My Soul
Fliptrix Lyrics

Five roaches, psychosis, mind open
My mind is open but I'm struggling with mental illness, represented by the five roaches and psychosis.

Eyes closed but still cry to find coping
I'm trying to cope but it's difficult, as represented by the tears shed despite my eyes being closed.

Time slides in white smoke, I lie choking
Time seems to be slipping away as I struggle to breathe through the thick, suffocating smoke of my life.

Hiding my venomous dreams with high hoping
I keep my dangerous dreams hidden, hoping that they won't harm me or anyone else.

You've never felt pain until you've lost what you've held closest
The most painful experience is losing something or someone you love deeply.

Strains cutting my veins with thrombosis
The stresses of life are like cuts that obstruct my veins and make them clot, causing pain and damage.

The only beat I'll ever truly feel is my heart's pulses
The only rhythm that truly matters is the beat of my heart, which represents the core of my being.

Broke promises, hope my zones progress
I've broken promises to myself and others, but I hope to move forward and make progress in my life.

It's hard to face the place, your fate's chosen
It's difficult to come to terms with the fact that your path in life is predetermined.

Your faith ain't settled your state your brain's emotion
My emotional state affects my faith and my outlook on life.

Deranged focus, I cry for help but help remains hopeless
My focus is distorted and I'm crying out for help, but it seems like no one can truly help me.

Till your soul is not ghostless
I won't find peace until my soul is unburdened by the ghosts of my past.

I turn light into dark to see the dead in the summer solstice
I try to find meaning in darkness and death, which is most vividly represented during the summer solstice.

So my soul flows so corrosive
My soul is like acid, eating away at everything I touch.

Till my last breath goes and the coffin closes
I won't find peace until I take my last breath and am laid to rest.

Lay down, you'll blossom roses
Only in death can one truly flourish, like a rose blooming in a garden.

I'm speaking so deep believe in my tone
My words come from a place of deep emotion and meaning, and I hope others will believe in what I'm saying.

I bleed on this beat, the reaper's in zone
My words come from a place of pain and loss, as if the Grim Reaper is inspiring me with his presence.

I'm leaving my body and freeing my soul
I'm trying to transcend the limitations of my physical body and reach a place of spiritual freedom.

I'm scared of the day when Mary Jane murders me
I'm afraid of the day when my addiction to drugs (represented by Mary Jane) will destroy me.

Hurting internally with burns that are third degree
My pain is so intense that it feels like third degree burns, but it's happening inside me where no one else can see it.

Left in the middle ground, lurking in purgatory
I feel stuck in between life and death, like I'm in purgatory.

Demons they circle me, scheming and hurting me
My inner demons are constantly lurking and plotting against me, causing me harm and pain.

Blood spills burgundy like thieves in the night
My blood spills like the red burgundy wine, as if I'm being robbed of my life in the dead of night.

Fam I flee with the urgency, footsteps tertiary
I have to run away as fast as I can, with my footsteps becoming less and less important as I focus on escaping.

Sight of my thought of the things that determine these
I'm taking a closer look at the factors that led me to this point in my life.

I speak with the force so my power doubles Hercules
My words are powerful and impactful, like the strength of the mythical hero Hercules.

Lie when I'm dead, but for now I live vertically
I may have to lie about my life once I'm dead, but for now I'm living with a sense of purpose and direction.

With too much to say so there's no time for work or sleep
I have too much on my mind and too much to say to focus on anything else, even basic necessities like work or sleep.

Break down your train of thought, rob it like a burglary
I'm trying to break down my own thought processes and steal away the negative aspects of my thinking, like a thief robbing a home.

And that's a certainty, it's mine for eternity
I know for sure that my thoughts and emotions are mine to keep, for better or for worse, for all of eternity.

Mind when the serpents sneak
I need to be careful and mindful when my inner demons start to sneak up on me.

Mind how your mind works and mind how you earn your keep
I need to be aware of my own mental processes and make sure I earn a living in a healthy, sustainable way.

Mind you're not left a chalk line on these dirty streets at 33
I don't want to end up dead on the streets at a young age, represented by a chalk outline on the pavement.

Fuck that I yearn for peace
I don't want that to be my fate, and instead yearn for a peaceful existence.

Closing eyelids, death on a chosen island
As I near death, I feel like I'm on a deserted island and am gradually losing consciousness.

Rest in silence, memories flashing vibrant
As I pass away, I'm left with vivid memories flashing before my eyes.

Brain alive but body holds no compliance
While my mind remains active, my physical body can no longer keep up or stay alive.

Trying to hold on to life but it fades and spirals
I'm struggling to cling onto life, but it seems to be fading and spiraling away from me.

Was a gift now it's going so I need to ride it
Life was a gift, but now that it's coming to an end, I need to accept it and ride it out.

No time for guidance, virus struck and it triumphed
I don't have the luxury of time to seek guidance or help, as a metaphorical virus has taken over and is winning.

Seen the light now I feel like I'm high and flying
As I approach death, I feel like I'm flying high and finally seeing the light.

Mind enlightened, man you know I'm fine with dying
My mind is clear and my spirit is enlightened, so I'm at peace with the idea of dying.

I know God so let me leave earth and try and find him
I have faith and a belief in a higher power, so now that I'm leaving earth, I hope to find God.