom to the top.
I struggle and fight my way to the top, starting from the very bottom

This life I had to fight for all that I got.
Everything I achieved, I had to earn through hard work and determination

It hurts but I still won't stop till my casket drops.
Even though it's painful, I will keep going until the day I die