I Almost Had a Weakness
Elvis Costello Lyrics


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Thank you for the flowers
I threw them on the fire
And I burned the photographs that you had enclosed
God they were ugly children
So you're the little bastard of that brother of mine
Trying to trick a poor old woman
'Til I almost had a weakness
Last week cousin Florence
Bit your uncle Joe
Hit him on the forehead with a knife and a fork
(she) said that he looked like the devil
Then she said..."pass the vinegar," I'm beginning to think
(that) I'm the only one who hasn't taken to the drinking of it
Though I almost had a weakness

It pains me to mention
These delicate concerns
While I have to tolerate you family jewels
I really mustn't grumble
(Cause) when I die the cats and dogs will jump up and down




And you little swines will get nothing
Though I almost had a weakness

Overall Meaning

The song "I Almost Had a Weakness" by Elvis Costello is a tale of a dysfunctional family with poor communication, extreme feelings, and secrets. Elvis portrays a woman who is dealing with her family members in a sarcastic and ironic way. In the opening lines, the woman thanks someone for flowers but then proceeds to burn the photos that they had enclosed. The references to the "ugly children" reveal that the woman had some extensive history with the person who had sent her the flowers. The following lines, "So you're the little bastard of that brother of mine, trying to trick a poor old woman" suggest some past problems in the family. Elvis's use of an insult towards a family member shows that the woman's relationships with her relatives are not healthy or respectful.


Elvis Costello is known for his frequent use of satire and irony in his songs, and "I Almost Had a Weakness" isn't any different. In the second verse, he tells the story of cousin Florence and her tendency to harm uncle Joe. The lines "She said that he looked like the devil, then she said, "Pass the vinegar," I'm beginning to think/I'm the only one who hasn't taken to the drinking of it" demonstrate how the family has an unorthodox way with words and handling their issues. Florence's assessment of uncle Joe's appearance shows how their interactions are driven by frank but hurtful judgments.


The third verse involves the woman lamenting the fact that she had to put up with the family's issues. The woman states that she has to deal with their "delicate concerns," which could indicate her awareness of their problems yet refusal to bring them up. When Elvis says, "While I have to tolerate your family jewels, I really shouldn't grumble," he is referring to the family's inheritance. He suggests that getting the inheritance when the matriarch dies would be the only redeeming quality of being related to them. It's a comedic portrayal of how families who can be so different are sometimes brought together solely because of their shared bloodline.


Overall, "I Almost Had a Weakness" by Elvis Costello is a quirky song that highlights the intricacies of familial relationships such as communication issues, secrets, and mixed feelings. It's a satirical and ironic take on how people who share blood sometimes have unhealthy relationships.


Line by Line Meaning

Thank you for the flowers
I am being sarcastic, as I did not appreciate the flowers you gave me


I threw them on the fire
I disposed of the flowers by burning them


And I burned the photographs that you had enclosed
I destroyed the pictures that you included with the flowers


God they were ugly children
The children in the photos were not attractive


So you're the little bastard of that brother of mine
You are the illegitimate child of my brother


Trying to trick a poor old woman
You are attempting to deceive an elderly woman


'Til I almost had a weakness
I was nearly tempted to believe your lies


Last week cousin Florence
Recently, my cousin Florence


Bit your uncle Joe
She physically attacked your uncle Joe by biting him


Hit him on the forehead with a knife and a fork
She used cutlery to assault him on the forehead


(she) said that he looked like the devil
Florence claimed that Joe resembled the devil


Then she said...'pass the vinegar,' I'm beginning to think
Florence changed the subject and asked for vinegar, indicating she may be intoxicated


(that) I'm the only one who hasn't taken to the drinking of it
Florence thinks everyone has been consuming vinegar except for herself


Though I almost had a weakness
Despite this strange behavior, I was almost tempted to join in


It pains me to mention
I am hesitant to bring up these sensitive topics


These delicate concerns
The issues I am discussing are sensitive and require careful handling


While I have to tolerate you family jewels
I must put up with your obnoxious behavior and personality


I really mustn't grumble
Despite this, I should not complain


(Cause) when I die the cats and dogs will jump up and down
I take comfort in the fact that no one will mourn my passing


And you little swines will get nothing
Furthermore, you will not receive any inheritance from me


Though I almost had a weakness
Despite everything, I was almost tempted to give you something after all




Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: ELVIS COSTELLO, MICHAEL HENRY THOMAS, IAN DEREK BELTON, PAUL MARTIN CASSIDY, JACQUELINE LUCY KATHERINE THOMAS

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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