Paper Bag
Fiona Apple Lyrics

I was staring at the sky
I was lost in thought, looking at nothing in particular

Just looking for a star
I was trying to find something to wish upon or pray to

To pray on or wish on or something like that
I was hoping to find something to give me a sense of hope or direction

I was having a sweet fix
I was indulging in a pleasant daydream

Of a daydream of a boy
I was imagining a romantic scenario with a boy I knew I could never have

Whose reality I knew was a hopeless to be had
I knew that the boy was out of reach and it was a foolish thought to have

But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
I briefly felt a sense of optimism

And I believed for a moment
I allowed myself to feel hopeful

That my chances were approaching to be grabbed
I thought that I had a chance to get what I wanted

But as it came down near
The hope disappeared as quickly as it appeared

So did a weary tear
I began to cry, feeling sad and hopeless again

I thought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag
I mistook a falling object as a sign of hope, but it turned out to be a meaningless object

Hunger hurts and I want him so bad, oh it kills
I am deeply yearning for the boy I can't have, and the feeling is painful

'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't want to clean up
I believe that I am a burden to him and he would not want to be with me

I've got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
I feel too unstable emotionally to pursue the relationship any further

Hunger hurts but starving works when it costs too much to love
It is less painful to starve oneself of affection than to endure the costs and pain of loving someone who cannot or will not reciprocate

And I went crazy again today
I lost my composure and sanity, overcome by my emotions

Looking for a strand to climb
I was searching for some sort of hope or solution to my problems

Looking for a little hope
I was searching for any sign of optimism

Baby said he couldn't stay
The boy I wanted to be with couldn't or wouldn't reciprocate my feelings

Wouldn't put his lips to mine
He did not want to be physically intimate with me

A fail to kiss is a fail to cope
The lack of physical affection makes my emotional problems worse

I said 'honey, I don't feel so good
I expressed my emotional distress to him

Don't feel justified
I do not feel that my feelings and emotions are valid or reasonable

Come on put a little love here in my void'
I asked him to show me some affection and fill the emptiness I feel inside

He said 'it's all in your head'
He dismissed my feelings and suggested that they are not real or legitimate

And I said 'so's everything' but he didn't get it
I meant that everything we experience is subjective and perceived differently by each person, but he did not understand

I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
I believed that he was emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship, but he proved otherwise