That same year he teamed up with Detroit natives TnT and Mastamind and formed the group Natas, whose controversial debut Life After Death has been blamed for the suicide of a Tennessee youth. After another EP released in 1992 entitled Hellter Skkkelter dropped, Esham's most recognized and most controversial album 1993's KKKill the Fetus hit stores. The cover of this album depicted an unborn fetus and the title track was a song explaining why unfit, drug addicted mothers should chose abortion over birth. Esham followed up with Natas' Blaz4me and another solo Closed Casket. This was all a prelude to another controversial release, Doubelievengod. Tracks such as "Pop Pop", "Sunday School", and "Heaven" set an unprecedented mark for evilness in rap music. Esham later released his final album on RLP, Dead Flowerz. This was a transitional period into Esham's new Gothom label. Bruce Wayne/Gothom City introduced the world to the new age Esham. After this release the head nodding, trunk rattling Multikillionaire was released.
After a 2-year break, E hit the scene with the colorful Mail Dominance CD. This CD had everything from slow jams, retrospectives on lost ones, wickedness, to 50's samples. The next release is what many feel was the critically acclaimed WWW.com. In 2001, Esham released what would become his smoothest album, Tongues. Followed by Natas 6th release Godlike. Esham resume of albums includes 10 full albums, 4 EPs, 3 greatest hits compilations, and 6 releases with Natas. Not to mention working with and producing for Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Ghetto E, Kool Keith, Insane Clown Posse, and the Dayton Family. From 1989 to 2005, Esham has given fans his heavy doses of Reel Life, Heavy Mental music. Esham truly revolutionized Detroit's rap sound and is a local legend.
Eminem has listed Esham as an influence, as he mentions on his debut album, The Slim Shady LP. Esham's next album, A1 Yola, was released April 19th, 2005 by Psychopathic Records. Included with the album was also a DVD with videos to every song, making Esham the first artist to make a music video for every song on an album. Towards the end of 2005 Esham could no longer be a part of Psychopathic Records. His last concert under the label was at the 5th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos. He contributed to the Soopa Villainz project and later left. The split was on bad terms according to acidrap.com. The reason, also according to acidrap.com, was that Psychopathic Records did not allow him to use the name The Unholy,The Black Devil or the group NATAS. Athough bitterness was expressed by both parties directly after the split, Esham and Psychopathic have since publicly apoligized to one another, and stated that any past grievances are water under the bridge.
On June 6, 2006 (6/6/06) Esham released the Judgement Day box set, Rap's first $100 box set, available only through the Natas website. This set includes Judgement Day Vol.1 and 2, the previously unreleased Judgement Day Vol.3 and 4, a new 6 track Esham EP, and a DVD featuring concert footage from '04. Only 1,000 have been produced.
Symptoms of Insanity
Esham Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I'm comin' back again, and I'd rather be dead
My Momma was a junkie, I need a brand new head
The symptoms of insanity got me intertwined
Voices in my head playin' tricks on my mind
I got to get my head together, 'cause it's fallin' to pieces
My mind has a migraine so I'm callin' Jesus
Razor to my wrist, someone ask me what I'm doin
I want to just die, I want to just die, so please just cut my blood veins
Some may imply I'm insane, on my shirt is blood stains
The room is spinnin' and I'm grinnin', thinkin' evil thoughts
Nine dead bodies and I never got caught
A skitsofranitc, somebody panic, is it just mad at me?
Don't understand it G, I got the symptoms of insanity
The symptoms of insanity, I tried to get to therapy
Went all nuts, 'cause nobody cares for me
Shoot 'em all up, shoot 'em all up, bang bang, buck buck
If I can't, just look in the head, I'm dead, I don't give a fuck
Who want to know, who want to know, where the bad guys go?
Nine been waitin' to kill, right between the eyes, bro
Kill the fetus, kill the momma, kill the daddy and the dog
Shoot 'em all up, shoot 'em all up, shoot 'em all up dead y'all
Boy, I kill ya bumper car, wicket and I'm deadly
So many times, I write my rhymes and mutha fuckas scared of me
Esham the black devil, unholy niggero
Symptoms of insanity, I'm quick to pull the trigger, hoe
Schizophrenic, somebody panic
Say it's just mad at me, don't understand it G
I got the symptoms of insanity
I'm comin' back with the wicket shit, but now I gotta fuck it
I cut my dog's head off and threw it in a bucket
The you-N-H-O-L-why, cross my heart and hope to die
Flowin' like this is slittin' my wrists
I see the terror in your eyes
Back 'em all up, and buck 'em all down
Lettin 'em know I'm not fuckin' around
Standin' my ground and holdin' a frown
Holdin' my dick and holdin' it down
Walkin' the trail, bloody as well
Dead skin under my fingernails
Crucifix, triple six, Esham's mackin' the funky mix
Life after life, life after death
Tell me I'm under holdin' my breath
Symptoms of the insanity
Lost my brain, end humanity
Gimme your life, appetite, settin' the fire on Devil's Night
Bury me alive, bury me dead, voices are screamin' inside of my head
Losin' my mind, losin' my mind, losin' my mind, losin' my mind
I'm losin' my mind, I got the symptoms of insanity
The lyrics of the song "Symptoms of Insanity" by Esham describe a person who is struggling with their mental health. The singer starts the song by saying that they would rather be dead, referencing the unbearable pain they are experiencing. They reveal that their mother was a drug addict, and they need a new head, implying that they have inherited their mother's addiction and its consequences. The singer's paranoid thoughts are ultimately controlling them, as they believe that they are hearing voices and experiencing hallucinations. The singer's thoughts take a dark turn as they start talking about suicide and murder.
The singer talks about their failed attempts at therapy, as their mental health issues have caused them to feel increasingly isolated, leading them to threaten violence against others and even act on it, as implied by the line "I cut my dog's head off and threw it in a bucket." The singer's use of violent imagery suggests that they are experiencing mania and a detachment from reality, leading them down a dark path. Despite the dark nature of the lyrics, the song sheds light on the importance of mental health awareness and the need for support for those who are struggling.
Line by Line Meaning
Yeah
Opening statement.
I'm comin' back again, and I'd rather be dead
I'm planning to come back to a certain state of insanity that could lead to my death.
My Momma was a junkie, I need a brand new head
I inherited my mother's addiction, and it has affected my mental state so much that I need a complete overhaul of my brain.
The symptoms of insanity got me intertwined
My madness has caused me to lose control of my thoughts and actions, and I am now trapped in a cycle of insanity.
Voices in my head playin' tricks on my mind
My mind is disturbed, and I am starting to hear voices that are influencing my thoughts and actions.
I got to get my head together, 'cause it's fallin' to pieces
I need to regain my senses because I am losing my mind and my mental faculties are deteriorating quickly.
My mind has a migraine so I'm callin' Jesus
My mental pain is overwhelming, and I need divine intervention to help me make sense of it all.
13 Ways to commit suicide, I'm doin'
I have several options for killing myself, and I am actively considering them.
Razor to my wrist, someone ask me what I'm doin
I am cutting my wrist with a razor, and I am challenged to explain my actions.
I want to just die, I want to just die, so please just cut my blood veins
I am suicidal, and I wish someone can put me out of my misery.
Some may imply I'm insane, on my shirt is blood stains
People may think I'm mentally unstable, and that's because I have spilled blood on my shirt.
The room is spinnin' and I'm grinnin', thinkin' evil thoughts
I am experiencing dizziness, and I am amused by my sinister thoughts.
Nine dead bodies and I never got caught
I have committed murder several times and have gone unpunished and undetected.
A skitsofranitc, somebody panic, is it just mad at me?
I am a schizophrenic, and somebody is currently feeling threatened by me; could it be my condition that is the problem?
Don't understand it G, I got the symptoms of insanity
I'm unsure of what's happening to me, but I know that the symptoms of madness are taking over.
The symptoms of insanity, I tried to get to therapy
I attempted to go to therapy, but my condition proved too severe for any real help.
Went all nuts, 'cause nobody cares for me
I had an emotional breakdown because those around me don't seem to care about my wellbeing.
