Richard
Eminem & Obie Trice Lyrics

O back around the corner
I am back to selling crack at the usual spot

Got the crack, put in your orders
I have drugs for sale, place your orders

We 'bout to run up out the stores
We are going to rob some stores

It's notorious, the way I got big spitting stories
I gained fame by telling big, outrageous stories in my music

Being me's X-Clan, Vanglorious
Being myself is like the rap group X-Clan, which was known for their boastful and impossible claims

We're not your favorite, fuck it
We don't care if we're not your favorite

You know the system and you buck it
You know how corrupt the system is and you rebel against it

Have you revisiting how you used to love it
Make you remember how much you used to love hip-hop

A nigga spew through the music, acoustics, cool kid
I express myself through music in a unique and cool way

Used to pursue excuses, truth is, I was truent in school
I used to make excuses, but the truth is I skipped school

So its influence is foolish, that was my views
I was foolish to think that skipping school was cool

I'm back at it, the rap addict, by any means
I'm back to making music, I'm addicted to this rap game, and I'll do whatever it takes to succeed

We gon get these stacks accurate, no skinny jeans
We will make sure we earn a lot of money, but we won't wear skinny jeans

Say he ain't a star, niggas might be right
People say I'm not a star, and they might be right

I'm so regular, nigga gotta shit tonight
I'm so ordinary that I have to use the bathroom like everyone else

Take it back Selektah, let 'em know it's Trice
Take the beat back Statik Selektah, so everyone knows that Obie Trice is on the mic

Put your seatbelts on, we gon' ride tonight
Get ready for a wild ride, it's going to be a fun night

And I would like to introduce myse-self
I want to introduce myself

Surprise! Hi, it's Ike
Hi, it's me, Ike. Surprise!

'Bout to get my Ike on, I come with a life supply
I'm about to start living like Ike, and I'm prepared to do it for a long time

Of wife beaters and my Nikes on
I'm wearing white tank tops and Nike shoes

And a white tee over that Iron Mike
I'm wearing a white T-shirt over my tank top, reminiscent of Mike Tyson

Lookin' fly tonight, feel like I might die from a spider bite
I'm looking good tonight, but I feel like something bad might happen

Come back as Spider-Man, Park my Peter inside a dyke
If I die from a spider bite, I'll come back to life as Spider-Man and have sex with a lesbian

Bitch actin' like she got fuckin' higher standards than Meijer's, right
This woman thinks she has high standards, but she shops at the discount store Meijer

Had to pry her fingers off the motherfuckin' Breyer's ice cream
I had to forcefully take away her ice cream

With the pliers, like "AAHHH!"
I had to use pliers to take her ice cream, and she screamed in pain

Only a ruthless bastard would do this
This is something only a cruel and heartless person would do

Take a toothles bitch with no taste buds to Ruth Chris
I'm taking a woman with no teeth or taste buds to a fancy steakhouse

Give her toothpicks, stop on the way home
I'll give her toothpicks to chew on, and we'll stop somewhere on the way home

Pick up two Big Bufords
We'll get two Big Buford burgers

Girl, you got a nice pair, but you're plum stupid!
You have a nice body, but you're incredibly stupid

So when I pull up in that Benz
When I arrive in my Mercedes-Benz

Don't try to pretend you ain't interested
Don't pretend like you're not interested in me

To impress your stupid ass friends
You're pretending to not be interested because of your dumb friends

And refuse to get in woman, and get slammed on the ground
If you don't get in the car, I'll throw you on the ground

And snap like a pool stick against cement
You'll break like a pool stick against the concrete

If you suck of dick, pretend it's a musical instrument
If you're going to perform oral sex, pretend it's a musical instrument

You get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
You only get one opportunity, don't waste it

I can tell at first glance you're a ho
I can tell just by looking at you that you're a prostitute

Cause your pants are so tight
Because your pants are extremely tight

When you dance with O. Trice, your implants explode
When you dance with Obie Trice, your breast implants move around and it looks like they're exploding

So cold to dykes, the chance is snow in San Francisco
I'm so cold towards lesbians that the chance of it snowing in San Francisco is more likely

Boy I'm from Detroit city, you livin' in animosity
I'm from Detroit, and you're living in a negative state of mind

That's a fucked up state to be in, such an atrocity
It's not a good way to live, it's terrible

Look where these random thoughts get me
These thoughts are leading me down a strange path

In senseless mind babble, "What me? Apologize? labrbrr"
I'm talking nonsense and babbling incoherently

That's just the way the rhyme unravels
That's just how my rhymes come out

And I wouldn't fucking take it back if I time traveled!
I wouldn't change anything even if I could go back in time

Just call me Richard, cause I'm a dick
Call me Richard because I act like a jerk

It's also Richard cause I feel like you should
I want you to call me Richard because I think it sounds cool

Pry your fucking mouth up off of it
Stop talking or complaining about it

You ain't gotta be no detective to figure out I'm a dick
It's obvious that I act like a jerk

When I hold my privates to your first clue
When I grab my crotch, it's the first clue that I'm acting like a dick

Sherlock, prick! Just call me Richard
You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure it out, just call me Richard

That's my motives, jumpin' out them Rovers
My motives are to jump out of luxury cars, like Range Rovers

All white, like I was right up in the Dakotas
I'm wearing all white, like I'm in North Dakota where it snows a lot

Or Minnesota, did I mention soda?
Or maybe Minnesota, I don't know, but I did mention soda

When it's mixed with viola, watch my cup runneth over
When soda is mixed with a type of musical instrument called a viola, my cup overflows

Cut from a soldier
I'm tough like a soldier

Them ho niggas disposable toaster
Those who act like a ho are disposable and useless

Putting holes in a nigga getting close enough
I'll shoot anyone who gets close to me

Being me till the credits roll
I'll always be myself until the end

Till my condition is beyond what the medics know
Until my health problems are too difficult for the doctors to handle

They wanna edit O
They want to censor Obie Trice

Like a prosthetic third leg let it go
Like a fake third leg, let go of the censoring

This is Shady 1.0 Em let 'em know
This is the original Eminem, let everyone know

I still profit through the process
I still make money through the music-making process

The prize in my jeans my balls'll never digress
The prize in my jeans is my testicles, which will never fail me

I'm a dick that I brag about
I'm proud of my jerk-like behavior

I put it in fast and then I drag it out
I have sex quickly and then I prolong it

World, I be your special friend see
World, I can be your friend

Cause these suckas suffer from pseudo penis envy
These fools are jealous of me and want to be like me, but they can't