Trying
ESAE Lyrics

They say everyone's worried about me
People express concern for me, but I do not believe they truly understand what I am going through.

Just enough to check-in
They offer support sporadically, without diving deep into my situation.

And make sure that the knives are out of reach
They ensure that I cannot access anything that may be used to harm myself.

They say that I should hold on
They suggest that I should not give up or succumb to hopelessness.

To what?
I am unsure of what specifically I should hold onto in order to persevere.

I don't know but I'm trying, I don't think it's enough
I am making an effort to keep going, but I do not feel that this is adequate to overcome my challenges.

Everybody hurts sometimes
Pain is a universal human experience that affects all of us at some point in our lives.

But I feel like I'm like this all the time
However, I feel as though I am in a constant state of emotional pain and struggle.

I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying my best
Despite the difficulties I am facing, I am making a sincere effort to persevere and overcome these obstacles.

To stop these monsters from yelling inside my head
I am attempting to silence the negative and self-defeating thoughts that plague my mind.

I'm trying but nothing stops this from happening
Despite my best efforts, I have yet to find a way to completely put an end to the inner turmoil I experience.

You're lying you're lying you're lying to me
I am convinced that others are not being truthful when they offer reassurance or words of encouragement.

And I don't think anyone cares if breathe my very last breath
I feel as though those around me would not be affected or hurt if I were to pass away.

Human condition is to feel so abandoned
One of the fundamental aspects of being human is experiencing feelings of isolation and neglect.

Hypocrisy, lament, the lack of compassion
I observe that society can exhibit contradictory behavior, anguish, and a general insensitivity to the pain of others.

But who am I to point fingers
Instead of criticizing others, I realize that it is more constructive to focus on my own shortcomings.

I'm blind to my sin, an endless reaction
I am unable to recognize my own faults and can only react reflexively to my environment.

This is a letter from you to me
These lyrics are a message from my subconscious to my conscious self.

My pride's death, I wrote the eulogy
I take responsibility for the death of my ego and self-esteem, and have composed a eulogy for them.

My lyrics are nervous, melodies worthless
I feel insecure and uncertain about my musical compositions, and worry that they hold no real meaning or value.

And I don't know why I do this
I am uncertain about what motivates me to create music and express myself in this way.

Here I go here I go
I am preparing to leave my current situation and venture into the unknown.

I don't think I can stay
I am feeling overwhelmed and believe that I cannot continue in my present circumstances any longer.

Found my wings to fly away
I have discovered the courage and strength to move on from my struggles and embark on a new journey.

As I step into the air, the air
I am literally and metaphorically rising above my current troubles and breaking free from the constraints that hold me down.

I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired of me
I am exhausted by my own internal struggles and wish to leave them behind.

I'm tired of looking for dreams I can't see
I am disillusioned and have lost hope in pursuing goals that are unclear or that may not exist.

Goodbye goodbye goodbye
I am bidding farewell to my past struggles and embracing a new chapter in my life.

I'm tired of finding my way back home
I am worn out from repeatedly having to return to a state of emotional turmoil and pain.

It's me and the moon in the darkness alone
I feel as though I am isolated from others and am navigating my struggles alone, with only the celestial bodies for company.