Growing up in Malibu, California, she began learning the violin at the age of four and left regular school five years later with the goal of becoming a world-class violinist; she practiced eight or nine hours a day and read a wide range of literature. Progressing to writing her own music, she studied under various teachers and went to Indiana University, which she left over issues regarding the relationship between classical music and the appearance of the performer. Through her own independent label Traitor Records, Autumn debuted with her classical album On a Day: Music for Violin & Continuo, followed by the release in 2003 of her album Enchant.
She appeared in singer Courtney Love's backing band on her 2004 America's Sweetheart tour and returned to Europe. She released the 2006 album Opheliac with the German label Trisol Music Group. In 2007, she released Laced/Unlaced; the re-release of On a Day... appeared as Laced with songs on the electric violin as Unlaced. She later left Trisol to join New York-based The End Records in 2009 and release Opheliac in the United States, where previously it had only been available as an import. Currently she is on tour to promote her newest album Fight Like A Girl. She played the role of Painted Doll in Darren Lynn Bousman's 2012 film The Devil's Carnival.
Alas
Emilie Autumn Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
My love
If I could make you live
And from the page
Step forth and sit beside me
Or better still
Bestride the steed I gave you
Wrapped close within the cloak
Perhaps I’d venture forth to ask thy name
Since while thou liest underneath my pen
That honour given
Which the poorest claim
Unjustly was withheld
But if again
I held thee captive
As I did ere now
Stalling to pass my fingers through the last
Of midnight tendrils
Or peruse thy brow
In fear of sending off what heaven cast
Too early
For my insufficient mind
To grasp the fullest detail
And retain
The presence
That your image left behind
That thou in all thy glory should remain
I fear my oversight
I would not mend
For now upon reflection
I confess
That secretly
I never did intend
With title long
Or surname rich
To bless
But rather
Let in my imagination
Run wild the thoughts of
Who perhaps you were
Before your soul
Demanded your creation
And deigned my mind
And willing heart to stir
For such a noble
And impassioned face
Could well be but
Newborn unto this sphere
But sure among a distant
Beauteous race
Thou hast known more than all who dwelleth here
And could tell much of places thou hast seen
And battles fought
For honours won and lost
And how each service
Done a faerie Queen
Becomes
A brighter jewel than it cost
The ladies of your world
You may impart
Desire to be neither
Over-graced
Nor underrepresented in the art
Of living
Where their lips were meant to taste
A sort of feline stealth
They wear about them
And while a flame of innocence they hold
In forests dark
You fear to be without them
For knights of maler kinds are ne’er so bold
Yes, in thy orb a maid may be a knight
(Thou knew’st a friend would make upon this news)
Without a whisper loud
Or censure slight
For lords are not afeared
Their stock to lose
Where no stock may be taken
Or be kept
No property be granted
Nor no bride
No maiden
May be stolen while she slept
Nor robbed of her freedom
To decide
What suits her best
No county’s law is needed
To cut the weed of violence from the stem
No danger for the law to go unheeded
For acts as these
Do not occur to them
The gentlemen you raise
Are rarer still
For in their eyes, as in the depths of thine
Such soft
And thrilling mysteries fulfill
The darkest corners of their heart’s design
Their arrows
Much like those I gave to thee
Could not but graze the flank of yonder cow
Without making him laugh
‘Tis much to see
Them tickling their prey
I know not
How
They ever do
Encapture what they eat
Save that perhaps
Their bright unfettered brains
Have learned that
What grows underneath their feet
And in the trees above
Better sustains
A life
Intent on living well tomorrow
But how
I ask thee
Most endearing fiend
Do lords and ladies love
Where is no
Sorrow
No strife to overcome
No soul uncleaned
Of crushing ardor
Long worn out its stay
Betrothal to a mortal less divine
Than that who stole thy blushing breath away
No hot
Forbidden kisses for to pine
No heart affixed to age
Where heart is young
No ill intentioned suitors to evade?
“Still madam!
