If I
Flobots Lyrics


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If I hadn't been a quiet introspective kid
If I hadn't been a nerd wouldn't have met with him
If we hadn't observed we be the best of friends
That preferred the spoken word to the toke and binge
If momma hadn't died when I was young
Would me and sis have been so tight from jump
If dad had not lost his mind to a disease
Would I be up here askin ya'll to notice me

In the dark times didn't know where the path went
I was close to the edge like Grand Master Flash said
It was the hands of my friends who held me back

Yes
Without them I'd MJ keep slide'n backwards
Or be a hypocrite like some others have been
If that and the other hadn't happened
I don't know that I'd be Brer Rabbit
Askin how many ifs between hero and has-been?

If I had only known that I would be a lamb to the slaughter
now I know

If I hadn't grown up in the 80's
Experiencing the various things that made me
Would I still be standing center stage
Trying to innovate new ways to demonstrate
If mommy daddy hadn't turned off Mork and Mindy
To inform us divorce was pending
Would him and me have spent these 23 years in a frenzy
Moving back and forth with such forceful energy
I remember when I was a little baby
Lying there alone on my pillow casing
Upset already I could feel the aging
The urge to return was debilitating
And maybe I'm still afraid and need to
Cry a little harder for the world of play things
Stop looking back on these silly day dreams
Sing along with me if you feel the same way

If I had known what awaited was unplanned
If I had known the blade was in a loved one's hand
If I had known of the possible injury
If I had known the altar was meant for me
Now I know nobody can predict events
Now I know there's cracks in the picket fence
Now I know that something else can exist
Now I know a life can be built from this
If I had known emotions would still remain
If I had known that time wouldn't heal the pain
If I had known the intent of the injury
If I had known the altar wasn't meant for me
Now I know there's treasure hidden in these scars
Now I know there's presence in an empty yard




Now I know what it took for me to survive
Now I know where to go to become alive

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Flobots' "If I" explore the idea of how our past experiences and circumstances shape who we are and where we end up in life. The song poses a series of "what if" questions, pondering how different choices and events could have led to a completely different outcome. It touches on themes of loss, both of loved ones and of innocence, as well as the importance of friendship and support in times of darkness.


The first verse reflects on how the singer's introverted nature and love of words led to a close friendship with someone who shared those interests. It also highlights the role that tragedy played in their life, with the loss of their mom and dad's subsequent mental health struggles affecting the family dynamic. The second verse continues in this vein, asking how different life might have been had the parents not divorced, and reflecting on the pains of growing up and feeling the weight of the world around them.


The chorus shifts the tone, acknowledging that while we can't predict what life will throw at us, we can accept the scars and find new ways to live. The final verse expands on this idea, recognizing that while some wounds may never completely heal, we can choose to find beauty in the brokenness and embrace the journey of self-discovery and growth.


Overall, "If I" is a poignant and introspective exploration of the human experience, with relatable themes that resonate with listeners of all walks of life.


Line by Line Meaning

If I hadn't been a quiet introspective kid
Reflecting back, my shyness and introversion helped me be more reflective and thoughtful


If I hadn't been a nerd wouldn't have met with him
Being a nerd brought me closer to my friend, who shared my love for poetry and the spoken word


If we hadn't observed we be the best of friends
Sharing a love for the spoken word and observation helped us become the closest of friends


That preferred the spoken word to the toke and binge
We were more interested in poetry and conversation than in drugs and partying


If momma hadn't died when I was young
Losing my mother at a young age changed the course of my life and relationships


Would me and sis have been so tight from jump
If my mother hadn't died, my relationship with my sister might have been different


If dad had not lost his mind to a disease
My father's mental illness had a profound impact on my childhood and life


Would I be up here askin ya'll to notice me
My experiences with loss and hardship have motivated me to seek recognition through my art


In the dark times didn't know where the path went
During difficult times, it was hard to see a clear way forward


