That same year he teamed up with Detroit natives TnT and Mastamind and formed the group Natas, whose controversial debut Life After Death has been blamed for the suicide of a Tennessee youth. After another EP released in 1992 entitled Hellter Skkkelter dropped, Esham's most recognized and most controversial album 1993's KKKill the Fetus hit stores. The cover of this album depicted an unborn fetus and the title track was a song explaining why unfit, drug addicted mothers should chose abortion over birth. Esham followed up with Natas' Blaz4me and another solo Closed Casket. This was all a prelude to another controversial release, Doubelievengod. Tracks such as "Pop Pop", "Sunday School", and "Heaven" set an unprecedented mark for evilness in rap music. Esham later released his final album on RLP, Dead Flowerz. This was a transitional period into Esham's new Gothom label. Bruce Wayne/Gothom City introduced the world to the new age Esham. After this release the head nodding, trunk rattling Multikillionaire was released.
After a 2-year break, E hit the scene with the colorful Mail Dominance CD. This CD had everything from slow jams, retrospectives on lost ones, wickedness, to 50's samples. The next release is what many feel was the critically acclaimed WWW.com. In 2001, Esham released what would become his smoothest album, Tongues. Followed by Natas 6th release Godlike. Esham resume of albums includes 10 full albums, 4 EPs, 3 greatest hits compilations, and 6 releases with Natas. Not to mention working with and producing for Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Ghetto E, Kool Keith, Insane Clown Posse, and the Dayton Family. From 1989 to 2005, Esham has given fans his heavy doses of Reel Life, Heavy Mental music. Esham truly revolutionized Detroit's rap sound and is a local legend.
Eminem has listed Esham as an influence, as he mentions on his debut album, The Slim Shady LP. Esham's next album, A1 Yola, was released April 19th, 2005 by Psychopathic Records. Included with the album was also a DVD with videos to every song, making Esham the first artist to make a music video for every song on an album. Towards the end of 2005 Esham could no longer be a part of Psychopathic Records. His last concert under the label was at the 5th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos. He contributed to the Soopa Villainz project and later left. The split was on bad terms according to acidrap.com. The reason, also according to acidrap.com, was that Psychopathic Records did not allow him to use the name The Unholy,The Black Devil or the group NATAS. Athough bitterness was expressed by both parties directly after the split, Esham and Psychopathic have since publicly apoligized to one another, and stated that any past grievances are water under the bridge.
On June 6, 2006 (6/6/06) Esham released the Judgement Day box set, Rap's first $100 box set, available only through the Natas website. This set includes Judgement Day Vol.1 and 2, the previously unreleased Judgement Day Vol.3 and 4, a new 6 track Esham EP, and a DVD featuring concert footage from '04. Only 1,000 have been produced.
I'd Rather Be Dead
Esham Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
As efficiently as possible
There's certain things in the past
You'll have to leave in the past
I'd rather be dead
Than living in a world like this
With nothing to eat
No shoes on my feet
Can't get a cab 'cause I'm a brother
My back's against the wall
In fear I might fall
My last words when I die
Will be fuck y'all hoes
Nobody knows me
Nobody owes me shit
So suck my dick
I'd rather be dead 'cause I'm sick
Of all this racism KKK shit
All brothers ain't bad
But see you treat us like animals
So we tend to get mad
This is for the suicidalists
I'd rather be dead
Grab a nine and I might just
Cross my heart and hope to die
Pull the trigger
And kiss the whole world good bye
This is for my dead homies
Dead bodies found layin' in my pocket
But ya don't know me
You still creamin' on my old shit
But I ain't said nothing new
It's just that you don't know shit
I'm still knockin' 'em out
Knockin' 'em dead
Did what I said
'Cause I'd rather be dead
I'd rather be dead
I'd rather be dead no jokin'
No use prayin'
With the preacher for money
It ain't workin'
No use gettin' me a nine to five
'Cause either way you look at it
I'm breakin' my back to be alive
It goes something like that
Then something like this
Next thing you know I get pissed
My life is up an down
How you think that sound
I'd rather be dead
I can't fuck around
Time is wastin'
Lost the rat racin'
I just found out
My dad's free basin'
Problems fall on my head like a ton of bricks
And all I wanna do is get my gun quick
Bad news
Bad signs
And everytime I wanna talk
Somebody tell me it's a bad time
Another victim of circumstance
Mislead
That's why I'd rather be dead
For those of you who had trauma in the past
(I'd rather be dead)
Experienced set backs
Love didn't work out for ya
I'd rather be dead 'cause I'm pissed off
And I'm mad at the world
I ain't got to girl or no money
Everything's sad but funny
Everybody seems to think I'm a dummy
But I'm gonna show 'em all
I won't miss none of y'all
Try to figure out why I did it
You think you know it
I'm gonna hold my breath
And wish my death
And when I open my eyes
I wish that there's no more life left in my body
So I can party with the devil
'Cause I'm goin' to hell
Might aswell
Soul and body
Embedded in a wooden box
When they put me in the ground
People just couldn't stop cryin'
'Cause they heard my soul is dyin'
I'm going to hell
So you can stop tryin' to pray for me
You Should've talked to me
Now I'm gonna haunt your ass
Every night you sleep
You better heed the word
That the dead man said
'Cause one day
You'll rather be dead
There's present tense
There are problems
There are solutions
When we dwell too much on the problems
Your not spending enough time
Quality time
On the solutions
The solutions are the only thing that will delete the problems
The song "I'd Rather Be Dead" by Esham is a dark, somber and thought-provoking song that touches upon various issues like racism, poverty, suicide, and trauma. Esham is an African American rapper from Detroit, and he talks about his struggles as a black person faced with societal prejudices and racism that affects several aspects of his life. The song starts with Esham talking about the need to leave past problems behind to move forward and improve one's life. He then expresses his disillusionment with the world, where he cannot get a job, is discriminated against, and has no basic necessities like food and shoes.
