Pitseleh
Elliott Smith (album) Lyrics

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I'll tell you why I
Don't wanna know where you are
I gotta joke I've been dying to tell you
Silent kid is looking
Down the barrel
To make the noise that I kept so quiet
Kept it from you, Pitseleh

I'm not what's missing
From your life now
I could never be the puzzle pieces
They say that God makes problems
Just to see what you can stand
Before you do as the Devil pleases
Give up the thing you love

But no one deserves it

The first time I saw you
I knew it would never last
I'm not half what I wish I was
I'm so angry
I don't think it'll ever pass

And I was bad news for you just because
I never meant to hurt you

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Pitseleh suggest that the singer is struggling with their own feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness in a relationship. They don't want to know where their partner is because they are afraid of what they might find out. The singer has been keeping a joke from their partner, perhaps an attempt to keep things lighthearted and avoid being vulnerable. However, the "silent kid" inside them is looking down the barrel, indicating that they are reaching a breaking point. They have been keeping a secret from their partner, possibly the fact that they are not the missing piece in their partner's life, and could never be.

The singer seems to have a fatalistic view of life as God making problems just to see how much people can handle before giving up on what they love. He suggests that the Devil is there to tempt people to give up on what they love. The singer seems to have a sense of self-awareness that they are not the best thing for their partner. When they first met, they knew it would never last, even though they wish they could have been. The singer is angry, perhaps with themselves for not being enough for their partner or with their partner for choosing them despite knowing they were bad news. They didn't mean to hurt their partner, but they feel like they inevitably did.

Line by Line Meaning

I'll tell you why I
I want to explain why I

Don't wanna know where you are
I don't care about your whereabouts

I gotta joke I've been dying to tell you
I want to share a joke I've been waiting to tell you

Silent kid is looking
A quiet person is watching

Down the barrel
Through the tube of a gun

To make the noise that I kept so quiet
To make a loud sound that I had been keeping hidden

Kept it from you, Pitseleh
I hid this from you, Pitseleh

I'm not what's missing
I am not the solution to what's missing

From your life now
From your present life

I could never be the puzzle pieces
I cannot complete the puzzle of your life

They say that God makes problems
It's said that God creates issues