Find Yourself
Eligh Lyrics

He was a child of the 80's
The persona was born in the 1980s

Used to bat his eyelashes smile at the ladies
The persona used to flirt with girls when younger

Sit a [?] round single file like a crazy
The persona was a little eccentric and unfocused at times

Boy with a small frame parents called him lazy
The persona was seen as lazy by his parents due to his smaller physical appearance

Used to entertain himself his drawings were amazing
The persona used to draw for amusement and he was quite talented at it

Come up in the backyard trees for a gazing
The persona would gaze at the skies from his backyard

At the skies over Echo Park a live education
The persona learned from observing the environment of Echo Park

Gunshots blazin he would hide in his [?]
During gunshots, the persona would hide in something (possibly in his imagination)

Called imagination he would rise to occasion
The persona would use his imagination to overcome challenging situations

When it involved his interest and pride with no patience
The persona would work hard when it was something he was interested in, but he lacked patience

Kid couldn't wait used to steal what he wanted
The persona lacked patience and would steal what he wanted

Learned Karma quick he could feel when he fronted
The persona soon realized the consequences of his actions and their impact on his future

Didn't feel good but he wanted to part of
The persona was aware that what he was doing was wrong, but he wanted to be a part of it anyway

Didn't know behavior like this would be the start of
The persona did not know that his behavior would lead him to trouble in the future

Low self-esteem and a dream deferred
The persona had low self-esteem and put his dreams aside

Started makin stories didn't mean the word
The persona began creating stories but didn't fully believe in them

Writing became the art that he preferred
The persona found solace in writing and it became his preferred form of art

He liked to assemble manipulate verbs
The persona enjoyed putting together and changing words

He was shy and sprung
The persona was shy, but he had a crush on someone

Got took advantage of and didn't mind once
The persona was taken advantage of but didn't seem to mind

Just a little boy feelin hurt like a man
The persona felt hurt like an adult, although he was still a young boy

Played like a toy violin in her hand
The persona felt like a toy in his crush's hand

Mom used to take him to buy them some gifts
The persona's mother would take him to buy gifts for his crush

Never once got him a kiss on the lips
Despite buying gifts, the persona never received a kiss on the lips from his crush

Homie got smashed on the floor when they dissed
The persona's friend got beaten up when someone disrespect them

He liked girls young and he didn't know why
The persona was attracted to young girls but did not understand why

Couldn't know himself yet couldn't even try...
The persona did not fully understand himself and was unable to explore himself

Teenager of the 90's
The persona was a teenager in the 1990s

Talent getting bigger but self-esteem tiny
As the persona's talent grew, his self-esteem remained low

Found himself a little, squad or brigade
The persona found a group of friends he identified with

Odd man out on the quad in the shade
The persona was the outsider within his friend group, often left out of activities

Started growin dreads cause he wanted to be different
The persona decided to grow dreadlocks as a way of standing out

Didn't give a shit about the classes he was missin
The persona did not care about missing classes

Sprung on a bad girl tension on a mission
The persona was infatuated with a problematic girl

Life in peril on the path of addiction
The persona's life was at risk due to his growing addiction

Started smokin cigarettes and weed out in [?]
The persona started smoking cigarettes and weed, possibly outside his school

Walkman bumpin didn't think he needed to listen
The persona walked around with a music player, not caring to listen to others

To the teachers who gave him a ride home after school
The teachers who gave him rides home after school tried to communicate with him

Tried to talk to him he was actin like a fool
The persona did not listen to the teachers and behaved foolishly

Wanted to be cool didn't want to be a mule
The persona wanted to be perceived as cool and didn't want to be seen as a pushover

All around wuss gettin told what to do
The persona was seen as weak and was told what to do by others

Stupid young dude with his nuts in a vice
The persona was a foolish, young person, entrapped within his own decisions

Ended up having death threats on his life
The persona received threats to his life due to his behavior

Fuckin homies girlfriends never felt worse
The persona engaged in sexual activity with his friends' girlfriends, which led to regret

So he dropped out of school started drinkin and at first
To avoid his problems, the persona dropped out of school and began drinking

It was fun felt good he was brave writed fast
Drinking felt good, and he was writing quicker, possibly as a result of the alcohol

Rapped on a crew in a cabin in a path
The persona started rapping with a group in a cabin

Livin in a studio not makin any cash
The persona was living in a studio and not making any money

Mom kicked him out straight dumped on his ass
The persona's mother kicked him out of their home

Smoking weed all day 16 on a fast
The persona was smoking weed all day and his life was moving quickly

Track to the grave couldn't know himself yet
The persona's path in life was dangerous, and he still did not understand himself

Now it's 96
The story continues in the year 1996

Started puttin acid on his tongue to take a trip
The persona started to use acid as a way to experience a trip-like high

Made his first tape home made made a trip
The persona made his first homemade music tape while on a trip

Was the hustle he was taught by his homies on the strip
The persona was taught music hustle tactics by his friends on the streets

Telegraph laugh had a vibe you could feel
Telegraph had a special feeling, which could be sensed

Long island iced teas to survive with the steel
To survive, the persona drank Long Island Iced Tea and possibly used some sort of weapon

In his hand on the stage he was scared to be real
On stage, the persona was scared to be his true self

[?] with a page he would hide on the field
The persona was possibly hiding behind a page and writing on the field

On the stage no yield
On stage, the persona would not back down

Started poppin ecstasy beginning of the pills
The persona started using ecstasy, the beginning of his pill usage

Killin of his energy it mentally appealed
The persona was attracted to the mental appeal of ecstasy, despite its draining effects on his body

They were all experimenting but he thought he was healed
Although it was experimentation, the persona thought he had found a solution

Travelin the world in and out of any girl
The persona was traveling the world and engaging with countless women

Livin like a rockstar at home he would curl
Even though he was living like a rockstar, at home, the persona would curl up

In a ball on the floor could he fall any further
The persona felt like he couldn't fall any further down

Hell yeah heroin called and he heard emmm
Heroin called, and the persona was drawn to it

Now he didn't give a fuck
At this point, the persona did not care about anything

Wasn't makin music cause he didn't give a fuck
The persona had stopped making music because he did not care

Had to get a fix or his body would be stuck
To avoid withdrawal symptoms, the persona had to use heroin

More than down on his luck to the drug he was enslaved
The persona was addicted to drugs and had lost control

Didn't give a damn what his friends say
The persona did not care about what his friends were telling him

Wanted to be done so he bowed to the sensai
The persona wanted to be done with drugs, so he sought out a mentor

Surrendering rendering faith
By surrendering himself, the persona found faith

Found himself a program to pay for the dates
The persona joined a treatment program to find and pay for dates

Did his first show that was free of the drank
The persona performed his first show while being sober

Felt so proud self-esteem in the tank
Performing sober made the persona proud, but his self-esteem was still low

3 years later putted music in the bank
Three years later, the persona was finally making money through his music

Tryin to make due for the God that he thanks
The persona put in work to support his beliefs and show gratitude

Went through hell and he didn't know why
The persona had gone through a lot of hardship without fully understanding why

Couldn't know himself yet now he's gonna try...
Despite his struggles, now the persona is willing to try to understand himself better