Zappa's earliest influences were 1950s pop and rock (such as doo-wop and rhythm and blues), and 20th-century classical composers including Igor Stravinsky and Edgard Varèse. His output was divided between adventurous instrumental compositions and succinct, catchy rock songs with ribald, satirical, or comically absurd lyrics. On stage he demanded virtuosity and spontaneity from his musicians, and employed many performers who would later go on to achieve fame in their own rights. He directed and released a number of films featuring himself, his musicians and entourage, including 200 Motels and Baby Snakes.
His career started in 1955. His earliest recordings date from the mid-1960s, and include collaborations with his school friend Captain Beefheart. In 1965 he joined a bar-band called The Soul Giants, quickly dominating its musical direction and rechristening it The Mothers. Their first release (as The Mothers of Invention; the name alteration requested by their record company) was the 1966 double album Freak Out!. The line-up of the Mothers gradually expanded to accommodate Zappa's increasingly ambitious and avant-garde music, but by 1969 he decided to work outside the band structure, focusing on his solo career, and effectively disbanding the Mothers in 1971.
The beginnings of his solo career in the late sixties and early seventies was characterised by a strong free jazz influence, with albums containing little, if any, lyrical content, such as Hot Rats, Waka/Jawaka and The Grand Wazoo. Towards the mid-seventies his albums became more rock-orientated, with a combination of Jazz Fusion instrumentation and Rock song structures. This more accessible sound bore reasonable mainstream appeal, especially with the release of the well-advertised albums Over-Nite Sensation and Apostrophe (') (which both went Gold), but Zappa's unpredictably eclectic output never led to solid mainstream recognition. He received uniformly lukewarm reviews from popular music publications such as Rolling Stone throughout his career. In his late seventies' output, the gulf between his humorous songs and more lengthy, complex instrumental music widened, and albums, such as Zappa in New York, Joe's Garage: Acts I, II & III, and Sleep Dirt displayed, by track, both sides firmly segregated.
Zappa saw a second run of success in the early eighties with the release of many albums with predominantly comedic rock songs, but later continued to experiment with virtually every style of music through the eighties, and was productive as ever until his death. His output in this later-career period included two albums of strikingly original classical music with the London Symphony Orchestra, an electronic take on 18th-century chamber music (written by the obscure Italian composer 'Francesco Zappa', no relation), an album of Synclavier compositions (misleadingly titled Jazz From Hell which garnered a Grammy award), a double-CD release of electric guitar instrumental music (the laconically titled Guitar) and a plenitude of official live releases, revisiting fan-favourites as well as showcasing Zappa's talent for reinventing the music of others; his version of Stairway to Heaven becoming a word-of-mouth favourite.
Zappa produced almost all of his own albums, spending many hours in the studio recording and manipulating tracks, and was always at the forefront of emerging technologies; from tape editing, collage, multitrack and overdubbing in the sixties to digital recording, electronic instruments and sampling in the eighties. Conversely, Zappa was also a obsessive self-archivist, recording virtually every one of his live performances, and often using live recordings of new material without needing to enter the studio. The archive of tapes at his family home in Los Angeles continues to be a source of posthumous releases for the Zappa Family Trust. He was also noted as a spotter of talent and his shifting line-up of musicians included Lowell George, Jean-Luc Ponty, Terry Bozzio, Chad Wackerman, George Duke, Mike Keneally, Adrian Belew and Steve Vai, as well as giving Alice Cooper his first break in music and working again with his old collaborator Captain Beefheart when his career was in decline.
In the late 1980s he became active in politics, campaigning against the PMRC's music censorship scheme and acting as culture and trade representative for Czechoslovakia in 1989; and considered running as an independent candidate for president of the US.
His death in Los Angeles, California, on 4th December 1993 came three years after he was diagnosed with prostate cancer.
Billy The Mountain
Frank Zappa Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Billy the mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and Gorman
With his stunning wife Ethell,
A tree!
Billy was a mountain
Ethell was a tree
Growing off of his shoulder
Billy was a mountain
Ethell was a tree
Growing off of his shoulder
Billy had two big
Caves for eyes,
With a cliff for a jaw
That would go up 'n down,
And whenever it did,
He'd puff out some dust,
And hack up a boulder
(hack!)
Hack up a boulder
(hack! hack!)
Hack up a boulder
(hack! hack! hack!)
Hack up a boulder
Now, one day, a man in a checkered suit drove up in a big
Lincoln continental, and he laid a huge,
Bulging envelope right at the corner of billy the mountain,
Right where his 'foot' was supposed to be.
Now, billy the mountain, he couldn't believe it!
All those postcards he'd posed for, for over these years,
And finally, now, at last, his royalties!
Royalties! [repeat: x5]
Billy the mountain was rich! his eyeball-caves widened in amazement,
His cliff (which was his jaw), it dropped thirty feet!
Ooh, a bunch of dust puffed out! rocks and boulders hacked up,
(hack! hack! hack! hack hack! hack! hack!) crushing 'the lincoln'!
Now, the man in the checkered suit, well,
Without his car he went screaming off into the desert at sunset
All the way to rosamond to get a beer and tell everybody there
Including ronnie cook what had happened to his car.
I gave him the money
He acted real funny
He hocked up a rock and
It totalled my car!
Oh, do you
Know any trucks
Might be bound for the valley?
I don't want to stand here
All night in this bar
(dear lord)
I don't want to stand here
All night in this bar
(no shit!)
I don't want to stand here
All night in this bar!
By two o'clock, and the bars are already closed down,
Billy had already broken 'the big news' to ethell.
With dust and boulders everywhere, billy, choked with excitement, announced
"ethell, we're going on a vacation!"
Yes, and they were going on a vacation!
(oh, and ethell, ethell, ethell, ethell just like a woman,
Of course she was delighted! she creaked a little bit,
And some old birds flew off of her
Hey, mr. tambourine man, play a song)
Billy told ethell they were going to
They were going to new york!
"ethell, we're going to
New york!"
But first they were gonna stop in las vegas
It's off to las vegas
To check out the lounges
Pull a few handles,
Drink a few beers,
(oh, ethell!)
Ethell, my darling,
You know that I love you!
I'm glad we could have a
Vacation this year!
(oh, neet-o!)
Glad we could have a
Vacation this year!
They left that night, crunchin' across the mojave desert
Their voices echoing through the canyons of your minds
"ethell, want to get a cuppa cawfee?"
(howard johnson's! howard johnson's!
Howard johnson's! howard johnson's!)
"there's a howard johnsons! want to eat some clams?"
The first note worhty piece of real estate they destroyed was edwards air force base
And to this very day, 'wing nuts' and data reduction clerks alike,
Speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when
Test stand number one and the rocket sled itself got lunched!
By a famous mountain-in and his small, wooden wife.
Good bye to las vegas
Farewell to the lounges
We pulled a few handles
We drank a few beers
Guess that george putnam
Should be on the air now
With the biggest new story
That has broken this year
(george putnam!)
His biggest new story
That has broken this year
(take it away, george!)
"word just in to the kttv news service undeniably links
This mountain and his wife to drug abuse
And pay-offs as part of a san joaquin valley smut ring!
However, we can assure parents in the southern california area
That a recent narcotics crack-down,
In torrance, hawthorne, and lomita,
Will provide the secret evidence
The palmdale grand jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment,
And pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid,
And avert a crippling strike of bartenders and veterinarians throughout the inland empire.
But it is this reporter's opinion that ethell is a former communist"
Within the week, jerry lewis had hosted a telethon ("wah wah wah, nice lady!") to raise funds for the injured (injured) and homeless (homeless) in denver,
As billy had just levelled it, and, a few miles right outside of town,
Billy caused a 'oh mein papa' in the earth's crust,
Right over the secret underground dumps where they keep the pools of old poison gas,
And obsolete germ bombs, just as a freak tornado cruised through
(my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby) [repeat: x3]
Sucking up two thirds of it (suck! suck! suck!)
For untimely dispersal over vast stretches of the mid west!
Now, it was about this time, I think it was right outside of columbus, ohio that billy got his notice to report for his induction physical.
Now, believe me, ethell said she wasn't gonna let him go!
"I'm not gonna let you go, billy!"
And george putnam, the right-wing creepo fascist pig newscaster from los angeles said
(take it away george putnam,
The right-wing fascist radical creepo pig newscaster from los angeles!)
"we now have confirmed reports from an informed orange county minister,
That ethell is still an active communist,
And it's this reporter's opinion that she also practices witch-craft!"
It was about this time that the telephone rang in the secret briefcase
Belonging to the one mortal man
Who might be able to stop all of this senseless destruction and save 'america herself'!
Now, some men say he looked like (he looked like)
Felix pappalardi (felix pappalardi); still others say (others say),
Bullshit, man (bullshit, man) he was just born (he was born)
Next to the frozen beef pies at gristede's (frozen beef pies).
Still others say (others say he was just another)
Again, he was just a crazy italian (crazy italian) who drove a red car.
You see it was hard to tell (but nobody knows),
Nobody knew for sure (for sure),
He was so (so) mysterious (mysterious),
Oh yes, he was
He was so
(he was so, he was so!)
Mysterious!
He was so
Mysterious!
'cause when a person gets to be
Such a hero, folks,
And marvelous beyond compute,
You can never really tell
About a guy like that
(whether he's really a nice person
Or if he just smiles a lot),
(what?)
Or if he has a son named 'pinocchio',
Or what?
Whether he's really a nice person or if he has a son named 'pinocchio' or what?
Some men say he could fly
Some men say he could swim
Others say he could sing (like neil sedaka),
And all the girls in flushing
Would be amazed of him
(two, three!)
Amazed of him!
Time passing (right!)
January, February
1975, 1986
March, 1914
So when the phone rang (thank you)
In the secret briefcase,
(thank you)
A strong masculine hand
With a wristwatch
And flexy bracelet
Grabbed it
And answered
In a deep, calmly assured voice:
"yes, this is he! what? a mountain with a tree growing off of its shoulder?
You're fulla shit, man, what? what, uh, are, are you sure?
Oh well, alright, let me write this down then, sorta take a few notes here, to new york?
Causing untold destruction?"
(my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, oh!
My baby, my baby, my baby, my baby,
My baby, my baby,
My baby, my baby, my baby,
My baby, my baby)
(my baby, my baby, my baby)
"wanted for draft evasion?
Can I, can I fly there immediately and reason with him?
An expense account? and per diem, too?"
Some men say he could dance!
Yes, he could dance.
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen,
The studebaker hoch dancing lesson & cosmic prayer for guidance featuring aynsley dunbar
Twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, hey!
Right hand from the heart-uh
(professional)
Left hand from the heart-uh
(exquisite)
Right hand from the heart-uh
(homunculus)
Left hand from the left shoulder
To the heart-uh
Twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, hey!
There were a number of rumors circulating about studebaker hoch recently.
Consider if you will the rumors that have spread that he could write
The lord's prayer on the head of a pin!
Some men say he could write the lord's prayer
On the head of a
Head of a
Head of a pin
(three dog night)
(yeah)
Other still maintain the fact! (good god!)
He was born next to the frozen beef pies
(and that was the main influence on him!)
Boldly springing into action, he phoned his wife (who ran a modeling school),
Whereupon she he ran around the back of 'gimbel's'
To see if he could find some big un-used cardboard boxes
After which, he hit up gristede's for some 'kaiser broiler foil',
Some 'aunt jemima syrup', and a pair of blunt scissors! hey-hey!
Yes, and in the parking lot across the street from the
One fifth avenue hotel (in between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking),
He cut out a pair of really, really nice wings, and he covered 'em thoroughly with foil . . . thoroughly with foil thoroughly with foil . . . thoroughly with foil . . . thorougly with foil . . .
Thoroughly with foil
Thoroughly with with foil!
Then he took those 'wings'
And wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth
He closed the door! and he pulled down his gray denim bus driver type pants,
And he spread even amounts of aunt jemima syrup all over the inside of his legs,
Right underneath his boxer pretty shorts, ha ha ha!
Soon the booth was filling with flies!
(help me, help me, help me!)
He held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in
Yes! and when each and every one of those little,
Each and every one of those little cocksuckin' flies had gone into his boxer shorts,
And was lapping up all that good aunt jemima syrup,
He bent over and he put his head between his legs
And he said to those little flies in a clear, impressive voice
"new york!"
And the booth and everything lifted up, out of the parking lot, and into the sky!
Studebaker
Yeah, yeah
Studebaker
Studebaker
Studebaker
Yeah, yeah
Studebaker
Studebaker
He's coating his legs
With aunt jemima syrup up and down!
His shorts'll be filled with flies
That will be buzzing all around!
(help me, help me, help me!)
Stoodlabaker hoch,
He's really outa sight!
Stoodlabaker hoch,
He does it every night!
Stoodlabaker hoch,
He treats the flies all right
Stoodla-baker hoch
That's why they never bite, hey!
(please to new york!
Fly to new york!)
He could be a dog
Or a frog
Or a lesbian queen!
(fly to new york!)
He could be a nark
Or a lady marine!
Or he might play dirty!
He's over thirty!
(getting old? say! I don't know!)
His peculiar attire
And the flies he require
Keep leading him on
Cause ethell is gone
And the mountain she's on
(please to new york!
Fly to new york!)
(fly to new york!)
(i don't know!)
His peculiar attire
And the flies he require
Keep leading him on
'cause ethell is gone
They keep leading him on
'cause ethell is gone
And the mountain she's on
We join studebaker hoch standing on the edge of billy the mountain's mouth.
"billy? I've come to reason with you!
Our great country needs you in the armed forces!
Why, it's all fair and square, the lottery, you know? your number came up
You can't go on running like this forever."
Ethell shook her twigs angrily, but studebaker hoch, un-ferturbed, continued
"listen, you (cough cough) listen, you communist son-of-a-bitch!
You better get your ass down there for your fuckin' physical,
Or I'll see to it that you get used for fill dirt
In some impending new jersey marsh reclamation
And your girl-friend here will wind up disguised as a series of brooms,
Primitive ironing boards (or a dog house)
Get the (cough, cough), get the picture?"
Billy just laughed,
"ho, ho, ho! if they think they're gonna draft me, they're crazy!"
Now you'd remember that studebaker hoch was standing on the edge of billy's mouth,
So that when he laughed, he lost his balance and unfortunately fell,
Screaming, two hundred feet into the rubble below!
(that was only one hundred feet, you carnaby cutie,
Let's hear another set!)
Which only goes to prove
A mountain is something
You don't want to fuck with
You don't want to fuck with
Don't fuck around
(don't fuck around)
Don't fuck with billy
And don't fuck with ethell
(you saw what just happened
To the guy with the flies!)
Don't fuck around! [repeat: x7]
With
Biddilly, biddilly
Biddilly, biddilly, biddilly
Biddilly
The
Mountin!
Biddilly
The
Mountin!
Thank you for coming to our concert. good night.
The song "Billy The Mountain" by Frank Zappa tells the story of a mountain named Billy, who has a tree growing off his shoulder that serves as his wife, Ethell. Billy is depicted as a peculiar character with two big caves for eyes, a cliff for a jaw, and the ability to puff out dust and hack up boulders when his jaw moves. One day, a man in a checkered suit arrives with royalties for all the postcards featuring Billy that have been sold over the years. Billy is overjoyed and as a result, his jaw drops, causing rocks and boulders to fly out and crush the man's car. After this, Billy and Ethell decide to go on a vacation to New York via Las Vegas, where they pull some handles, drink beer, and cause destruction at every stop.
The song has a satirical tone, making fun of various aspects of American culture, including greed, commercialism, drug abuse, and politics. The lyrics are full of absurd imagery, such as the scene where Studebaker Hoch coats his legs with Aunt Jemima syrup and uses it to attract flies so that he can fly to New York.
Overall, "Billy The Mountain" is a wild and hilarious story that highlights Frank Zappa's skill as a storyteller and satirist.
Line by Line Meaning
Billy the mountain
Billy is personified as a mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Billy is a typical and beautiful mountain that could be seen on postcards
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and Gorman
Billy is located between the lovely towns of Rosamond and Gorman
With his stunning wife Ethell,
A tree!
A tree!
Billy's wife, Ethell, is personified as a tree growing off his shoulder
Billy had two big
Caves for eyes,
With a cliff for a jaw
That would go up 'n down
Billy's eyes are represented as caves, and his jaw is compared to a cliff, symbolizing his mouth opening and closing
And whenever it did,
He'd puff out some dust,
And hack up a boulder
When Billy's jaw moved, he would release dust and cough up boulders
Now, one day, a man in a checkered suit drove up in a big
Lincoln continental, and he laid a huge,
Bulging envelope right at the corner of billy the mountain,
Right where his 'foot' was supposed to be
A man in a checkered suit arrives and places an envelope where Billy's 'foot' would be, suggesting the arrival of a significant event
Now, billy the mountain, he couldn't believe it!
All those postcards he'd posed for, for over these years,
And finally, now, at last, his royalties!
Billy is ecstatic to receive royalties for the postcards he posed for over the years
Billy the mountain was rich! his eyeball-caves widened in amazement,
His cliff (which was his jaw), it dropped thirty feet!
Ooh, a bunch of dust puffed out! rocks and boulders hacked up,
(hack! hack! hack! hack hack! hack! hack!) crushing 'the lincoln'!
Billy becomes rich and his jaw drops in shock, releasing dust and boulders that crush the man's Lincoln car
Now, the man in the checkered suit, well,
Without his car he went screaming off into the desert at sunset
All the way to rosamond to get a beer and tell everybody there
Including ronnie cook what had happened to his car
The man in the checkered suit runs off into the desert to Rosamond to share the news about his car
I gave him the money
He acted real funny
He hocked up a rock and
It totalled my car!
The man deceived Billy and damaged his car in return
By two o'clock, and the bars are already closed down,
Billy had already broken 'the big news' to ethell.
With dust and boulders everywhere, billy, choked with excitement, announced
"ethell, we're going on a vacation!"
Billy informs Ethell about their upcoming vacation while being overwhelmed by the chaos caused by the dust and boulders
Yes, and they were going on a vacation!
(oh, and ethell, ethell, ethell, ethell just like a woman,
Of course she was delighted! she creaked a little bit,
And some old birds flew off of her
Hey, mr. tambourine man, play a song)
Ethell is delighted to hear about the vacation, and her joy is compared to birds flying off her
Billy told ethell they were going to
They were going to new york!
"ethell, we're going to
New york!"
But first they were gonna stop in las vegas
Billy informs Ethell they are going to New York but will stop in Las Vegas first
Ethell, my darling,
You know that I love you!
I'm glad we could have a
Vacation this year!
Billy expresses his love for Ethell and their joy of having a vacation together
They left that night, crunchin' across the mojave desert
Their voices echoing through the canyons of your minds
"ethell, want to get a cuppa cawfee?"
(howard johnson's! howard johnson's!
Howard johnson's! howard johnson's!)
Billy and Ethell set off on their journey across the Mojave desert, discussing getting coffee at Howard Johnson's
"there's a howard johnsons! want to eat some clams?"
The first note worthy piece of real estate they destroyed was edwards air force base
Billy and Ethell spot a Howard Johnson's and consider having clams before causing havoc at Edwards Air Force Base
And to this very day, 'wing nuts' and data reduction clerks alike,
Speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when
Test stand number one and the rocket sled itself got lunched!
By a famous mountain-in and his small, wooden wife.
The destruction caused by Billy and Ethell at Edward Air Force Base is remembered and spoken about in hushed tones
Good bye to las vegas
Farewell to the lounges
We pulled a few handles
We drank a few beers
Billy and Ethell leave Las Vegas, saying goodbye to the lounges and having enjoyed gambling and drinking there
Guess that george putnam
Should be on the air now
With the biggest new story
That has broken this year
(george putnam!)
The song references George Putnam, a news anchor, suggesting that the destruction caused by Billy and Ethell will be a major news story
"word just in to the kttv news service undeniably links
This mountain and his wife to drug abuse
And pay-offs as part of a san joaquin valley smut ring!
However, we can assure parents in the southern california area
That a recent narcotics crack-down,
In torrance, hawthorne, and lomita,
Will provide the secret evidence
The palmdale grand jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment,
And pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid,
And avert a crippling strike of bartenders and veterinarians throughout the inland empire.
But it is this reporter's opinion that ethell is a former communist"
The song mentions a news report linking Billy and Ethell to drug abuse and criminal activities. The reporter also expresses opinions about Ethell's political affiliations
Within the week, jerry lewis had hosted a telethon ("wah wah wah, nice lady!") to raise funds for the injured (injured) and homeless (homeless) in denver,
As billy had just leveled it, and, a few miles right outside of town,
Billy caused a 'oh mein papa' in the earth's crust,
Right over the secret underground dumps where they keep the pools of old poison gas,
And obsolete germ bombs, just as a freak tornado cruised through
(my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby) [repeat: x3]
Sucking up two thirds of it (suck! suck! suck!)
For untimely dispersal over vast stretches of the mid west!
Billy's destruction causes a telethon to raise funds for the injured and homeless. He also causes an earthquake over the secret underground dumps of dangerous materials
Now, it was about this time, I think it was right outside of columbus, ohio that billy got his notice to report for his induction physical.
Now, believe me, ethell said she wasn't gonna let him go!
"I'm not gonna let you go, billy!"
Billy receives a notice for his induction physical, but Ethell is determined to prevent him from going
"I'm not gonna let you go, billy!"
And george putnam, the right-wing creepo fascist pig newscaster from los angeles said
(take it away george putnam,
The right-wing fascist radical creepo pig newscaster from los angeles!)
"we now have confirmed reports from an informed orange county minister,
That ethell is still an active communist,
And it's this reporter's opinion that she also practices witch-craft!"
George Putnam, a news anchor, spreads rumors about Ethell being a communist and practicing witchcraft
It was about this time that the telephone rang in the secret briefcase
Belonging to the one mortal man
Who might be able to stop all of this senseless destruction and save 'america herself'!
The song introduces a telephone call to a man who may be able to stop the destruction caused by Billy and Ethell
Now, some men say he looked like (he looked like)
Felix pappalardi (felix pappalardi); still others say (others say),
Bullshit, man (bullshit, man) he was just born (he was born)
Next to the frozen beef pies at gristede's (frozen beef pies).
Still others say (others say he was just another)
Different opinions arise about the man who could stop the destruction caused by Billy and Ethell
Again, he was just a crazy italian (crazy italian) who drove a red car.
You see it was hard to tell (but nobody knows),
Nobody knew for sure (for sure),
He was so (so) mysterious (mysterious),
Oh yes, he was
He was so
(he was so, he was so!)
Mysterious!
The man who could stop the destruction is described as a mysterious Italian who drove a red car
'cause when a person gets to be
Such a hero, folks,
And marvelous beyond compute,
You can never really tell
About a guy like that
(whether he's really a nice person
Or if he just smiles a lot),
(what?)
Or if he has a son named 'pinocchio',
Or what?
The song suggests that it's hard to truly know a person's nature and intentions, even if they appear heroic or happy
Some men say he could fly
Some men say he could swim
Others say he could sing (like neil sedaka),
And all the girls in flushing
Would be amazed of him
(two, three!)
Amazed of him!
Different rumors circulate about the man's abilities, including flying, swimming, and singing
Time passing (right!)
January, February
1975, 1986
March, 1914
The song mentions different periods of time to emphasize the passing years
So when the phone rang (thank you)
In the secret briefcase,
(thank you)
A strong masculine hand
With a wristwatch
And flexy bracelet
Grabbed it
And answered
In a deep, calmly assured voice:
The man, who could potentially stop the destruction, answers the phone calmly and confidently
"yes, this is he! what? a mountain with a tree growing off of its shoulder?
You're fulla shit, man, what? what, uh, are, are you sure?
Oh well, alright, let me write this down then, sorta take a few notes here, to new york?
Causing untold destruction?"
The man expresses disbelief and learns about the destruction caused by Billy and Ethell, making plans to address the situation
(my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, oh!
My baby, my baby, my baby, my baby,
My baby, my baby,
My baby, my baby, my baby,
My baby, my baby)
The song interjects with the phrase 'my baby' repeatedly
"wanted for draft evasion?
Can I, can I fly there immediately and reason with him?
An expense account? and per diem, too?"
The man discusses the situation and offers to fly to the location with expenses covered
Some men say he could dance!
Yes, he could dance.
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen,
The studebaker hoch dancing lesson & cosmic prayer for guidance featuring aynsley dunbar
The man is rumored to be a talented dancer, and the song mentions a dancing lesson and cosmic prayer featuring Aynsley Dunbar
There were a number of rumors circulating about studebaker hoch recently.
Consider if you will the rumors that have spread that he could write
The lord's prayer on the head of a pin!
More rumors circulate about Studebaker Hoch's abilities, such as the ability to write the Lord's Prayer on the head of a pin
Some men say he could write the lord's prayer
On the head of a
Head of a
Head of a pin
(three dog night)
(yeah)
Continuing the rumors, some claim Studebaker Hoch can write the Lord's Prayer on the head of a pin
Other still maintain the fact! (good god!)
He was born next to the frozen beef pies
(and that was the main influence on him!)
Others insist that Studebaker Hoch was influenced by being born near frozen beef pies
Boldly springing into action, he phoned his wife (who ran a modeling school),
Whereupon she he ran around the back of 'gimbel's'
To see if he could find some big un-used cardboard boxes
Studebaker Hoch contacts his wife who runs a modeling school, and they search for cardboard boxes behind a store
After which, he hit up gristede's for some 'kaiser broiler foil',
Some 'aunt jemima syrup', and a pair of blunt scissors! hey-hey!
Studebaker Hoch buys foil, syrup, and scissors from Gristede's
Yes, and in the parking lot across the street from the
One fifth avenue hotel (in between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking),
He cut out a pair of really, really nice wings, and he covered 'em thoroughly with foil . . . thoroughly with foil . . . thorougly with foil . . .
Thoroughly with foil
Thoroughly with with foil!
Studebaker Hoch cuts out wings, covers them with foil, and assembles them in the parking lot between the trucks
Then he took those 'wings'
And wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth
He closed the door! and he pulled down his gray denim bus driver type pants,
And he spread even amounts of aunt jemima syrup all over the inside of his legs,
Right underneath his boxer pretty shorts, ha ha ha!
Studebaker Hoch puts on the wings, goes into a telephone booth, and applies Aunt Jemima syrup to his legs
Soon the booth was filling with flies!
(help me, help me, help me!)
He held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in
Yes! and when each and every one of those little,
Each and every one of those little cocksuckin' flies had gone into his boxer shorts,
And was lapping up all that good aunt jemima syrup,
He bent over and he put his head between his legs
And he said to those little flies in a clear, impressive voice
"new york!"
And the booth and everything lifted up, out of the parking lot, and into the sky!
Studebaker Hoch attracts flies to the booth with syrup, traps them in his shorts, and then tells them to fly to New York. The booth then flies into the sky
Studebaker
Yeah, yeah
Studebaker
Studebaker
Studebaker Hoch's name is repeated in a chant-like manner
He's coating his legs
With aunt jemima syrup up and down!
Studebaker Hoch applies Aunt Jemima syrup to his legs
His shorts'll be filled with flies
That will be buzzing all around!
(help me, help me, help me!)
Flies fill Studebaker Hoch's shorts and buzz around
Stoodlabaker hoch,
He's really outa sight!
Stoodlabaker hoch,
He does it every night!
Stoodlabaker hoch,
He treats the flies all right
Stoodla-baker hoch
That's why they never bite, hey!
Studebaker Hoch is praised for his unconventional actions and ability to attract flies without being bitten
(please to new york!
Fly to new york!)
The song requests the flies to fly to New York
(fly to new york!)
(i don't know!)
Confusion about whether the flies should fly to New York
His peculiar attire
And the flies he require
Keep leading him on
Cause ethell is gone
And the mountain she's on
Studebaker Hoch's unusual appearance and his fly-attracting action are connected to Ethell being gone and Billy the mountain's situation
(please to new york!
Fly to new york!)
The song again requests the flies to fly to New York
(fly to new york!)
(i don't know!)
Uncertainty about whether the flies should fly to New York or not
His peculiar attire
And the flies he require
Keep leading him on
'cause ethell is gone
Studebaker Hoch's appearance and the flies he attracts play a role in Ethell being gone
They keep leading him on
'cause ethell is gone
And the mountain she's on
Studebaker Hoch's actions are connected to Ethell being gone and Billy the mountain's situation
We join studebaker hoch standing on the edge of billy the mountain's mouth.
"billy? I've come to reason with you!
Our great country needs you in the armed forces!
Why, it's all fair and square, the lottery, you know? your number came up
You can't go on running like this forever."
Studebaker Hoch tries to reason with Billy and convince him to join the armed forces, citing the draft lottery
Ethell shook her twigs angrily, but studebaker hoch, un-ferturbed, continued
"listen, you (cough cough) listen, you communist son-of-a-bitch!
You better get your ass down there for your fuckin' physical,
Or I'll see to it that you get used for fill dirt
In some impending new jersey marsh reclamation
And your girl-friend here will wind up disguised as a series of brooms,
Primitive ironing boards (or a dog house)
Get the (cough, cough), get the picture?"
Studebaker Hoch confronts Ethell and threatens Billy, making derogatory remarks and insinuating harm if Billy doesn't comply
Billy just laughed,
"ho, ho, ho! if they think they're gonna draft me, they're crazy!"
Billy laughs off the idea of being drafted
Now you'd remember that studebaker hoch was standing on the edge of billy's mouth,
So that when he laughed, he lost his balance and unfortunately fell,
Screaming, two hundred feet into the rubble below!
Studebaker Hoch loses his balance and falls into the rubble below while standing on the edge of Billy's mouth
(that was only one hundred feet, you carnaby cutie,
Let's hear another set!)
A playful remark is made about the height of the fall, suggesting it was shorter than initially described
Which only goes to prove
A mountain is something
You don't want to fuck with
You don't want to fuck with
Don't fuck around
(don't fuck around)
The song emphasizes that a mountain shouldn't be underestimated or messed with
Don't fuck with billy
And don't fuck with ethell
(you saw what just happened
To the guy with the flies!)
The song warns against messing with Billy and Ethell, using the example of what happened to Studebaker Hoch
Don't fuck around! [repeat: x7]
Repetition of the warning to not mess around
With
Biddilly, biddilly
Biddilly, biddilly, biddilly
Biddilly
The
Mountin!
Biddilly
The
Mountin!
The song ends with a repetition of the word 'Biddilly' and refers to the mountain
Thank you for coming to our concert. good night.
Closing statement of gratitude to the audience
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Frank Vincent Zappa
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Shogun Cool FH
Billy the mountain
Billy the mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and gorman
With his stunning wife ethel
A tree, a tree.
Billy was a mountain
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
Billy was a mountain
Billy was a mountain
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
( hey, hey, hey! )
Billy had two big
Caves for eyes
With a cliff for a jaw
That would go up or down
And whenever it did
He'd puff out some dust
And hack up a boulder, hack.
Hack up a boulder, hack, hack.
Hack up a boulder, hack, hack.
Hack up a boulder.
Now, one day, and i believe it was on tuesday, a man in checkered double-knit suit drove up in large el dorado cadillac leased from bob spreene ( "where the freeways meet in downey!" ) and he laid a huge bulging envelope right at the corner of billy the mountain, that was right where his foot was supposed to be. now billy the mountain, he couldn't believe it: all those postcards he'd posed for, for all of those years, and finally, now at last, his royalties! "royalties, royalties, royalties! the royalty check is in, honey!" ... yes, billy the mountain was rich! yes, and his eyeball caves, they widened in amazement... and his jaw, which was a cliff, well it ... it dropped thirty feet! a bunch of dust puffed out ... rocks and boulders hacked up, hack! hack! ... crushing the lincoln ...
I gave him the money
He acted real funny
He hacked up a rock and
It totaled my car
Oh do you
Know any trucks
Might be bound for the valley
I don't wanna stand here
All night in this bar
( dear lord )
I don't wanna stand here
All night in this bar
( no shit )
I don't wanna stand here
All night in this bar
By two o'clock, when bars had already closed down, billy had broken the big news to ethel, ahhhh, and with dust and boulders everywhere, billy, choked with exitement, announced: "ethel, we're going on a vacation!"... yes, and they were going on a vacation, oh, and ethel, ethel, ethel, like any little woman, she of course was very excited ... she creaked a little bit, and some old birds flew off of her. billy told ethel they were going to... yes, they where going to new york! "ethel, we're going to... new york! but first they were gonna stop in las vegas...
"it's off to las vegas to check out the lounges,
Pull a few handles and drink a few beers, oh ethel,
Ethel, my darling, you know that i love you,
I'm glad we could have a vacation this year,
Oh neat-o, glad we could have a vacation this year."
They left that night, crunchin' across the mojave desert, their voices echoing thru the canyons of your minds... "ethel, wanna get a cuppa cawfee? howard johnson's, ahhh there's a howard johnson's! ... wanna eat some clams? ...
The first noteworhty piece of real estate they destroyed was edwards air force base. and to this very day, wing-nuts and data reduction clerks alike speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when test stand number one and the rocket sled itself got lunched, i said lunched, by a famous mountain and his small wooden wife ...
"word just in to the kttv news service undeniably links this mountain and his wife to drug abuse and payoffs as part of san joaquin valley smut ring. however, we can assure parents in the southern california area that a recent narcotic crackdown in torrence ... hawthorne ... lomita ... westchester ... playa del rey ... santa monica ... tujunga ... sunland ... san fernando ... pacoima ... sylmar ... newhall ... canoga park ... palmdale ... glendale ... irwindale ... rolling hills ... granada hills ... shadow hills ... cheviot hills ... will provide the secret evidence the palmdale grand jury has needed to seek a criminal indictement and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of bartenders and veterinarians throughout the inland empire ..."
Within the week, jerry lewis had hosted a telethon ( la la la nice lady ) to raise funds for the injured, "injured", and homeless, "homeless" in glendale, as billy had just levelled it. and a few miles right outside of town billy caused a 'oh mine/my(?) papa' in the earth's crust, right over the secret underground dumps, right near the jack in the box on glenoaks where they keep the pools of old poison gas and obsolete germs bombs, just as a freak tornado cruised through ... yes, it was about three o'clock in the afternoon when little howard kaplan was sitting on his porch ( "toto...!") just playing ( "come here, toto ...!") and having a nice time with his little accordion, ("toto...!") and this weird wind came up, direct from glendale, blowing those terrible germs in his direction ... and all this caused by huge mountain ("aunty em") somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly, sucking up two-thirds of it ( suck, suck, suck) for an ultimetly dispersal over vast stretches of ... watts!!!
Now, unless i misunderstood, it was right outside of columbus, ohio when billy received his notice to report for his induction physical. now lemme tell ya, ethel said, now ethel, ethel said she wasn't gonna let him go ... "i'm not gonna let you go, billy" ... that's right, we now have confirmed reports from an informed orange county minister that ethel is still an active communist and it is this reporter's opinion that she also practices covent witch-craft ...
It was about this time that the telephone rang inside of the secret briefcase belonging to one mortal man who might be able to stop all of this senseless destruction and save america herself. and i'm sorry to disappoint some of you, it was not chief redden. this one man was studebacher hoch, fantastic new super hero of the current economic slump. now, some folks say he looked like zubin mehta (zubin mehta); still others say "bullshit, honey, it was just another greasy guy who happened to be born next to the frozen beef pies at boney's market..."; still others say "pshaw/shaun(?), and piss on you, jack, he's just a crazy iatlian who drove a red car ..." you see, nobody ever really knew for sure because studebacher was sooooo mysterious ....
Shogun Cool FH
He was so ( he was so, he was so) mysterious
He was so ( he was so, he was so) mysterious
'cuz when a person gets to be such a hero, folks
And marvelouse beyond compute
You can never really tell about a guy like that
Whether he's really a nice person
Or if he just smiles a lot
Or if he has a son named pinocchio or what.
Whether he's really a nice person
Or if he has a son named pinocchio or what.
Some men say he could fly
Some men say he could swim
Others say he could sing like neil sedaka,
And all the girls in flushing would be amazed of him
Two, three amazed of him ... amazed ...
Time passed. january, february, march, july, wednesdey, august, irwindale, two-thirty in the afternoon, sunday, monday, funny cars, walnuts, city of industry, big john masamanian ... so when the phone ring in the secret briefcase, a strong masculine hand with a dudley do-right wristwatch and flexy braclet grabbed it and answered in a deep, calmly assured voice: "so... ah... yeah, yeah hello already ... what? ... well, yeah? ... ah-are you kidding? ... you're not kidding ... a mountain ... with a tree growing off of its shoulder? aw, you're fulla shit, man... ah listen, by the way, before you go on; did you get those white albums i sent ya with the pencil on the front, yeah? yeah, you should move some of those for me ... we're having a lot of,...listen, so kiss little jakee on the head... and how's your wife's hemorrhoids?...ah, that's too bad...listen...so you've got a mountain, with a tree, listen, causing...well, let me write this down... sorta take a few notes here...yeah? ...to el segundo, huh?...causing
Untold destruction..( my baby, my baby )...wanted for draft evasion?... an expense account? ... and per diem, too?..."
Some men say he could dance
They said he could dance
And of course they were right ...
Ladies and gentelmen, this is it: the studebacher hoch dancing lesson & cosmic prayer for guidence, featuring aynsley dunbar! ... hit it! ...
Twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, fillmore ...
Hey, right hand from a heart
Left hand from a heart
Right hand from a heart
Left hand from a left shoulder
To the heart. fillmore, fillmore ...
Nobody can dance like studebacher hoch ...
So many rumors have spread about studebacher hoch ... consider this rumor which was published about three weeks ago in rolling stone ( oh, it's gotta be true! ) ... studebacher hoch can write the lord's prayer on the head of a pin!" (no!) do-do-do do-do-doot doot do-do-do ... ... i'm so hip ... beef pies ... he was born next to the beef pies, underneath joni mitchell's autographed picture, right beside elliot robert's big bank book, next to the boat where crosby flushed away all his stash and the cops got him in the boat and drove away, to the can where neil young slipped another disc ...
[ frozen ??? pie
Frozen ??? pie
Frozen ??? pie
And that was the main influence on him
The influence of a frozen beef pie ]
Boldly springing into action he phoned his wife who ran a modeling school, whereupon he... yes, he ran around the back of the broadway at hollywood boulevard and vine to see if he could find himself some big, large, unused cardboard boxes ( no shit! )... after which he hit up the ralph's on sunset for some aunt jemima syrup, some kaiser boiler foil and pair of blunt sissors, yeah! ... yes, and in the parking lot of ralph's ... where no prices are lower prices than ralph's... in the parking lot of ralph's, in between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking, he cut out some really, really, really nice wings and he covered them thoroughly with foil ...
Then he took those wings and wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth ..yes,yes!! and then he shut the fucking door! ... and he pulled down his blue denim policeman-type trouser pants, and he spread even amounts of aunt jemima maple syrup all over the inside of his legs! ... soon the booth was filling with flies ( help me! help me! help me! ) ... he held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in, and when each and every one of those little cocksucking flies had gone into his pants and they were lapping up all that maple syrup, he bent over and he put his head between his legs and he said in a very clear, impressive, ron-hubbard-type voice: "new york"... and the booth and everything lifted up, out of parking lot, and into the sky.
Studebacher hoch
Yeah, yeah,
Studebacher hoch
Studebacher hoch
Studebacher hoch
Yeah, yeah,
Studebacher hoch
Studebacher hoch
He's coating his legs
With aunt jemima syrup up and down
His shorts will be filled with flies
That will be buzzing all around
Studebacher hoch is really outa sight
Studebacher hoch, he does it every night
Studebacher hoch, he treats the flies all right
Studebacher hoch
That's why they never bite, hey!
Hey please to new york
Fly to new york
He could be a dog
Or a frog
Or a lesbian queen
(fly to new york)
He could be a narc
Or a lady marine
Or he might play dirty
He's over thirty
Getting old ...
I don't know
His peculiar attire
And the flies he requires
Keep leading him on
'cuz ethel is gone
They keep leading him on
'cuz ethel is gone
And the mountain she's on
And speaking of mountains - - we'll join studebacher hoch on the edge of billy the mountain's mouth .. take it away! ...
"ah ... ya, ya, ya, hey-ah, billy, listen ... i've come to reason with you ... our great country needs you in the armed forces ... your number came up ... ya can't go on running like this forever ..."
Ah, but ethel just shook her twigs angrily. but studebacher hoch, calm, cool, collected and unperturbed, continued:
"ya, well listen ... listen you communist sonofabitch ... you better get your ass down there for your fuckin' physical or i'll see to it that you get used for fill dirt in some impending new jersey marsh reclamation ... and your girlfiend there will wind up disguised as series of brooms, primative ironing boards or a dog house ... get the ( cough, cough) get the picture?"
Ya, well billy just laughed:
"ha, ha, ha. if they think they're gonna draft me, they're crazy."
Unfortunately, because studebacher hoch was standing on the edge of billy the mountain's mouth when the giant mountain laughed ... studebacher hoch lost his footing and fell screaming, two hundred feet into the rubble below ... ( "aaahhhhh, oh fuck, i'm gonna need a truss ...")
Ah listen, that only goes to show you
And it'l show you once again that
A mountain is something you don't wanna fuck with
You don't wanna fuck with
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck with billy, no
And don't fuck with ethel
You saw what just happened
To the guy with the flies
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
With biddilly, biddilly
Biddilly the mountain
Eddie, are you kidding?
Eddie, are you kidding?
Oh i forgot to mention this is where we take our intermission.
We will see you in a few minutes
Thank you, we'll be back.
Lockedout
I listened to this hundreds of times back in the early 70s when I was 15-16. I kinda understand now why the rest of the small town I grew up in thought I was a weirdo. It never entered their tiny minds that it was them who were fucked up.
Eric Hoberg
Weirdly, I came from a small town and that's where we got put on to Zappa, Skynyrd, Budgie, XTC, Rory Gallagher, Roy Buchanan etc.
When I moved to the big smoke they hadn't heard of half the shit I'd been listening to since I was 15-16.
nextlevelstart
come back to the town we miss you
J. Evan Wade
This is quite possibly the strangest, yet most wonderful piece of "music" that Zappa ever composed; more "performance art" than actual song, it feels like a B-movie at a dilapidated drive-in.
Carolyn Wood
They performed this live on stage
Susan Ratz
I just cleared the room of children and grandchildren. They've never seen a HoJo.
Chris Harry
Why do you put music in air quotes?
Mark Dearlove
Yeh😀, like 'Cheepnis' personified
Carlito Falcone
We're only in it for the money is not too shabby ✓. ♦️
Dizz
Masterpiece. Thankyou Frank