Growing up in Malibu, California, she began learning the violin at the age of four and left regular school five years later with the goal of becoming a world-class violinist; she practiced eight or nine hours a day and read a wide range of literature. Progressing to writing her own music, she studied under various teachers and went to Indiana University, which she left over issues regarding the relationship between classical music and the appearance of the performer. Through her own independent label Traitor Records, Autumn debuted with her classical album On a Day: Music for Violin & Continuo, followed by the release in 2003 of her album Enchant.
She appeared in singer Courtney Love's backing band on her 2004 America's Sweetheart tour and returned to Europe. She released the 2006 album Opheliac with the German label Trisol Music Group. In 2007, she released Laced/Unlaced; the re-release of On a Day... appeared as Laced with songs on the electric violin as Unlaced. She later left Trisol to join New York-based The End Records in 2009 and release Opheliac in the United States, where previously it had only been available as an import. Currently she is on tour to promote her newest album Fight Like A Girl. She played the role of Painted Doll in Darren Lynn Bousman's 2012 film The Devil's Carnival.
Swallow
Emilie Autumn Lyrics
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Are pretty much the fucking same
I'm not a faerie but I need
More than this life so I became
This creature representing more to you
Than just another girl
And if I had a chance to change my mind
I wouldn't for the world
Sinking slowly
Can I trust you
But I don't want to
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
I'll take a deep deep breath
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I don't want to be a legend
Oh well that's a god damned lie - I do
To say I do this for the people
I admit is hardly true
You tell me everything's all right
As though it's something you've been through
You think this torment is romantic
Well it's not except to you
Twenty years
Sinking slowly
Can I trust you
But I don't want to
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
I'll take a deep deep breath
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
Low tide and high tea
The oysters are waiting for me
If I'm not there on time
I'll send my emissary
If I photoshop you
Out of every picture I could
Go quietly quiet
But would that do any good
Will it hurt? No it won't
Then what am I so afraid of
Filthy victorians
They made me what I'm made of
The brighter the light
The darker the shadow
I don't need a minder
I've made up my mind
Go away
Twenty years
Sinking slowly
Can I trust you
But I don't want to
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
I'll take a deep deep breath
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
"Swallow" by Emilie Autumn delves into the singer's desire to be more than just a girl who sings songs that all sound the same. She recognizes that she has become a creature representing something more, but she is haunted by the fear that her "torment is romantic" to her audience – a sentiment that she does not share. The lyrics seem to suggest that she feels trapped by this image, and is sinking slowly over the course of 20 years. She is surrounded by people who tell her that everything is alright, but she knows that it isn't.
Autumn then shifts to the metaphor of swallowing and drowning; the sea level keeps rising, and only by swallowing can she keep it down. The implication is that the swallowing is painful, but necessary for survival, and she warns those who may try to take advantage of this vulnerability that she will come back to haunt them if they drown her. The song then moves to a strange poetic interlude involving oysters and Victorian era emblems before returning to the chorus.
As with much of Emilie Autumn's work, there is a blend of whimsy and darkness in the lyrics. The message is cryptic and may be interpreted in a variety of ways. She may be critiquing the image that has been created for her by the media, or she may be expressing a more personal angst. Whatever the meaning, the song is haunting and has a resonant quality that captivates listeners.
Line by Line Meaning
I'll tell the truth: all of my songs
I am honest about my music.
Are pretty much the fucking same
My songs have similar styles.
I'm not a faerie but I need
I am not a fairy but I desire.
More than this life so I became
I seek more in this life, so I changed.
This creature representing more to you
I am a creature that symbolizes more to you.
Than just another girl
More than merely just another female.
And if I had a chance to change my mind
Even if I could reconsider,
I wouldn't for the world
I would still do the same.
Twenty years
20 years have passed by.
Sinking slowly
Gradually getting submerged.
Can I trust you
Do I have your confidence?
But I don't want to
But I do not wish to.
I will swallow
I will ingest.
If it will help my sea level go down
If it will help me.
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
But if I fail, I will have vengeance.
I don't want to be a legend
I do not desire to be famous.
Oh well that's a god damned lie - I do
That is not true. In fact, I do.
To say I do this for the people
To claim I create music for listeners.
I admit is hardly true
I acknowledge, that is hardly correct.
You tell me everything's all right
You inform me that everything is okay.
As though it's something you've been through
Like you have experienced it before.
You think this torment is romantic
You believe this suffering is lovely.
Well it's not except to you
Well, it is not, except to you.
Low tide and high tea
Ebb tide and evening tea.
The oysters are waiting for me
The oysters are expecting me.
If I'm not there on time
If I happen to be not on schedule.
I'll send my emissary
I will dispatch my representative.
If I photoshop you
If I edit you out.
Out of every picture I could
From every photograph I can find.
Go quietly quiet
Silently fade away.
But would that do any good
But will that help?
Will it hurt? No it won't
Will it cause pain? No, it will not.
Then what am I so afraid of
Then why am I scared?
Filthy victorians
Dirty Victorian era people.
They made me what I'm made of
They are the cause of who I am.
The brighter the light
The stronger the radiance.
The darker the shadow
The greater the darkness.
I don't need a minder
I do not require a keeper.
I've made up my mind
I have decided.
Go away
Leave me alone.
Twenty years
2 decades.
Sinking slowly
Sinking progressively.
Can I trust you
Do you have my trust?
But I don't want to
But I do not desire to.
I will swallow
I will ingest.
If it will help my sea level go down
If it will benefit me.
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
Otherwise, I will have revenge.
I will swallow
I will ingest.
If it will help my sea level go down
If it will benefit me.
I'll take a deep deep breath
I will inhale deeply.
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
Otherwise, I will have revenge.
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: EMILIE AUTUMN
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind