That same year he teamed up with Detroit natives TnT and Mastamind and formed the group Natas, whose controversial debut Life After Death has been blamed for the suicide of a Tennessee youth. After another EP released in 1992 entitled Hellter Skkkelter dropped, Esham's most recognized and most controversial album 1993's KKKill the Fetus hit stores. The cover of this album depicted an unborn fetus and the title track was a song explaining why unfit, drug addicted mothers should chose abortion over birth. Esham followed up with Natas' Blaz4me and another solo Closed Casket. This was all a prelude to another controversial release, Doubelievengod. Tracks such as "Pop Pop", "Sunday School", and "Heaven" set an unprecedented mark for evilness in rap music. Esham later released his final album on RLP, Dead Flowerz. This was a transitional period into Esham's new Gothom label. Bruce Wayne/Gothom City introduced the world to the new age Esham. After this release the head nodding, trunk rattling Multikillionaire was released.
After a 2-year break, E hit the scene with the colorful Mail Dominance CD. This CD had everything from slow jams, retrospectives on lost ones, wickedness, to 50's samples. The next release is what many feel was the critically acclaimed WWW.com. In 2001, Esham released what would become his smoothest album, Tongues. Followed by Natas 6th release Godlike. Esham resume of albums includes 10 full albums, 4 EPs, 3 greatest hits compilations, and 6 releases with Natas. Not to mention working with and producing for Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Ghetto E, Kool Keith, Insane Clown Posse, and the Dayton Family. From 1989 to 2005, Esham has given fans his heavy doses of Reel Life, Heavy Mental music. Esham truly revolutionized Detroit's rap sound and is a local legend.
Eminem has listed Esham as an influence, as he mentions on his debut album, The Slim Shady LP. Esham's next album, A1 Yola, was released April 19th, 2005 by Psychopathic Records. Included with the album was also a DVD with videos to every song, making Esham the first artist to make a music video for every song on an album. Towards the end of 2005 Esham could no longer be a part of Psychopathic Records. His last concert under the label was at the 5th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos. He contributed to the Soopa Villainz project and later left. The split was on bad terms according to acidrap.com. The reason, also according to acidrap.com, was that Psychopathic Records did not allow him to use the name The Unholy,The Black Devil or the group NATAS. Athough bitterness was expressed by both parties directly after the split, Esham and Psychopathic have since publicly apoligized to one another, and stated that any past grievances are water under the bridge.
On June 6, 2006 (6/6/06) Esham released the Judgement Day box set, Rap's first $100 box set, available only through the Natas website. This set includes Judgement Day Vol.1 and 2, the previously unreleased Judgement Day Vol.3 and 4, a new 6 track Esham EP, and a DVD featuring concert footage from '04. Only 1,000 have been produced.
Cross My Heart
Esham Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
But I'll tell you like this, should'nt take the risk
Knowin the consequences well
The suicidal suckers end up in hell
Some rather be dead then living in sin
'Cause the planet is fucked up and misled
By fools like you
Runnin round tellin mother fuckers what they can and can't do
Make me want to vomit 'cause I know doomsday is coming
Jason's facin' life or death, it's do or die
And as he take a deep breath he wonders who will cry
The only one who really cares is you and I
But your the only one who really knew why
Life's a bitch from beginning to end and then you die
Living the life of sin and why
I can see it in your eyes I'm not surprised
As you cross your heart and hope to die
Living your life on the edge of panic
But still you manic
'Cause you was born a schizophrenic
Never knew life was a bitch, but it is so hard
I'm living low in the graveyard
Take a trip to another side another place
Lying in a casket wit a dead man's face
Who gives a fuck about you, nobody but you
But I didn't have to tell you take 'cause that's something you already knew
Just like a razor to the wrist I'm a cut you quick
Last dying words is I'm a son of a bitch
Son of a gun and I've just begun to bleed
As I scream Jesus christ and fall to my knees
And as everyone cries they wonder why
I cross my heart and hope to die
My rhyme is a nine to the forehead
And once you push play you'll pull the trigga and now your dead
A suicidal, homicidal, homicidal, suicidal recital
Is what I recite when I'm on the mic
At midnight I'll smother you like crib death
And find my record spinning
You'll never no I was grinnin when I did that
This is the you-N-H-O-L-why
Deadly, like pesticide
So just step aside
Once I knew a little girl was playin my tape on Sunday
They found her in some headphones dead on Monday
Hanging from a chandelier the only thing to fear is fear
When you get them butterflies you know the Unholy is near
Some disappear and never be found
Some are smothered by the rhythm and then drown
And when I blow your mind your won't know why
You'll soon cross your heart and hope to die
The lyrics of the song "Cross My Heart" by Esham are a reflection on the struggles of life, particularly the difficulties that lead some individuals towards suicide. The song opens with a reference to a man named Jason, who is contemplating self-harm, potentially by slitting his own wrists. The lyrics caution against taking such drastic action, warning that the consequences of suicide are severe, leading one to end up in hell. The song portrays life as challenging and full of sin, particularly due to negative influences present in the world. The lyrics suggest that the only people who care about Jason's life are Esham and the listener. The song concludes with a reminder of the internal conflict faced by individuals who are contemplating suicide, and the struggle to hold onto life.
Through the lyrics of "Cross My Heart," Esham paints a picture of the difficulties and negativity that confront individuals in our society. The lyrics are dark and ominous and suggest that life is complicated and often challenging, particularly for those who struggle with mental health issues. The song cautions against self-harm and suicide, recognizing the harsh consequences of ending one's life. It calls upon listeners to offer support and compassion to those who are struggling, reminding us that even small acts of kindness can make a big difference.