I was close to the edge like Grand Master Flash said
My struggles felt overwhelming, and I was close to giving up


It was the hands of my friends who held me back
My friends supported me and prevented me from falling even further


Without them I'd MJ keep slide'n backwards
Without my friends, I might have continued to struggle and not made progress


Or be a hypocrite like some others have been
I could have acted like others who pretended to be successful or happy despite their struggles


If that and the other hadn't happened
Thinking about how different my life might have been if various things hadn't happened


I don't know that I'd be Brer Rabbit
Without the trials I've faced, I might not be who I am today


Askin how many ifs between hero and has-been?
Wondering how our past experiences and choices shape our ultimate success or failure


If I had only known that I would be a lamb to the slaughter
If I had known how difficult my life would be, I might have been more fearful or hesitant


now I know
Reflecting on how the past shapes our present and future


If I hadn't grown up in the 80's
Thinking about how different my life would be if I had been born in a different era


Experiencing the various things that made me
The events and cultural experiences of my upbringing helped define who I am


Would I still be standing center stage
My life experiences have led me to my current place in life


Trying to innovate new ways to demonstrate
I am motivated to use my creativity to share my stories and experiences


If mommy daddy hadn't turned off Mork and Mindy
A specific event in my childhood had a ripple effect on my life


To inform us divorce was pending
My parents' divorce had a significant impact on me and my family


Would him and me have spent these 23 years in a frenzy
My life might have been significantly different if my parents had not divorced


Moving back and forth with such forceful energy
The constant changes and instability of my childhood were difficult to navigate


I remember when I was a little baby
Reflecting on my earliest experiences and memories


Lying there alone on my pillow casing
Feeling isolated and alone from a young age


Upset already I could feel the aging
Feeling anxious and worried about the future even as a child


The urge to return was debilitating
Craving the safety and comfort of childhood even as an adult


And maybe I'm still afraid and need to
Acknowledging my own fears and insecurities


Cry a little harder for the world of play things
Longing for a simpler, more carefree time


Stop looking back on these silly day dreams
Recognizing the need to focus on the present rather than longing for the past


Sing along with me if you feel the same way
Inviting others to join in this shared experience of nostalgia and longing


If I had known what awaited was unplanned
Considering how different my life might have been if I had known about the challenges and hardships ahead


If I had known the blade was in a loved one's hand
Realizing how unforeseen events and choices can have devastating consequences


If I had known of the possible injury
Reflecting on how knowing the potential consequences of our actions might change our choices


If I had known the altar was meant for me
Contemplating the role of fate and destiny in our lives


Now I know nobody can predict events
Recognizing the unpredictability and uncertainty of life


Now I know there's cracks in the picket fence
Acknowledging the flaws and imperfections in our lives


Now I know that something else can exist
Realizing that there is always potential for growth and change


Now I know a life can be built from this
Finding meaning and purpose in our struggles and hardships


If I had known emotions would still remain
Reflecting on how the emotions surrounding difficult events can stay with us for a lifetime


If I had known that time wouldn't heal the pain
Realizing that the passage of time does not always make things easier or less painful


If I had known the intent of the injury
Considering how understanding the motives of others might change how we cope with their actions


If I had known the altar wasn't meant for me
Contemplating the possibility that our struggles might not have a greater purpose or meaning


Now I know there's treasure hidden in these scars
Discovering strength and resilience within ourselves through our experiences and hardships


Now I know there's presence in an empty yard
Finding beauty and meaning in simplicity and emptiness


Now I know what it took for me to survive
Recognizing the strength and perseverance it took to overcome challenges and hardships


Now I know where to go to become alive
Finding direction and hope for the future in our past struggles and experiences




Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: ANDREW MICHAEL GUERRERO, JAMES ALEXANDER LAURIE, JESSE TAYLOR WALKER, KENNETH FREDRICK ORTIZ, MACKENZIE ALLYN ROBERTS, STEPHEN MALLOY BRACKETT

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