Never Set the Cat on Fire
Frank Hayes Lyrics

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Never set the cat on fire; you only will annoy it
The heat will make the beast perspire; she surely won't enjoy it
Likewise do not ignite the dog
The snake, the gerbil, or the frog
No, never set the cat on fire

And mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire

Don't open up the cabin hatch; the air is sure to leave it
And air is very hard to catch; you never will retrieve it
And though you think your life's a bore,
Don't open the reactor door
Don't open up the cabin hatch

And mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire

Don't change the navigator's data; someone's sure to see ya
You know the captain's view of that: a very bad idea
He doesn't want his ship to race
Forever lost in endless space
Don't change the navigator's data

And mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire

Don't start an interstellar war; it has no helpful uses
If people ask you "What's it for?", you'll only make excuses
If thirty trillion folks get hurt,
You'll go to bed with no dessert!
Don't start an interstellar war

And mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire

Yes, mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire!

Overall Meaning

The song "Never Set the Cat on Fire" by Frank Hayes is a humorous and cautionary tale about the dangers of reckless behavior. The lyrics speak directly to the listener, warning against various foolish actions that could result in disastrous consequences. The first verse warns against setting a cat on fire, as the animal will surely suffer and the perpetrator will only annoy it. This is followed by similar advice to not ignite other pets like dogs, snakes, gerbils, or frogs.

The second verse shifts to more specific situations, cautioning against opening the cabin hatch in a spaceship, as it will cause the air to escape and be impossible to retrieve. The singer urges the listener not to change the navigator's data, as this will lead to disastrous consequences for the ship and its crew. Finally, the song advises against starting an interstellar war, as there is no useful purpose in doing so and it will only cause harm to countless people.

Overall, the lyrics of "Never Set the Cat on Fire" are delivered in a lighthearted and humorous manner, but the message is clear: be careful and responsible in your actions, as there can be serious consequences for yourself and others.

Line by Line Meaning

Never set the cat on fire; you only will annoy it
Do not harm animals for amusement, as it will only bother them

The heat will make the beast perspire; she surely won't enjoy it
The cat will feel uncomfortable and unhappy when exposed to fire

Likewise do not ignite the dog
The same applies to dogs and other animals, avoid setting them on fire

The snake, the gerbil, or the frog
All animals should not be set on fire, regardless of their species

No, never set the cat on fire
It is never acceptable to set a cat, or any other animal, on fire for any reason

Don't open up the cabin hatch; the air is sure to leave it
Do not open the cabin hatch, as it will cause the air to escape

And air is very hard to catch; you never will retrieve it
It is difficult to capture air once it leaves the cabin, so keep the hatch closed

And though you think your life's a bore,
Even if you are bored or unhappy, do not risk opening the cabin hatch

Don't open the reactor door
Avoid opening the reactor door, as it can be dangerous

Don't change the navigator's data; someone's sure to see ya
Do not alter the navigator's data, as someone will notice

You know the captain's view of that: a very bad idea
The captain will not approve of changing the navigator's data and it is not advisable

He doesn't want his ship to race
The captain does not want to put the ship in danger or cause any issues

Forever lost in endless space
Incorrect navigation data could lead the ship astray and lost in space forever

Don't start an interstellar war; it has no helpful uses
Do not initiate conflict with other planets or civilizations, as it is not beneficial

If people ask you "What's it for?", you'll only make excuses
If questioned about the reason for starting a war, you will not be able to provide a logical answer

If thirty trillion folks get hurt,
Starting an interstellar war could lead to devastating consequences for a large number of people

You'll go to bed with no dessert!
Starting a war is a bad decision and will have consequences

Yes, mind your manners, as circumstances may require
Always be mindful of your behavior and actions, as different circumstances may demand different modes of behavior

And never set the cat on fire!
In conclusion, refrain from any cruel or harmful behavior towards animals, particularly cats

Contributed by Kennedy J. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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