Line by Line Meaning
Son of a bitch, Jason wants to slit his wrists
Jason is considering suicide.
But I'll tell you like this, should'nt take the risk
Suicide is not worth the risk.
Knowin the consequences well
The consequences of suicide are well-known.
The suicidal suckers end up in hell
Suicide leads to damnation.
Some rather be dead then living in sin
Some believe death is preferable to a life of sin.
'Cause the planet is fucked up and misled
The world is chaotic and misguided.
By fools like you
People who believe they can dictate others' actions are foolish.
Butterflies in my stomach
Feeling uneasy or nervous.
Make me want to vomit 'cause I know doomsday is coming
Anticipating a catastrophic event that will have negative consequences.
Jason's facin' life or death, it's do or die
Jason is making a life or death decision.
And as he take a deep breath he wonders who will cry
Jason is concerned about who will mourn his death.
The only one who really cares is you and I
The only people who care about Jason are the singer and the listener.
But your the only one who really knew why
Only Jason knows the extent of his pain and why he is considering suicide.
Life's a bitch from beginning to end and then you die
Life is difficult and often painful, and ends in death.
Living the life of sin and why
Questioning the reasons for a life of sin.
I can see it in your eyes I'm not surprised
It is clear from Jason's behavior that he is in emotional pain.
As you cross your heart and hope to die
Making a solemn promise that may be impossible to keep.
Living your life on the edge of panic
Living in a state of constant fear or anxiety.
But still you manic
Despite the fear and anxiety, Jason is still active and energetic.
'Cause you was born a schizophrenic
Jason suffers from a severe mental illness.
Never knew life was a bitch, but it is so hard
Jason is now realizing how difficult life can be.
I'm living low in the graveyard
The singer is in a difficult or dangerous situation.
Take a trip to another side another place
Escaping reality or coping with difficult emotions through drug use or other means.
Lying in a casket wit a dead man's face
Experiencing a metaphorical death or loss of identity.
Who gives a fuck about you, nobody but you
No one cares about Jason except for himself.
But I didn't have to tell you take 'cause that's something you already knew
The singer is stating what Jason already knows.
Just like a razor to the wrist I'm a cut you quick
The singer will hurt Jason emotionally through his lyrics.
Last dying words is I'm a son of a bitch
The singer's final statement.
Son of a gun and I've just begun to bleed
The singer is also suffering emotional pain.
As I scream Jesus christ and fall to my knees
The singer is in agony and calling out to a higher power for help.
And as everyone cries they wonder why
People are mourning the loss and wondering what led to it.
My rhyme is a nine to the forehead
The singer's lyrics are intense and impactful.
And once you push play you'll pull the trigga and now your dead
Listening to the song will have powerful and deadly consequences.
A suicidal, homicidal, homicidal, suicidal recital
Description of the song's content as relating to suicide and murder.
Is what I recite when I'm on the mic
The song's lyrics are a reflection of the singer's thoughts and feelings.
At midnight I'll smother you like crib death
The singer's lyrics will be suffocating or overwhelming to the listener.
And find my record spinning
The song will continue to be played beyond the singer's lifetime.
You'll never no I was grinnin when I did that
The singer takes some pleasure in knowing the impact of the song on others.
This is the you-N-H-O-L-why
The singer's identity and persona.
Deadly, like pesticide
The singer's lyrics are harmful or deadly to the listener.
So just step aside
The listener should avoid the singer and his music.
Once I knew a little girl was playin my tape on Sunday
An anecdote about the impact of the singer's music on a young girl.
They found her in some headphones dead on Monday
The girl died as a result of the music's impact.
Hanging from a chandelier the only thing to fear is fear
The girl's death is described in detail and suggests that the power of the music can be deadly.
When you get them butterflies you know the Unholy is near
Feeling uneasy or nervous indicates that something dangerous or evil is imminent.
Some disappear and never be found
Some people who encounter the singer's music may be permanently affected or harmed.
Some are smothered by the rhythm and then drown
The song's lyrics can suffocate or overwhelm the listener.
And when I blow your mind your won't know why
The song's impact is powerful and mysterious.
You'll soon cross your heart and hope to die
After hearing the song, the listener will make a solemn promise that may be impossible to keep.
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: WAYNE KIRKPATRICK, MICHAEL W. SMITH
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Jezze Stanley
one of my favorite albums of all time
joeltrae
I am a metalhead that only listens to 70's and 80's metal. The only rap I liked was some Run-Dmc and Beastie Boys. Well, I am here to tell you this dude Esham changed my thinking. This dude in 1989 recorded the album "Boomin Words From Hell" and created a new subgenre ALL ON HIS OWN AT 15 YEARS OLD. Christ almighty, ESHAM IS A GENIUS THAT DOES NOT GET RECOGNIZED FOR HIS CONTRIBUTIONS TO AN ART FORM. It makes me sick fiffy and lil stain get so much money and accolades yet the ESHAM gets nothing
Fawck You
joeltrae he waz 13 years old
mrmegastone1
One of the best underrated period way before his time
Apokalypez
Still have cassette tape of this. Think about how hard it was to make it underground back in the day.
Dan Keizer
I want to buy this record now, I don't know why I always used to pass it up. Nobody I knew had it and I had no idea if it was good or not.
DoeG Z
outstanding!
The Warlock
another dope cd from beginning to end
Fargone1
Esham Kill's it Big Time.
Fargone1
Esham Kill's it Big Time.