Fletcher's debut single as a solo artist, "War Paint", was released in June 2015. Her 2016 single, "Wasted Youth", reached No. 1 on Billboard's Emerging Artist Chart. Fletcher was included on Forbes's 2022 30 under 30 list. She released her debut album Girl of My Dreams in 2022.
Fletcher was born in Asbury Park, New Jersey, to Bob and Noreen (née Napolitani) Fletcher; her father owned several car dealerships and her mother was a flight attendant. She began taking vocal lessons at the age of five.
In 2012, Fletcher graduated from Wall High School in nearby Wall Township, New Jersey, where she played women's volleyball. Upon graduating high school, she attended the Clive Davis Institute of Recorded Music at New York University (NYU). She took a year-long leave of absence and moved to Nashville, Tennessee, to pursue music full time, but completed NYU in 2016. She currently is based in Los Angeles.
If I Hated You
Fletcher Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I could do this on my own, own
If you weren't so good to me then
I could change the background of my phone, phone
You know I dream about
Getting back together in the future
I could focus on you, focus on you
I hope that you don't find someone
That touches you the way that I do, the way that I do
My bedtime is the darkest
That's when I'm brokenhearted
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
I'd leave the after-party
I wouldn't miss your body
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
If I hated you
Took an eyelash off my face,
Said "Make a wish" and I made three
Wish I could've loved you better
Wish you'd kiss me, wish I wasn't me, me
You know I dream about
Getting back together in the future
I could focus on you, focus on you
But if I leave you now
I hope that you don't find someone
That touches you the way that I do, the way that I do
My bedtime is the darkest
That's when I'm brokenhearted
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
I'd leave the after-party
I wouldn't miss your body
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
If I hated you
I just wanna stay right here
Lay right here
Talk all over
Don't go
Don't go
And I just wanna love like that
We know that we can't go there
Can't go
Can't go
My bedtime is the darkest
That's when I'm brokenhearted
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
I'd leave the after-party
I wouldn't miss your body
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
If I hated you
If I hated you
If I hated you
In Fletcher's song "If I Hated You", she is singing about the complicated feelings that come after a break-up. The song is an exploration of the emotions that arise when someone still loves their ex-partner but knows that it is time to move on. The lyrics are full of contradictions, such as "If I hated you I know that I could do this on my own" which indicates that the singer is aware that she is still dependent on her ex in some way. Similarly, the line "My bedtime is the darkest, that's when I'm brokenhearted" shows that the singer is struggling, but towards the end of the song she says "I just wanna stay right here, lay right here, talk all over, don't go" which shows that she is not completely ready to let go.
Throughout the song, Fletcher is wrestling with her feelings. She knows that it would be easier if she hated her ex, but she can't. The line "If you weren't so good to me then I could change the background of my phone" shows how small things remind her of her ex, making it difficult to move on. The song is a testament to how complex and confusing heartbreak can be. Fletcher's lyrics show that even though someone may logically know that it's time to move on, the heart is not always willing to comply.
Line by Line Meaning
If I hated you I know that
I could do this on my own, own
If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be dependent on you and could stand on my own.
If you weren't so good to me then
I could change the background of my phone, phone
If you didn't treat me so well, I could easily move on from you and wouldn't need reminders of us on my phone.
You know I dream about
Getting back together in the future
I could focus on you, focus on you
But if I leave right now
I hope that you don't find someone
That touches you the way that I do, the way that I do
Even though I dream of us rekindling our love someday, if I were to leave now, I would dread the thought of someone else making you feel the way I do.
My bedtime is the darkest
That's when I'm brokenhearted
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
I'd leave the after-party
I wouldn't miss your body
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
If I hated you
Late nights are the most painful because my thoughts are consumed by you. If only I could hate you, I wouldn't feel this way and could move on easier.
Took an eyelash off my face,
Said "Make a wish" and I made three
Wish I could've loved you better
Wish you'd kiss me, wish I wasn't me, me
In a moment of superstition, I wished for multiple things, including the ability to have loved you better, to be able to experience your kiss again, and to not be me.
I just wanna stay right here
Lay right here
Talk all over
Don't go
Don't go
And I just wanna love like that
We know that we can't go there
Can't go
Can't go
I want us to stay together forever, but we both know that's impossible. Still, I wish we could love each other freely without reservations.
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Cari Fletcher, James Malay Ho, Maureen McDonald
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
MALEA
[Verse 1]
If I hated you, I know that
I could do this on my own, own
If you weren't so good to me, then
I could change the background of my phone, phone
[Pre-Chorus]
You know I dream about
Getting back together in the future
I could focus on you
Focus on you
But if I leave right now
I hope that you don't find someone
That touches you the way that I do
The way that I do (Ah, ah, ah)
[Chorus]
My bedtime is the darkest
That's when I'm brokenhearted
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
I'd leave the after party
I wouldn't miss your body
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you [Post-Chorus]
If I hated you
[Verse 2]
Took an eyelash off my face
Said, "Make a wish," and I made three
(All three, oh)
Wish I could've loved you better
Wish you'd kiss me; wish I wasn't me, me
[Pre-Chorus]
You know I dream about
Getting back together in the future
I could focus on you
Focus on you
But if I leave you now
I hope that you don't find someone
That touches you the way that I do
The way that I do (Ah, ah, ah)
[Chorus]
My bedtime is the darkest
That's when I'm brokenhearted
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
I'd leave the after party
I wouldn't miss your body
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you Post-Chorus]
If I hated you
[Bridge]
I just wanna stay right here
Lay right here, don't go nowhere
Don't go, don't go
And I just wanna love like that
We know that we can't go there
Can't go, can't go, ooh
[Chorus]
My bedtime is the darkest
That's when I'm brokenhearted
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
I'd leave the after party
I wouldn't miss your body
The nighttime is the hardest
It'd be easy if I hated you
[Post-Chorus]
If I hated you
(If I hated you)
If I hated you
Shannon Washburn
I’m gonna need Rose and Rosie to react to this immediately.
Anon -
We are all patiently (read as "impatiently) waiting lol
Abigayle Barry
THIS WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT!
Sam Barber
I was thinking the same, we can wait for the tiktoks reaction video, but we need them to react to this
Lauren Coleman
This is what I was thinking!
Anna
Another level of maturity to team up with your ex, whose music is about, to record scenes like that.
So fcking intense knowing about their relashionship, now their break-up, the fact that they still work togheter, specially in this ep that it's about them and their ending. True, intense and amazing music and video, as always
Ines Silva
They clearly still care about each other a lot and I it looks like they endend on good terms... I am so proud of them honestly both are great humans
Ines Silva
Aʅσɳҽ Ơυƚƈαʂƚ I wouldnt be surprised if they did but I dont think it will be anytime soon... its hard cause fletchers carrer is her main focus at the moment I think and it could be kinda lonely for shan... the song is about them so pay attention to the lyrics
obandutra1
I agree. It's a challenge but if they're both mature artistically speaking then it's possible to make amazing work that way.
Anna
@obandutra1 totally!