Emilie Autumn Liddell (born on September 22, 1979), better known by her sta… Read Full Bio ↴Emilie Autumn Liddell (born on September 22, 1979), better known by her stage name Emilie Autumn, is an American singer-songwriter, poet, and violinist. Autumn draws influence for her music—the style of which she has alternatively labeled as "Victoriandustrial" and glam rock—from plays, novels, and history, particularly the Victorian era. Performing with her all-female backing band The Bloody Crumpets, Autumn incorporates elements of classical music, cabaret, electronica, and glam rock with theatrics, and burlesque.

Growing up in Malibu, California, she began learning the violin at the age of four and left regular school five years later with the goal of becoming a world-class violinist; she practiced eight or nine hours a day and read a wide range of literature. Progressing to writing her own music, she studied under various teachers and went to Indiana University, which she left over issues regarding the relationship between classical music and the appearance of the performer. Through her own independent label Traitor Records, Autumn debuted with her classical album On a Day: Music for Violin & Continuo, followed by the release in 2003 of her album Enchant.

She appeared in singer Courtney Love's backing band on her 2004 America's Sweetheart tour and returned to Europe. She released the 2006 album Opheliac with the German label Trisol Music Group. In 2007, she released Laced/Unlaced; the re-release of On a Day... appeared as Laced with songs on the electric violin as Unlaced. She later left Trisol to join New York-based The End Records in 2009 and release Opheliac in the United States, where previously it had only been available as an import. Currently she is on tour to promote her newest album Fight Like A Girl. She played the role of Painted Doll in Darren Lynn Bousman's 2012 film The Devil's Carnival.

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Emilie Autumn Lyrics

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Here you sit on your high-backed chair
Wonder how the view is from there
I wouldn't know 'cause I like to sit
Upon the floor, yeah upon the floor
If you like we could play a game
Let's pretend that we are the same
But you will have to look much closer
Than you do, closer than you do

And I'm far too tired to stay here anymore
And I don't care what you think anyway
'Cause I think you were wrong about me
Yeah what if you were, what if you were

And what if I'm a snowstorm burning
What if I'm a world unturning
What if I'm an ocean, far too shallow, much too deep
What if I'm the kindest demon
Something you may not believe in
What if I'm a siren singing gentlemen to sleep

I know you've got it figured out
Tell me what I am all about
And I just might learn a thing or two
Hundred about you, maybe about you
I'm the end of your telescope
I don't change just to suit your vision
'Cause I am bound by a fraying rope
Around my hands, tied around my hands

And you close your eyes when I say I'm breaking free
And put your hands over both your ears
Because you cannot stand to believe I'm not
The perfect girl you thought
Well what have I got to lose

And what if I'm a weeping willow
Laughing tears upon my pillow
What if I'm a socialite who wants to be alone
What if I'm a toothless leopard
What if I'm a sheepless shepherd
What if I'm an angel without wings to take me home

You don't know me
Never will, never will
I'm outside your picture frame
And the glass is breaking now
You can't see me
Never will, never will
If you're never gonna see

What if I'm a crowded desert
Too much pain with little pleasure
What if I'm the nicest place you never want to go
What if I don't know who I am
Will that keep us both from trying
To find out and when you have
Be sure to let me know

What if I'm a snowstorm burning
What if I'm a world unturning
What if I'm an ocean, far too shallow, much too deep
What if I'm the kindest demon
Something you may not believe in
What if I'm a siren singing gentlemen to sleep

Sleep...
Sleep...

Overall Meaning

The song "If" by Emilie Autumn seems to be about being wrongly accused of being cruel and unfeeling. The singer is saying that if it makes the accuser feel better by blaming her for their pain, then she doesn't mind. She apologizes for causing pain but states that she has reached the end of her fight and cannot meet the expectations of someone who doesn't fit into her reality. She offers to take the blame and guilt to ease the conscience of the accuser.

The chorus of the song emphasizes the singer's apology for causing pain and bringing the accuser down but states that she cannot fight anymore. She acknowledges that she doesn't know what the accuser really wants from her but knows that she doesn't fit into their reality. The singer questions how any man can be so blind but ultimately offers to take the blame if it makes the accuser feel better.

The song is a reflection of the emotional toll of being wrongly accused and blamed for someone's suffering. The singer is willing to take responsibility if it means easing the pain of the accuser, even if their accusations are unfair. The lyrics offer an insight into the singer's resilience and willingness to bear the burden of someone else's pain.

ifEmilie Autumn Lyrics

if
Emilie Autumn Lyrics