Esham talks about how he feels like he is at his wit's end and would rather be dead than go on living the way he is. His lyrics point toward suicide, where he urges people who have faced trauma, setbacks, and failed relationships to take their lives instead of going through the pain of living. He also mentions his frustration with the prevalence of racism, particularly the way Black people are treated as animals, leading to a sense of constant anger and disappointment that builds to the end of the song where he talks about needing to spend more time solving problems than dwelling on them.
Overall, the song lyrically comes out as a powerful reflection on the state of society and how it can make people's lives unbearable. It draws attention to the impact of racism and the experience of Black people facing social marginalization and oppression daily. It also speaks of how the cumulative effect of trauma and frustration can lead a person to see death as the only release from pain.
Line by Line Meaning
In order to make that trip to the future
As efficiently as possible
There's certain things in the past
You'll have to leave in the past
To build a better future, we must efficiently move forward and leave certain parts of our past behind.
I'd rather be dead
Than living in a world like this
With nothing to eat
No shoes on my feet
Living in poverty without basic necessities like food and shoes is worse than death.
Can't get a job 'cause my skin color
Can't get a cab 'cause I'm a brother
Racism still exists and affects people's access to employment and services like transportation.
My back's against the wall
In fear I might fall
Feeling trapped and vulnerable, afraid to fail.
My last words when I die
Will be fuck y'all hoes
Expressing anger and resentment towards those who have mistreated or ignored the artist.
Nobody knows me
Nobody owes me shit
So suck my dick
I'd rather be dead 'cause I'm sick
Feeling ignored and unimportant, the singer would rather die than continue feeling sick and worthless.
Of all this racism KKK shit
All brothers ain't bad
But see you treat us like animals
So we tend to get mad
Unjust treatment and negative stereotypes of black people lead to anger and frustration, but not all black people are bad.
Grab a nine and I might just
Cross my heart and hope to die
Pull the trigger
And kiss the whole world good bye
Suicidal thoughts and tendencies due to overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and despair.
My life is up an down
How you think that sound
I'd rather be dead
I can't fuck around
The artist's life is unstable and uncertain, feeling like death may be preferable to the constant ups and downs.
Problems fall on my head like a ton of bricks
And all I wanna do is get my gun quick
Bad news
Bad signs
The artist feels overwhelmed and consumed by their problems, leading to thoughts of turning to violence or death.
And everytime I wanna talk
Somebody tell me it's a bad time
Another victim of circumstance
Mislead
Feeling unheard and unsupported, like a victim of circumstance who has been misled.
I'd rather be dead 'cause I'm pissed off
And I'm mad at the world
I ain't got to girl or no money
Everything's sad but funny
Feeling angry, depressed, and hopeless due to being alone and broke in a world that seems cruel and unfair.
Try to figure out why I did it
You think you know it
I'm gonna hold my breath
And wish my death
And when I open my eyes
I wish that there's no more life left in my body
So I can party with the devil
'Cause I'm goin' to hell
The singer is contemplating suicide and wishes for an end to their misery, even if it means spending eternity in hell.
Embedded in a wooden box
When they put me in the ground
People just couldn't stop cryin'
'Cause they heard my soul is dyin'
Even in death, the singer is mourned for the suffering they experienced in life.
You Should've talked to me
Now I'm gonna haunt your ass
Every night you sleep
You better heed the word
That the dead man said
'Cause one day
You'll rather be dead
The singer warns those who ignored or mistreated them that they will haunt them in death, and that they too may one day regret their actions and wish for death.
There's present tense
There are problems
There are solutions
When we dwell too much on the problems
Your not spending enough time
Quality time
On the solutions
The solutions are the only thing that will delete the problems
Focusing solely on problems leads to more negative emotions and no progress, but focusing on solutions is the only way to overcome those problems.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind