Growing up in Malibu, California, she began learning the violin at the age of four and left regular school five years later with the goal of becoming a world-class violinist; she practiced eight or nine hours a day and read a wide range of literature. Progressing to writing her own music, she studied under various teachers and went to Indiana University, which she left over issues regarding the relationship between classical music and the appearance of the performer. Through her own independent label Traitor Records, Autumn debuted with her classical album On a Day: Music for Violin & Continuo, followed by the release in 2003 of her album Enchant.
She appeared in singer Courtney Love's backing band on her 2004 America's Sweetheart tour and returned to Europe. She released the 2006 album Opheliac with the German label Trisol Music Group. In 2007, she released Laced/Unlaced; the re-release of On a Day... appeared as Laced with songs on the electric violin as Unlaced. She later left Trisol to join New York-based The End Records in 2009 and release Opheliac in the United States, where previously it had only been available as an import. Currently she is on tour to promote her newest album Fight Like A Girl. She played the role of Painted Doll in Darren Lynn Bousman's 2012 film The Devil's Carnival.
Castle Down*
Emilie Autumn Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Through the sea of painful
You have watched as I pull
Myself from the floor
And you were there when I
Built my tower like pebbles in the rain
Trying to balance all that I had left
With what I didn't have anymore
[Chorus]
But would you tear my castle down
Stone by stone
And let the wind run through my windows
'Til there is nothing left but a battered rose
Would you tear my castle down
Stone by stone
And let the wind run through my windows
'Til there is nothing left but a battered rose
You seem so devoted
Your love is unconditional
You were self-promoted
I never asked you
You were my everything
My apparitional faith
Where are you when I am screaming to my God
What am I coming to
[Chorus]
If I had another place to go
Would you break me, is it that you know
I have no choice but to rebuild again
I'm tied so hard I can't remember when
I last walked free upon these feet of mine
But I'll draw the line
There will come a Time
When I am stronger
Your words won't hurt any longer
[Chorus]
'Til there is nothing nothing left
'Til there is nothing nothing left
'Til there is nothing left
Will you tear my castle down
Will you tear my castle down
Will you tear my castle down
The lyrics of "Castle Down" are a heartfelt plea by Emilie Autumn to someone who has witnessed the vast emotional turmoil that she has been through. In the verse, Autumn paints a picture of her swimming through a sea of pain, but also of her triumphs over it. She built herself a tower that, though small and made of pebbles, stood tall in the rain of difficult circumstances.
The chorus brings in a sense of vulnerability, as Autumn asks if the person she's speaking to would tear down her castle stone by stone, letting the wind run through the windows until there is nothing left but a battered rose. This is a metaphor for the fragility of her emotional state and the fear that all that she has built up will be destroyed by an outside force.
The second verse brings up the person's unwavering devotion to her, and how they have become her everything. Yet, there's a sense of anger bubbling up as well, as she accuses them of being self-promoting and never asking her what she truly wants or needs. The song ends with Autumn's declaration that she will draw the line and become stronger, so that the words of others won't hurt her any longer.
Overall, "Castle Down" is a poignant plea for understanding, support, and a sense of safety amid the ever-changing winds of life.
Line by Line Meaning
You can see that I swim
Through the sea of painful
You have witnessed how I struggle through a life filled with pain and turmoil.
You have watched as I pull
Myself from the floor
You have observed me picking myself up after being knocked down by life's challenges.
And you were there when I
Built my tower like pebbles in the rain
Trying to balance all that I had left
With what I didn't have anymore
You were present when I was trying to rebuild my life, bit by bit, like a tower made of pebbles in the rain. I was struggling to find balance with limited resources.
[Chorus]
But would you tear my castle down
Stone by stone
And let the wind run through my windows
'Til there is nothing left but a battered rose
Would you tear my castle down
Stone by stone
And let the wind run through my windows
'Til there is nothing left but a battered rose
Despite all this progress, I wonder if you would still want to destroy everything I have worked so hard to build, piece by piece, until there is nothing left but a fragile, battered shell.
You seem so devoted
Your love is unconditional
You were self-promoted
I never asked you
You appear to be devoted to me, and your love seems unwavering. However, I didn't ask for this devotion, and it almost seems like you've promoted yourself to this position in my life.
You were my everything
My apparitional faith
Where are you when I am screaming to my God
What am I coming to
There was a time when you were everything to me, a source of faith and hope in a dark world. However, now that I'm struggling, it feels like you're not there when I need you most, and I feel alone and abandoned.
[Chorus]
If I had another place to go
Would you break me, is it that you know
I have no choice but to rebuild again
I'm tied so hard I can't remember when
I last walked free upon these feet of mine
But I'll draw the line
There will come a Time
When I am stronger
Your words won't hurt any longer
If I had any other options, would you still try to break me down? It seems like you know that I am dependent on you, and it's almost like you're taking advantage of that fact. However, I will eventually be strong enough to resist your hurtful words and actions.
[Chorus]
'Til there is nothing nothing left
'Til there is nothing nothing left
'Til there is nothing left
Will you tear my castle down
Will you tear my castle down
Will you tear my castle down
This chorus repeats the idea that I am worried that you will tear down everything I have built, leaving me with nothing but a broken, battered shell of a life.
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: EMILIE AUTUMN
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind