That same year he teamed up with Detroit natives TnT and Mastamind and formed the group Natas, whose controversial debut Life After Death has been blamed for the suicide of a Tennessee youth. After another EP released in 1992 entitled Hellter Skkkelter dropped, Esham's most recognized and most controversial album 1993's KKKill the Fetus hit stores. The cover of this album depicted an unborn fetus and the title track was a song explaining why unfit, drug addicted mothers should chose abortion over birth. Esham followed up with Natas' Blaz4me and another solo Closed Casket. This was all a prelude to another controversial release, Doubelievengod. Tracks such as "Pop Pop", "Sunday School", and "Heaven" set an unprecedented mark for evilness in rap music. Esham later released his final album on RLP, Dead Flowerz. This was a transitional period into Esham's new Gothom label. Bruce Wayne/Gothom City introduced the world to the new age Esham. After this release the head nodding, trunk rattling Multikillionaire was released.
After a 2-year break, E hit the scene with the colorful Mail Dominance CD. This CD had everything from slow jams, retrospectives on lost ones, wickedness, to 50's samples. The next release is what many feel was the critically acclaimed WWW.com. In 2001, Esham released what would become his smoothest album, Tongues. Followed by Natas 6th release Godlike. Esham resume of albums includes 10 full albums, 4 EPs, 3 greatest hits compilations, and 6 releases with Natas. Not to mention working with and producing for Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Ghetto E, Kool Keith, Insane Clown Posse, and the Dayton Family. From 1989 to 2005, Esham has given fans his heavy doses of Reel Life, Heavy Mental music. Esham truly revolutionized Detroit's rap sound and is a local legend.
Eminem has listed Esham as an influence, as he mentions on his debut album, The Slim Shady LP. Esham's next album, A1 Yola, was released April 19th, 2005 by Psychopathic Records. Included with the album was also a DVD with videos to every song, making Esham the first artist to make a music video for every song on an album. Towards the end of 2005 Esham could no longer be a part of Psychopathic Records. His last concert under the label was at the 5th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos. He contributed to the Soopa Villainz project and later left. The split was on bad terms according to acidrap.com. The reason, also according to acidrap.com, was that Psychopathic Records did not allow him to use the name The Unholy,The Black Devil or the group NATAS. Athough bitterness was expressed by both parties directly after the split, Esham and Psychopathic have since publicly apoligized to one another, and stated that any past grievances are water under the bridge.
On June 6, 2006 (6/6/06) Esham released the Judgement Day box set, Rap's first $100 box set, available only through the Natas website. This set includes Judgement Day Vol.1 and 2, the previously unreleased Judgement Day Vol.3 and 4, a new 6 track Esham EP, and a DVD featuring concert footage from '04. Only 1,000 have been produced.
Nervous
Esham Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Stress build-up
Um
And I'm paranoid
Skitsofrantic
I just think I'm God
I know I'm God
I'm God
I told my bitch to get the fuck on, I don't need her
My mind on my money cause it's comin' up short
I just left court on child support
A witness to a murda but I will not tell
Cause most of my niggas in the county jail
Amphetamines make me fiend to stack cream
Niggas on my team be gone off scalene
My hair fallin' out, it's turnin' gray cause I'm stressed
The police want me dead and a warrant for my arrest
I can't do nothin' plus the IRS
Know my telephone numba and my home address
This nigga wanna murda me, the bitches say they hate me
My heart been feelin like it bust on me lately
I'm gone in this muthafucka mind on loid
The simple situations in life, I can't avoid
Niggas out the murda me
Cause they never heard of me
America's most playa hated and under rated
Simply stated, niggas hate it, they wanna test
Homie been accused of playa hatin' so confess
Oh my, know why, these niggas hate me so much
It's cause I can't be touched
I'm diabolical sinister
Man I murda ya minister
When is the narcotic
Reel Life Product
And I'm stressed out
Just gone
Stop steamin and lookin' hard
Stop, stop, stop steamin and lookin' hard
Just gone
Just gone
And I'm stressed out now
Stop steamin and lookin' hard
Stop, stop, stop steamin and lookin' hard
The lyrics of Esham's song "Nervous" describe the rapper's experience with extreme stress and paranoia, which have led to a potential nervous breakdown. Esham starts the song by admitting to being paranoid and skitsofrantic, which is exacerbated by his belief that he is God. He goes on to describe various stressors that contribute to his current state of mind: a shortage of money, child support payments, and police and IRS harassment, among others. He is also worried about being killed by his enemies.
The chorus of the song urges Esham to calm down and stop acting aggressively, advising him to "stop steamin and lookin' hard." However, it seems that he is too consumed by his fears to do so, as evidenced by his repetition of the phrase "just gone." The lyrics create a sense of desperation and helplessness, as Esham feels trapped by his circumstances and unable to escape his own mind.
Overall, "Nervous" is a raw depiction of the impact of stress and mental illness on a person's life, particularly for someone living in a high-risk environment. It reveals Esham's vulnerability and the emotional toll that his experiences have taken on him.
Line by Line Meaning
Nervous breakdown
I feel like I'm going to explode from all the stress and anxiety I've been dealing with
Stress build-up
I've been under a lot of pressure lately and it's been getting worse and worse
Um
I'm hesitating and struggling to express myself
And I'm paranoid
I feel like everyone is out to get me and I can't trust anyone
Skitsofrantic
I'm having paranoid hallucinations and delusions that are making me feel crazy
I just think I'm God
I have an inflated sense of my own importance and power, and I feel like I'm invincible
I know I'm God
I'm fully convinced of my own godhood and believe that nothing can stop me
I'm God
I believe that I am the ultimate authority and power in the world
I'm stressed out like a mu'fucka, hand on my heata
I'm extremely anxious and worried to the point where I'm ready to use violence to defend myself
I told my bitch to get the fuck on, I don't need her
I pushed away someone who cares about me because I'm so consumed by my own problems and anxiety
My mind on my money cause it's comin' up short
I'm obsessing over my financial problems and feeling like I'm constantly falling short
I just left court on child support
I'm dealing with the legal repercussions of being a parent and struggling to provide for my child
A witness to a murda but I will not tell
I've been exposed to dangerous criminal activity, but I'm too scared to speak up and help authorities investigate
Cause most of my niggas in the county jail
My social circle is plagued by criminal behavior and many of my friends are incarcerated
Amphetamines make me fiend to stack cream
I'm addicted to drugs that make me crave money and success even more than usual
Niggas on my team be gone off scalene
My associates are also drug users who are high on a powerful stimulant
My hair fallin' out, it's turnin' gray cause I'm stressed
My physical health is deteriorating due to extreme stress and anxiety
The police want me dead and a warrant for my arrest
I'm being actively pursued by law enforcement and I feel like my life is in danger
I can't do nothin' plus the IRS
My financial problems are so overwhelming that I feel trapped and powerless in the face of bureaucracy
Know my telephone numba and my home address
I feel like I'm constantly being watched and monitored by people who want to harm me or bring me to justice
This nigga wanna murda me, the bitches say they hate me
I feel like I'm surrounded by enemies and everyone wants to hurt or betray me
My heart been feelin like it bust on me lately
I'm experiencing intense physical symptoms of distress like chest pains as a result of my anxiety
I'm gone in this muthafucka mind on loid
I've completely lost touch with reality and I'm struggling to navigate even the simplest aspects of life
The simple situations in life, I can't avoid
I'm so consumed by my anxiety that even basic tasks and interactions with others are overwhelming for me
Niggas out the murda me
I feel like people are actively plotting to kill me
Cause they never heard of me
My paranoia extends to believing that people want to harm me simply because they don't know who I am
America's most playa hated and under rated
I feel like I'm constantly underestimated and persecuted despite my talents and abilities
Simply stated, niggas hate it, they wanna test
I feel like people are constantly trying to provoke me and push me to my breaking point
Homie been accused of playa hatin' so confess
I'm being accused of being disloyal or deceitful to my friends or romantic partners, and I'm struggling to defend myself
Oh my, know why, these niggas hate me so much
I'm bewildered by the hatred and animosity that seems to be directed at me from all sides
It's cause I can't be touched
I have an inflated sense of my own invincibility and believe that no one can harm me
I'm diabolical sinister
I feel like I have an evil and malevolent personality, and I take pride in that image
Man I murda ya minister
I feel capable of violence and even murder, even against authority figures like religious leaders
When is the narcotic
I'm addicted to drugs and the addiction is so consuming that it's difficult to focus on anything else
Reel Life Product
I want to present myself as a legitimate and talented artist, even though my personal life is fraught with danger and instability
And I'm stressed out
I'm overwhelmed and on the verge of a breakdown
Just gone
I feel like I'm losing my grip on reality and might not be able to hold on much longer
Stop steamin and lookin' hard
I'm urging myself to calm down and stop reacting with aggression and hostility towards my environment
Stop, stop, stop steamin and lookin' hard
I'm trying to repeat this mantra in my head to calm myself down and maintain control
And I'm stressed out now
I'm at the height of my anxiety and it feels like everyone and everything is conspiring against me
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Shadeed Ameer
Even the beat paranoid, flawless!
Lord Zer0
Shadeed Abraham it is a 'noid ass beat
Dustin Warren
+Matt Inman But Selena Gomez owns this bs for real!
Mbrace
Crazy ass beat.
Yuri
If have a true multiple personality disorder is one thing that Esham set out to accomplish in the 20 years that I have been listening to him... he certainly accomplished that goal. I am 100% convinced that Esham is truly bipolar and skitzo.
John Joseph
Esham hits the nail on the head, once more.
Jim Corrigan
This is my shit in crowded situations.
Cordaroy Black
Bro! 💯
ch pu
It must be nice bein esham knowing all these rappers talkin shit about eachother and braggin bout they big contract meanwhile hes got the style they are literaly dyin for hes had it all along and if any of those punks try steppin up to hin it would just be a joke everyone knows esham is king without the crown
Eric Draven Nevermore
esham is beyond g.o.a.t. he's the hades of rap/hip hop, an underground rap god, none can top him.