Shoot 'em all up, shoot 'em all up, bang bang, buck buck
It's time to take revenge; everyone should be shot and killed.
If I can't, just look in the head, I'm dead, I don't give a fuck
If I cannot carry out the previous action, I'm as good as dead, and I don't give a damn.
Who want to know, who want to know, where the bad guys go?
Those curious about where evil people go after death should know that they end up in my deadly crosshairs.
Nine been waitin' to kill, right between the eyes, bro
For a long time, I have been eager to take lives and will shoot at point-blank range in the eyes.
Kill the fetus, kill the momma, kill the daddy and the dog
All forms of life should be eliminated, including unborn babies, parents, and even pets.
Shoot 'em all up, shoot 'em all up, shoot 'em all up dead y'all
Everyone within my range should be shot and killed without any mercy.
Boy, I kill ya bumper car, wicket and I'm deadly
Even someone riding a bumper car is not exempt from my lethal wrath, for I am wicked and brutal.
So many times, I write my rhymes and mutha fuckas scared of me
Whenever I express myself, people often perceive me as a danger or a threat.
Esham the black devil, unholy niggero
I am described as a wicked and demonic character, which some people may interpret as racist.
Symptoms of insanity, I'm quick to pull the trigger, hoe
The craziness that I suffer from makes me always quick to use my gun to kill anyone deemed a threat.
Schizophrenic, somebody panic
I am schizophrenic, and someone around me is currently in a panic because of me.
Say it's just mad at me, don't understand it G
I suspect that my returning mental fragility is what's causing the panic, and no one around me knows what to do about it.
I got the symptoms of insanity
The madness has taken me over once again.
I'm comin' back with the wicket shit, but now I gotta fuck it
I'm back with my wicked actions, but something's not going according to plan.
I cut my dog's head off and threw it in a bucket
I was so disgruntled that I decapitated my dog and threw its head in a container.
The you-N-H-O-L-why, cross my heart and hope to die
The word 'unholy' is associated with me as I swear to be loyal to it, even unto death.
Flowin' like this is slittin' my wrists
Expressing myself like this is akin to slicing my wrists, as it fuels my deeply disturbed self.
I see the terror in your eyes
I can sense the fear in you as you witness my insanity and share my disturbed thoughts.
Back 'em all up, and buck 'em all down
Everyone who is not on my side should be eliminated without pity.
Lettin 'em know I'm not fuckin' around
Those who underestimate me should be aware of how deadly and serious I can be.
Standin' my ground and holdin' a frown
I'm prepared to stay put no matter what and will wear a stern look while at it.
Holdin' my dick and holdin' it down
I have my penis in one hand while holding it down as a symbol of authority and power.
Walkin' the trail, bloody as well
I'm walking on a path filled with blood and gore, either as a result of my doing or those around me.
Dead skin under my fingernails
There are traces of dead tissue and blood under my fingernails, as my hands have probably touched mutilated bodies.
Crucifix, triple six, Esham's mackin' the funky mix
I am known for priding myself on having sixes in my brand name, and I mix dark themes with hip-hop music.
Life after life, life after death
Although life is supposed to end in death, my wicked ways may have me living several dark lives even after I die.
Tell me I'm under holdin' my breath
I am anxious about what may happen to me next as a result of my madness.
Symptoms of the insanity
My condition keeps showing signs that are evidence of my fragile mental state.
Lost my brain, end humanity
Without any hope in sight for my mental health, the end of humanity might be the only eventual outcome.
Gimme your life, appetite, settin' the fire on Devil's Night
I crave to take lives, and nothing else can satiate my appetite, so I plan to start a fire on Devil's Night, which is known for its evil connotations.
Bury me alive, bury me dead, voices are screamin' inside of my head
My current state of mind is such that even death or being buried alive will not stop the loudness of the voices in my head.
Losin' my mind, losin' my mind, losin' my mind, losin' my mind
My mind is slipping away from me, and I am gradually losing it until I am fully gone.
I'm losin' my mind, I got the symptoms of insanity
The degradation of my thought processes is becoming more pronounced by the day, and I know that I'm slipping into the abyss of insanity.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind