Spanish Mother's
Forever Came Calling Lyrics

'Cause I've been running in circles, finally lost myself.
Feeling lost and hopeless after spending too much time chasing something that doesn't lead to happiness.

Self medicate out-loud,
Trying to cope with emotional pain by consuming alcohol and drugs.

Did the whisky shots, in the parking lot help?
Feeling unsure if the temporary relief gained from substance use was worth the negative consequences.

I'll stay if you'll stay too,
Seeking comfort and support during a difficult time.

I've got my brother and we lean like fences.
Finding support and solidarity in familial relationships.

Can't cry in this crowded room.
Feeling unable to express emotions and vulnerability in a public space.

I pulled hard enough, can't get away from this.
Trying to escape from difficult emotions and circumstances, but ultimately feeling trapped.

My stomach starts to rot with all the memories that I've missed.
Feeling regretful and upset about missing out on important memories.

Can I be forgiven now, even though I spent years like this?
Questioning whether redemption and forgiveness are possible after making mistakes.

And the Gospel sang "Hallelujah" but I just miss ya.
Feeling conflicted between finding solace in religion while still mourning the loss of a loved one.

You taught me so many things, but until I learn how to grieve
Recognizing that the process of grieving and coping with loss is a difficult and ongoing journey.

You're just asleep.
Coping with the death of a loved one by framing it as temporary rather than permanent.

But I can hardly stand their faces.
Feeling uncomfortable and out of place in a room full of mourners.

Heads all bowed in prayer searching in absence of salvation.
Feeling a disconnect between religious beliefs and the reality of personal loss.

There shouldn't be strangers at these
Believing that funerals and mourning should be reserved for close friends and family.

You might be blood but that don't make family.
Reflecting on the meaning of familial bonds and recognizing that they are not always inherent.

My Spanish mother, glimpsing now her kids
Observing the profound, lasting impact of a parent's love on their children.

She sees his legacy inside of everyone of them, she holds onto her ring
Recognizing the way in which a loved one's presence continues to be felt through the impact they had on those close to them.

knowing she'll never love again.
Coping with the loss of a spouse and recognizing that future relationships will be different in some way.

It was the first time you heard me sing,
Reflecting on a meaningful experience shared with a loved one.

Their were people I've never seen
Feeling comforted by the support of strangers during a difficult time.

Consoling me
Finding solace and comfort in the kind words and gestures of others.

I don't think I'll sleep again,
Feeling overwhelmed and unable to rest.

The cars backed up for miles, in this funeral procession.
Observing the somber, formal rituals that accompany death and mourning.

Carried to rest, in Sundays best, we buried him next to Mit.
Reflecting on the solemn, reverent process of laying a loved one to rest.

I'll take apart again, everything I ever did,
Reflecting on past experiences and questioning whether different choices might have resulted in a different outcome.

If it would bring you home again, make us whole again.
Fantasizing about regaining what was lost and returning to a previous state of wholeness.

And for that I'm so sorry
Feeling regretful for an action or behavior that caused pain.

For all my days you'll sing with me.
Carrying the influence and impact of a loved one with you forever.

And the gospel sang
Finding solace and comfort in religious music and beliefs.