First To Leave
Elvis Costello Lyrics


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I should open with a kiss
For if you`re reading this
You must have opened up your case
And found this letter where I placed it
In between the silk and lace
There were other clues, like your walking shoes
But I still refused to believe
That you were meant to be the first to leave

Everybody here sends you their love
How can I forget you still walk above
Or
Below
Perhaps you`ll never know this purgatory
We never could agree
There`s a thought, there`s a pause
No time to repent
Eternally yours
In a permanent lent

But if I should give you up
If you`re right and life just stops
And I never see your face again
Then from unearthly pleasures, proud and plain
I shall abstain

Until you realize, my loss is your surprise
Unless you know otherwise




Then don`t grieve
You see I had to be the first to leave

Overall Meaning

Elvis Costello's song "First To Leave" is a poignant representation of a love letter, written by someone who knows they're about to pass away. The song opens with the lyrics, "I should open with a kiss, for if you're reading this, you must have opened up your case and found this letter where I placed it, in between the silk and lace." This establishes the setting of the song - the person writing the letter has left it for the recipient to find after their death. As the singer reflects on their impending absence, they realize that the recipient will have to learn to live without them, and that they will never get over the loss.


The singer expresses their love in various ways throughout the song. They acknowledge that their partner is loved by everyone, even though they won't be around to see it. They also speak of a hope that their partner will come to understand what they've lost when they're gone. Although the singer knows they will experience "eternal pleasures," they show an admirable level of selflessness; they acknowledge that they would abstain from those pleasures if it would bring their partner back.


The final lines of the song are particularly poignant: "You see I had to be the first to leave." This reveals that the singer was aware of a tragedy that would take them away from their partner, but their love for them is so strong that they crafted this letter as a final, enduring expression of their devotion. The song ultimately invites the listener to empathize with the singer's grief, which is powerful and deeply felt.


Line by Line Meaning

I should open with a kiss
I should introduce this letter to you with an affectionate gesture.


For if you're reading this
Assuming you're reading this letter right now.


You must have opened up your case
I imagine that you have recently unpacked your belongings.


And found this letter where I placed it
You may have discovered this letter in the location where I left it.


In between the silk and lace
This letter was probably nestled among your delicate garments.


There were other clues, like your walking shoes
I noticed other hints, like the shoes that you wore.


But I still refused to believe
Despite the evidence, I was in denial.


That you were meant to be the first to leave
I couldn't accept that you would be the one to depart before anyone else.


Everybody here sends you their love
All the people here want to express their affection for you.


How can I forget you still walk above
I can't help but remember that you are still alive, walking around somewhere.


Or below
It's possible that you are not living, but exist in another realm.


Perhaps you'll never know this purgatory
You might not be aware of the state of limbo that I feel.


We never could agree
We had differing opinions that we couldn't reconcile.


There's a thought, there's a pause
I am reflecting on something at this moment.


No time to repent
I don't have much time to regret my past actions.


Eternally yours
I will always belong to you.


In a permanent lent
My current state is one of permanent sacrifice.


But if I should give you up
If I were to lose you.


If you're right and life just stops
If you are correct and death is just the end of existence.


And I never see your face again
If I never get to see you again.


Then from unearthly pleasures, proud and plain
I will abstain from intangible sources of joy.


I shall abstain
I will hold back from indulging in anything that doesn't directly involve you.


Until you realize, my loss is your surprise
You will only realize how much you meant to me after I am gone.


Unless you know otherwise
Unless you are already aware of this fact.


Then don't grieve
If you already know how much I loved you, then don't mourn my departure.


You see I had to be the first to leave
It was my fate to leave this world before you.




Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management
Written by: ELVIS COSTELLO, IAN BELTON, JACQUELINE THOMAS, MICHAEL JAMES THOMAS, PAUL CASSIDY

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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