At the young age of 17, Ellise graduated from high school two years early and moved to Los Angeles to pursue her dreams of becoming a professional singer and recording artist. The process, however, was not an easy one. In order to graduate at the end of her sophomore year, Ellise was required to double up on classes for two years, and complete a lengthy exam which determined whether she would be able to continue on with her dream, or spend another year in high school before being able to graduate. Once she got the positive test results back over the summer, she was beyond excited to start her transition to Los Angeles.
Once in LA, Ellise decided to start posting covers on her YouTube channel in order to utilize her voice and have it out in the open for people to hear. Her first cover, “Hello” by Adele, gained immediate attention, as did her weekly covers following which included covers of Justin Bieber’s “Love Yourself”, Zayn Malik’s “Pillow Talk”, Adele’s “Hello” and more. Her Youtube channel quickly began to grow, bringing her fans who loved her purely for her voice. She created her YouTube channel in November of 2015, and quickly reached over 9,000 subscribers, and is grateful for each and every one.
Since moving in October, Ellise has been solely focused on one thing: music. She began the year writing with Grammy Award Winning Producer, Chris Seefried (Lana Del Rey, Andra Day and Fitz & the Tantrums) for Uproxx & Honda Stage’s “Uncharted”. The duo wrote and produced her first original single, “Breakdown”, which can be seen on the Uproxx website as well as sites such as Complex.com, Honda’s Facebook page and more. She spent the next 6 months in the studio recording her now scrapped EP release, before releasing the first single from the EP, titled “Dominoes”, in June 2016.
Following this, starting in 2018, she independently released music, releasing a string of single, each with music videos, showing her creative drive and talent, leading up to her debut extended play, "Can You Keep a Secret?" The opening track from the Halloween EP, "911", trended, become Ellise's biggest song. After this, she continued to release independently with her new darker pop sound, releasing another few singles before in October of 2019, releasing her sophomore Halloween extended play, "Under My Bed".
Through all of 2020, she spent lockdown productively working on her debut studio album, "Chaotic", releasing the first single - "Bubblegum Brain", a punchy vibrant pop song with contrastingly dark lyrics - early 2021, followed by the next single, "Feeling Something Bad...", taking a more experimental tone as Ellise (and the album's executive producer, Micah Gordon) experiment with pitched vocals and a stranger sound. It was followed by the album's last single, "Over Breakfast", an introspective sad song, stripped back to just Ellise calling for one last night with her soon-to-be-ex, accompanied by only an acoustic guitar. After this, "Chaotic" was released, with a live show to accompany it, and a deluxe edition planned, along with a video for one of the album's standout tracks, "Bruises".
Nightmares
Ellise Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
So sick of thinking
Of all the things you need from me
Who you think that I should be
Itching
To feel you with me
But I can′t do that to myself
Touch so soft, but where's the kill?
I wanna look past it
′Cause you're such a habit
But I'm made out of glass and
Some wounds you just can′t lick
The crimes that you have committed
You hold them against me
Some nights
Without you, I can′t dream
So now, I see you in my nightmares
Or not at all
All by myself, drowning in my tears
It's just the cost
Of keeping you alive inside my brain
I know it′s strange
I'm dealing with the pain
I′m having nightmares
Nightmares
And you're to blame
Crawling
I know you′re calling
Your number on my shattered screen
Type your name my fingers bleed
I wanna look past this
Developed a habit
'Cause I'm made out of glass and
Some wounds you just can′t fix
The lies you′ve told me have damaged
My heart and I'm manic
Tonight, I′m sleeping in panic
So now, I see you in my nightmares
Or not at all
All by myself, drowning in my tears
It's just the cost
Of keeping you alive inside my brain
I know it′s strange
I'm dealing with the pain
I′m having nightmares
Nightmares
And you're to blame
So now, I see you in my nightmares
Or not at all
All by myself drowning in my tears
It's just the cost
Of keeping you alive inside my brain
I know it′s strange
I′m dealing with the pain
I'm having nightmares
Nightmares
And you′re to blame
The song "Nightmares" by Ellise talks about the intense emotional struggle of a toxic relationship that one can't seem to let go of. The lyrics reveal the inner turmoil of a person who is so deeply rooted in someone else that it's giving them nothing but sleepless nights and depression. The opening lines, "Sinking, so sick of thinking, all the things you need from me, who you think that I should be," reveal how the relationship is slowly drowning them and making them lose their identity. The person is itching to feel the other person near but understands that giving in to them will cause more pain.
Ellise then paints a picture of the haunting memories that keep the dreamer awake at night. The lines "the lies you've told me have damaged my heart and I'm manic, tonight, I'm sleeping in panic" aptly describe the kind of intense emotional pain that one feels in a relationship that is built on lies and manipulation. Through the song, Ellise asserts that even though the person might continue to haunt them, they are ready to embrace the pain and are slowly learning to deal with it.
Overall, the lyrics of "Nightmares" are a captivating portrayal of a painful, complicated, and complex relationship that one can't seem to let go of. It's a story of a person who is determined to move on but is stuck in the past.
Line by Line Meaning
Sinking
Feeling overwhelmed and helpless
So sick of thinking
Tired of ruminating over things
Of all the things you need from me
Feeling pressured to meet someone else's expectations
Who you think that I should be
Feeling inadequate and unsure of oneself
Itching
Craving for something or someone
To feel you with me
Desiring physical connection with someone
But I can't do that to myself
Recognizing the harm of engaging in a harmful relationship
Touch so soft, but where's the kill?
Suspecting that someone is not sincere or genuine
I wanna look past it
Longing to overlook someone's flaws
'Cause you're such a habit
Being addicted to someone or something
But I'm made out of glass and
Feeling vulnerable and fragile
Some wounds you just can't lick
Certain emotional wounds cannot be healed easily
The crimes that you have committed
Acknowledging someone's wrongdoing and harm towards oneself
You hold them against me
Feeling blamed for someone else's actions
Some nights
Certain times or moments
Without you, I can't dream
Unable to move on or let go of someone
So now, I see you in my nightmares
Having intrusive and distressing thoughts about someone
Or not at all
Avoiding and denying someone's presence or existence
All by myself, drowning in my tears
Feeling isolated and overwhelmed with emotions
It's just the cost
Accepting the consequences of one's actions and feelings
Of keeping you alive inside my brain
Being unable to forget or move on from someone
I know it's strange
Recognizing the abnormality or irrationality of one's thoughts and feelings
I'm dealing with the pain
Coping with emotional distress and turmoil
I'm having nightmares
Experiencing distressing dreams and thoughts
And you're to blame
Holding someone accountable for causing emotional harm
Writer(s): Ellise Mariana Gitas
Contributed by Eva E. Suggest a correction in the comments below.