Would'st thou kindly hold thy tongue”
Thou sayest
“Your mistake has rash been made
In living long
In combat with your kind
Thou see’st no other obstacle but these
Thy hands are careworn
Yet to find
The hands that first should hold them
Yet to please the hierarchy
Which you serve unwitting
Thou dost believe that love in fighting grows
That happiness
In love
Is not befitting
But in thy sadness
Thou mak’st light of woes
For even were there ne’er a cloudy day
No tempest
To divide what love had bound
The galley
Which the moon holds in her sway
Could not but stir
The peace it finally found
The wound is deeper than the sea about thee
The stars upon my doublet
You have drawn
May light my homeward path
But how
Without me
Wilt thou escape the fate
Thou tremblest on?”
And in this way
And more my paper spoke
O, fierce, savage
Gentle beauty bright
Thou who I’ve given breath
My soul has broke
You had authority
But not the right
Could I but see the lips
That dare not breathe
They are so beautiful
And pressing sweet
Could I but touch the wings that underneath
Are made so soft
Thy heart forgets to beat
Perhaps I should have more
For which to strive
You came to my domain
And brought despair
For though I be the chastest heart alive
The realm you speak of
Will not take me there
Have you no pity?
Can’st thou not perceive
That I, a blinded beast
Had but the eyes
To see where I would love?
Dost thou believe
That ere you came
I was but vain disguise?
I know the murmur of music reveals
The things no human heart could comprehend
I render’st thou for all that torment feels
And longed to be thy lordship’s
Faithful friend
Yea, quiet as a mushroom
Did I wait
I willed to thee my form
To overtake
I shivered at each passing horse’s gait
And so I slept
To suddenly awake
Alas
My love
Wilt thou kiss me goodbye
The lingering night
Will aid thee on thy travels
I’ll craft but one thing more
A crow to fly
Before t
T tell me how thy tale unravels
I say, thou art complete and free to go
What holds thee here save one who lives no longer
For I have given thee the life you know
The weaker I become
Thou art the stronger
And in your antique words your clear intent
Was that once thou art gone
I should dismay
Quothe thee
“Your thought mistook me
For I meant
To leave thee not
But offerest to stay
For true
I never did in my own realm
Partake of that pure love of which I told thee
But be my guide
And with me at the helm
And I shall in the cloak you wrought
Enfold thee
And journey to the ends
Of all the earth
For thou hast proved more generous and wise
Than all we faeries
Moons and stars are worth
For live we not
But living in your eyes”
Dear nameless knight
If thou would’st be mine own
And leave thy dragons for a while
Thou may’st
Find in these arms within which
Thou hast grown
A better reason than that which thou say’st
But with your hand you pointeth
Swear I so
And ‘tis not plain to me
Though I did draw it
Which way thou dost intend for us to go
Sure in the mind it is
Of she who saw it
Yet still perhaps
I made thee to discover
What one would do
If one were asked to choose
‘Tween back and forwards
Be thee friend
Or lover
Perhaps
You were to be
My favorite muse
Thou feel’st thy armor
Fight
But when you must
Thou see’st the blade of truth
Below thy knee
Use arrows against all
Whom you mistrust
But when thou ride’st my way
Aim one at me
Your world is yours
As ere it was before
Your time beneath my busy hand
Well spent
I’ve made a thing I love
I ask
No more
And never shall redeem the heart I lent
Me in my world
And thyself in thine
Two petals
On the same and silent flower
And evermore
I’ll welcome thee in mine
Your dear creation
Was my finest hour
The lyrics of Emilie Autumn's song "Alas" convey the artist’s desire for her creation, the fictional character she has written about, to transcend the pages of her book and come to life. Emilie longs for her character to be with her, as if they could exist in the real world, where they could be together and travel to the ends of the earth. She muses about the possibilities of who her character could have been before creation, and her extensive knowledge of places she could have seen and battles she could have fought. She longs for her character to be with her, free from the constraints of the world in which she created her, and be her guide through magical realms unseen by mortal eyes.
The lyrics go on to explore the concept of love in an idyllic and unspoiled world, where lords and ladies are free to love without the obstacles of social hierarchy, property rights, or law. The lines "No maiden may be stolen while she slept, nor robbed of her freedom to decide what suits her best" illustrate the absolute freedom with which lovers can exist in such a world. However, the character laments that this perfect world does not exist, and that she is forever bound to her role as the author, unable to escape into the world she has created.
The song is a beautifully written narrative of the desire for creation to come to life and the desire to love without boundaries. The lyrics are poetic, and the overall composition of the song is emotionally charged and powerful, which is typical of Emilie Autumn's work. The song has an almost Victorian era-style due to the nature of the language and the themes, which evoke a sense of nostalgia and romanticism.
Line by Line Meaning
Alas
Oh, lament
My love
Beloved
If I could make you live
If I had the power to bring you to life
And from the page
And emerge from the written words
Step forth and sit beside me
Come and be by my side
Or better still
Or even better
Bestride the steed I gave you
Ride the horse I have gifted you
Wrapped close within the cloak
Covered in the cloak
I lent to hide thee
I loaned to conceal you
Perhaps I’d venture forth to ask thy name
Maybe I would dare to ask your name
Since while thou liest underneath my pen
While you exist within my written words
That honour given
That recognition granted
Which the poorest claim
Which the most destitute demand
Unjustly was withheld
Unfairly was denied
But if again
But if once more
I held thee captive
I held you captive
As I did ere now
As I did earlier
Stalling to pass my fingers through the last
Reluctant to touch the final
Of midnight tendrils
Of dark and delicate threads
Or peruse thy brow
Or examine your forehead
In fear of sending off what heaven cast
Afraid of losing your heavenly essence
Too early
Too soon
For my insufficient mind
For my limited understanding
To grasp the fullest detail
To comprehend every aspect
And retain
And keep
The presence
The essence
That your image left behind
That your image left in its wake
That thou in all thy glory should remain
That you should remain in all your glory
I fear my oversight
I fear my oversight
I would not mend
I would not correct
For now upon reflection
Upon reflecting now
I confess
I admit
That secretly
That in secret
I never did intend
I never meant
With title long
With long-winded titles
Or surname rich
Or affluent last names
To bless
To bestow
But rather
But instead
Let in my imagination
Allow my imagination
Run wild the thoughts of
To let the thoughts of
Who perhaps you were
Who you may have been
Before your soul
Before your essence
Demanded your creation
Called for your existence
And deigned my mind
And deemed my mind
And willing heart to stir
And willing heart to be moved
For such a noble
For such an noble
And impassioned face
And passionate face
Could well be but
Could very well be just
Newborn unto this sphere
Recently born into this world
But sure among a distant
But surely among a distant
Beauteous race
Beautiful race
Thou hast known more than all who dwelleth here
You have experienced more than anyone here
And could tell much of places thou hast seen
And could share many stories of the places you have visited
And battles fought
And battles fought
For honours won and lost
For honors won and lost
And how each service
And how each act of service
Done a faerie Queen
Performed for a fairy Queen
Becomes
Becomes
A brighter jewel than it cost
A more valuable gem than it required
The ladies of your world
The women of your world
You may impart
You may convey
Desire to be neither
A longing to be neither
Over-graced
Overburdened with beauty
Nor underrepresented in the art
Nor underappreciated in the art
Of living
Of existence
Where their lips were meant to taste
Where their lips were meant to savor
A sort of feline stealth
A kind of cat-like secrecy
They wear about them
They possess about them
And while a flame of innocence they hold
And while they maintain a flame of innocence
In forests dark
In dark forests
You fear to be without them
You fear to be without them
For knights of maler kinds are ne’er so bold
Because knights of lesser kinds are never as courageous
Yes, in thy orb a maid may be a knight
Indeed, in your world, a woman can be a knight
(Thou knew’st a friend would make upon this news)
(You knew a friend would react to this information)
Without a whisper loud
Without a loud proclamation
Or censure slight
Or slight criticism
For lords are not afeared
Because lords are not frightened
Their stock to lose
To lose their reputation
Where no stock may be taken
Where no loss can be suffered
Or be kept
Or retained
No property be granted
No belongings be bestowed
Nor no bride
And no bride
No maiden
No young woman
May be stolen while she slept
May be abducted while she sleeps
Nor robbed of her freedom
Nor deprived of her liberty
To decide
To make choices
What suits her best
What suits her most
No county’s law is needed
No jurisdiction is required
To cut the weed of violence from the stem
To eradicate violence from its roots
No danger for the law to go unheeded
No risk of the law being ignored
For acts as these
For such acts
Do not occur to them
Do not happen in their world
The gentlemen you raise
The gentlemen you raise
Are rarer still
Are even more rare
For in their eyes, as in the depths of thine
Because in their eyes, just like yours
Such soft
Such gentle
And thrilling mysteries fulfill
And captivating enigmas are fulfilled
The darkest corners of their heart’s design
The deepest corners of their heartfelt desires
Their arrows
Their arrows
Much like those I gave to thee
Similar to the ones I gave you
Could not but graze the flank of yonder cow
Could not help but brush against the side of a distant cow
Without making him laugh
Without causing it to laugh
‘Tis much to see
It is remarkable to witness
Them tickling their prey
Them amusing their victims
I know not
I do not know
How
How
They ever do
They always
Encapture what they eat
Capture what they eat
Save that perhaps
Except that maybe
Their bright unfettered brains
Their bright and unrestrained minds
Have learned that
Have learned that
What grows underneath their feet
What grows beneath their feet
And in the trees above
And in the trees above
Better sustains
Better supports
A life
A life
Intent on living well tomorrow
Determined to live well in the future
But how
But how
I ask thee
I ask you
Most endearing fiend
Most charming devil
Do lords and ladies love
Do lords and ladies experience love
Where is no
Where there is no
Sorrow
Sadness
No strife to overcome
No conflicts to overcome
No soul uncleaned
No tainted souls
Of crushing ardor
Of overwhelming passion
Long worn out its stay
Long exhausted its presence
Betrothal to a mortal less divine
Marriage to a mortal less divine
Than that who stole thy blushing breath away
Than the one who took your breath away
No hot
No intense
Forbidden kisses for to pine
Forbidden kisses to yearn for
No heart affixed to age
No heart attached to aging
Where heart is young
Where the heart is youthful
No ill intentioned suitors to evade
No malicious suitors to avoid
“Still madam!
“Still madam!
Would'st thou kindly hold thy tongue”
Could you kindly be silent
Thou sayest
You say
“Your mistake has rash been made
“Your mistake has been made hastily
In living long
In living for a long time
In combat with your kind
In battling with your kind
Thou see’st no other obstacle but these
You see no other obstacles but these
Thy hands are careworn
Your hands are worn from battle
Yet to find
Yet to find
The hands that first should hold them
The hands that deserve to hold them first
Yet to please the hierarchy
Yet to please the hierarchy
Which you serve unwitting
That you unknowingly serve
Thou dost believe that love in fighting grows
You believe that love grows from fighting
That happiness
That happiness
In love
In love
Is not befitting
Is not appropriate
But in thy sadness
But in your sadness
Thou mak’st light of woes
You make light of sorrows
For even were there ne’er a cloudy day
Even if there were never a cloudy day
No tempest
No storm
To divide what love had bound
To separate what love had united
The galley
The ship
Which the moon holds in her sway
Which the moon controls
Could not but stir
Could not help but stir
The peace it finally found
The peace it has finally found
The wound is deeper than the sea about thee
The wound is deeper than the sea surrounding you
The stars upon my doublet
The stars on my garment
You have drawn
You have adorned
May light my homeward path
May illuminate my path back home
But how
But how
Without me
Without me
Wilt thou escape the fate
Will you escape the destiny
Thou tremblest on?”
You tremble upon?
And in this way
And in this manner
And more my paper spoke
And my paper spoke even more
O, fierce, savage
Oh, fierce, untamed
Gentle beauty bright
Kind, radiant beauty
Thou who I’ve given breath
You to whom I have given life
My soul has broke
My soul is shattered
You had authority
You had power
But not the right
But not the permission
Could I but see the lips
If only I could see the lips
That dare not breathe
That are too afraid to exhale
They are so beautiful
They are so beautiful
And pressing sweet
And so delightfully pressed
Could I but touch the wings that underneath
If only I could touch the wings that lie beneath
Are made so soft
That are made so soft
Thy heart forgets to beat
Your heart forgets to beat
Perhaps I should have more
Perhaps I should have wished for more
For which to strive
To strive for
You came to my domain
You entered my realm
And brought despair
And brought despair
For though I be the chastest heart alive
Even though I am the purest heart alive
The realm you speak of
The realm you talk about
Will not take me there
Will not take me there
Have you no pity?
Do you have no pity?
Can’st thou not perceive
Can you not see
That I, a blinded beast
That I, a blinded creature
Had but the eyes
Had only the eyes
To see where I would love?
To see where I would find love?
Dost thou believe
Do you believe
That ere you came
That before you came
I was but vain disguise?
I was but a shallow disguise?
I know the murmur of music reveals
I know that the whisper of music exposes
The things no human heart could comprehend
The things that no human heart could understand
I render’st thou for all that torment feels
You relieve me of all the torment I feel
And longed to be thy lordship’s
And desired to be your lordship's
Faithful friend
Faithful companion
Yea, quiet as a mushroom
Yes, as quiet as a mushroom
Did I wait
Did I patiently wait
I willed to thee my form
I willingly offered you my appearance
To overtake
To take over
I shivered at each passing horse’s gait
I shivered at the movement of every passing horse
And so I slept
And so I slept
To suddenly awake
Only to suddenly awaken
Alas
Oh, lament
My love
Beloved
Wilt thou kiss me goodbye
Will you kiss me goodbye
The lingering night
The remaining night
Will aid thee on thy travels
Will assist you on your journey
I’ll craft but one thing more
I'll create just one more thing
A crow to fly
A crow to fly
Before t
Before
T tell me how thy tale unravels
To tell me how your story unfolds
I say, thou art complete and free to go
I say, you are whole and free to leave
What holds thee here save one who lives no longer
What keeps you here apart from someone who is no longer alive
For I have given thee the life you know
Because I have given you the life you have
The weaker I become
The weaker I become
Thou art the stronger
You are the stronger
And in your antique words your clear intent
And through your old-fashioned words, your clear intention
Was that once thou art gone
Was that once you are gone
I should dismay
I should be disappointed
Quothe thee
You quote
Your thought mistook me
Your thoughts misunderstood me
For I meant
Because I intended
To leave thee not
Not to leave you
But offerest to stay
But offer to stay
For true
For true
I never did in my own realm
I never did in my own realm
Partake of that pure love of which I told thee
Experience that pure love I told you about
But be my guide
But be my guide
And with me at the helm
And with me in charge
And I shall in the cloak you wrought
And I shall with the cloak you created
Enfold thee
Embrace you
And journey to the ends
And travel to the furthest reaches
Of all the earth
Of the entire world
For thou hast proved more generous and wise
Because you have shown yourself more generous and wise
Than all we faeries
Than all of us fairies
Moons and stars are worth
Even the worth of moons and stars
For live we not
For we do not live
But living in your eyes
But live within your eyes
Dear nameless knight
Dear knight without a name
If thou would’st be mine own
If you would be mine only
And leave thy dragons for a while
And leave your dragons for a while
Thou may’st
You may
Find in these arms within which
Find in these arms in which
Thou hast grown
You have grown
A better reason than that which thou say’st
A better reason than the one you claim
But with your hand you pointeth
But with your hand you point
Swear I so
I swear by it
And ‘tis not plain to me
And it is not clear to me
Though I did draw it
Even though I drew it
Which way thou dost intend for us to go
Which way do you plan for us to go
Sure in the mind it is
Surely it is in the mind
Of she who saw it
Of the one who saw it
Yet still perhaps
Yet still maybe
I made thee to discover
I made you to discover
What one would do
What one would do
If one were asked to choose
If one were asked to make a choice
‘Tween back and forwards
Between backward and forward
Be thee friend
Be your friend
Or lover
Or lover
Perhaps
Maybe
You were to be
You were meant to be
My favorite muse
My favorite source of inspiration
Thou feel’st thy armor
You feel your armor
Fight
Battle
But when you must
But when you have to
Thou see’st the blade of truth
You see the blade of truth
Below thy knee
Below your knee
Use arrows against all
Use arrows against everyone
Whom you mistrust
Whom you distrust
But when thou ride’st my way
But when you ride my way
Aim one at me
Aim one at me
Your world is yours
Your world is yours
As ere it was before
As it was before
Your time beneath my busy hand
Your time under my busy hand
Well spent
Well used
I’ve made a thing I love
I have created something I love
I ask
I ask
No more
No more
And never shall redeem the heart I lent
And I will never retrieve the heart I lent
Me in my world
Me in my world
And thyself in thine
And yourself in yours
Two petals
Two petals
On the same and silent flower
On the same silent flower
And evermore
And forevermore
I’ll welcome thee in mine
I will welcome you into mine
Your dear creation
Your beloved creation
Was my finest hour
Was my greatest achievement
Contributed by Joshua J. Suggest a correction in the comments below.