You
Everclear Lyrics

All the scars on my body and soul
The physical and emotional scars that I carry with me from my past experiences

All the trouble I've known
The difficulties I've encountered throughout my life

All the evil things that I'll say and do
The negative actions and words that I may project out to others

All comes back to
All of these factors are rooted in a particular event that has had a lasting impact on me

Little boy, back when life was new to me
A younger version of myself, still innocent and naive, unaware of the challenges that lay ahead

Hiding in my room, waiting for my mom to leave
Taking refuge in my safe place, waiting until the coast is clear

I learned to lie, to save her from the truth
I adopted the practice of dishonesty as a means of protecting my mother from the harsh realities of my situation

I was raped when I was eight years old
The traumatic event that has forever altered my sense of self and view of the world

On a sunny afternoon
The disturbing contrast between the outward appearance of the day and the traumatic event that occurred during that time

I fall back to the black and white of here and now
Returning to the present moment, where things are clear and distinct

I need to come down, I think I need to come down
Feeling overwhelmed and needing to settle my emotions

I'm on my old street, a past that is so hard for me
Returning to the location of a traumatic event, where difficult memories resurface

Looking for a place that I really do not ever want to see
Searching for something that I don't truly want to find

The house is empty, as I walk inside
Returning to a location that has since been abandoned or left vacant

I don't want to be here, I want to stay in denial
Feeling uncomfortable and disoriented, wishing that things could still be different

I see my demons, smiling in the gloom
Being confronted by internal conflicts that continue to haunt me

I have to face this thing or I will never leave this room
Making the difficult decision to confront my fears and begin to work through my trauma

See me, playing with the older boys
Reflecting on an earlier time in life, when I was still a child and vulnerable to manipulation and abuse

In a house where my mama told me not to go
Going against my mother's warnings and finding myself in a dangerous situation

They started hurting me, laughing as they held me down
Being physically overpowered and sexually assaulted during a traumatic event

They put me in (?) awful sound
The lingering effects of the traumatic event that continue to have an impact on me

To you
Directly addressing the person who is the focus of the song's narrative

I'm screaming in the mirror
Engaging in a cathartic release by shouting out loud or channeling emotions through one's reflection

Looking in the eyes of you
Gazing directly or metaphorically into the subject's eyes as a means of holding them accountable or connecting with them on a deeper level

I give my joy and my shame
Offering up both the positive and negative aspects of my being

All the (?) and the pain
Everything that I have experienced and will continue to experience

Now I am addicted to pain
The residual psychological effects of the traumatic event, manifesting in self-destructive behaviors or patterns of thought

Yeah I am addicted to everything
Being consumed by negative emotions or destructive patterns of behavior

Now I know what I have to do
Having a clear sense of purpose or direction, despite the challenges ahead

I have to kill the monsters from you
Confronting people or aspects of oneself that have perpetuated the cycle of trauma

I will forgive those damaged boys
Extending compassion or understanding to those who have caused pain or harm

They did this all for (?) to you
Reflecting on the motivations or driving factors behind the actions of those who have caused harm

I have to fix this broken heart
Putting in the emotional work necessary to address past unresolved hurt and trauma

I need to be just like a father to you
Providing support, protection, and stability to help mitigate the damaging effects of past trauma

Or I'll be a sickness with you
Acknowledging that the lasting impacts of trauma have the potential to negatively impact oneself as well as others

I'll will always be your champion
Committing to being a source of strength and support for the other person

I am twisted broken, angry and free
The current state of being, reflecting a mix of emotions and internal conflicts