Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
Frank Zappa Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

Hey! Do you know what you are?
You're an asshole! An ASSHOLE!

Some of you might not agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes

Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole...

Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
Maybe you think you're too tough to cry
So you went to The Grape,
Just to give it a try

And Dagmar
Without a doubt, the ugliest son of a bitch I ever saw in my life
Was his name...
One Two Three Four!

The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
And yet he was a beautiful lady
Nearly drove you insane

Let's talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRR
And so you kissed a little sailor
Tex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production:
Who had just blew in from Spain

Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf
You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel
The story of a demented bread-boffer
And acted like it was cocaine

Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko
Then on Tuesday night, Caesar's back in town
In a way you can't explain

Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
With Kona.
And so you worked the wall with Michael
Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite

Which gave your back an awful strain
Volcanic Hell
But you came back on Sunday for the gong show
Next Thursday, teen town's finest...

But you forgot what I was sayin'
'Cause you're an asshole, You're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole

Yes, yes
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole

Now you been to The Grape 'n' you been to The Chest
'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole

You say you can't live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you,
But don't fool yourself girl

It's lookin' at you
Don't fool yourself girl
It's winkin' at you
Don't fool yourself girl

It's blinkin' at you
That's why I say
I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute

Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Fist fuck

Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Wrist-watch; Crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it

Ram it up yer poop chute
Pud!

Don't fool yourself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
Don't fool yourself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
(etc., repeats)





Aw, I knew you'd be surprised...

Overall Meaning

Broken Hearts Are for Assholes is a satirical song by Frank Zappa that mocks macho attitudes and shallow sexual conquests of men. The song is directed at all men who think they are tough and invulnerable but have fragile egos and are afraid of getting hurt. The lyrics contain many absurd references to sexual escapades and bizarre characters that the singer encounters, adding to the overall humorous tone of the song. The phrase "broken hearts are for assholes" is repeated throughout the song as a reminder that those who treat others poorly will eventually face the consequences of their actions.


The song many different references to various characters and events that are meant to be humorous. Dagmar, for instance, was a recurring character in Frank Zappa's live shows in the 70s, played by various actresses, who appeared on stage to dance and perform humorous acts. Leather, Caesar, and Ko-Ko are also references to characters in Zappa's live shows. Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf is a reference to the infamous British sex scandal involving Lord Boothby and Ronnie Kray, a notorious London gangster.


The song also contains a highly explicit sexual reference towards the end, with the phrase "ram it up your poop chute," which has raised controversy over the years, with many radio stations and music platforms censoring or banning the song altogether.


Line by Line Meaning

Hey! Do you know what you are?
You are an asshole and I am going to explain why you are one.


You're an asshole! An ASSHOLE!
You are an unkind person whose behaviors are unacceptable.


Some of you might not agree
Some people might not accept that they are assholes.


'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
You probably enjoy seeing people hurt and uncomfortable.


But think a while and you will see...
If you think about it for a while, you will realize that you are an asshole.


Broken hearts are for assholes
People who hurt others' feelings are assholes.


Are you an asshole?
You need to ask yourself if you are an asshole.


Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole...
You need to change your behavior since you are an asshole.


Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
You might be feeling isolated but that does not excuse your actions of hurting others.


Maybe you think you're too tough to cry
You may think people's emotions should not affect you but that makes you an asshole.


So you went to The Grape,
You visited The Grape to seek solace or new experiences.


Just to give it a try
You went there to experiment.


And Dagmar
You met someone named Dagmar.


Without a doubt, the ugliest son of a bitch I ever saw in my life
Dagmar was very unattractive.


Was his name...
His name was Dagmar.


One Two Three Four!
Counting sequence used to introduce a musical interlude.


The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Dagmar had visible facial hair.


Pancake make-up
He wore a lot of makeup to cover his flaws.


And yet he was a beautiful lady
Despite his appearance, Dagmar had attractive features.


Nearly drove you insane
You were attracted to Dagmar's looks despite realizing he was unattractive.


Let's talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRR
Leather is now the topic of discussion.


And so you kissed a little sailor
You kissed a man in uniform.


Tex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production:
Tex Abel was famous since he was the star of the famous Shepperton production.


Who had just blew in from Spain
Tex Abel had just arrived from Spain.


Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf
Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf is being introduced as a new character.


You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel
You smelled Angel's rear end.


The story of a demented bread-boffer
Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf is known for his strange bread-making skills.


And acted like it was cocaine
You behaved like Angel's reeking buns were drugs.


Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
A food item made by Sir Richard is being described.


You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko
You were impressed by the new costume of Ko-Ko.


Then on Tuesday night, Caesar's back in town
Caesar is back in town on Tuesday night.


In a way you can't explain
You feel a certain way about Caesar that you are unable to describe.


Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
Caesar is in a fierce wrestling match.


With Kona.
Caesar's opponent in the wrestling match is Kona.


And so you worked the wall with Michael
You hit the wall with Michael in a certain way.


Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite
Michael is heavily and aggressively built.


Which gave your back an awful strain
The activity with Michael gave you back pain.


Volcanic Hell
The pain you experienced was intense.


But you came back on Sunday for the gong show
Even though you were in pain earlier, you came back on Sunday for a performance.


Next Thursday, teen town's finest...
The next Thursday's event will involve the best teens in town.


But you forgot what I was sayin'
You lost track of what I was saying since you are an asshole.


'Cause you're an asshole, You're an asshole
It is being reiterated that you are an asshole.


That's right
This is the truth.


Yes, yes
This is true and you need to address it.


Now you been to The Grape 'n' you been to The Chest
You visited The Grape and The Chest.


'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole
It is time to acknowledge that you are an asshole.


You say you can't live with what you been through
You claim that you cannot continue living like this.


Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
Women can be assholes too.


You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you,
Women might pretend that they do not have an anus.


But don't fool yourself girl
They need to accept the truth.


It's lookin' at you
The truth is staring at them.


Don't fool yourself girl
They need to stop lying to themselves.


It's winkin' at you
The truth is winking at them.


Don't fool yourself girl
They need to stop lying to themselves.


It's blinkin' at you
The truth is blinking at them.


That's why I say
This is why I insist.


I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
I am going to force the truth on you.


Ram it up yer poop chute
The truth will be put up your anus.


Corn hole
A slang for anus.


Ram it, ram it, ram it
The truth is going to be forced on you.


Fist fuck
The truth is so intense it will feel like a fist is going in your anus.


Ram it, ram it, ram it
The truth is going to be forced on you again.


Ram it up yer poop chute
The truth will be put in your anus again.


Wrist-watch; Crisco
Additional items that could also be put in your anus.


Ram it, ram it, ram it
For emphasis, the same sentence is repeated.


Ram it up yer poop chute
The truth will be put in your anus again.


Pud!
A made-up word that could also be put in your anus.


Don't fool yourself, girl
Women need to face the truth.


It's goin' right up yer poop chute
The truth is going to be put in their anus whether they accept it or not.


(etc., repeats)
The same sentence and meaning is repeated again.


Aw, I knew you'd be surprised...
The singer is being sarcastic, knowing that this song would surprise some people with its crude and obscene lyrics.




Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Frank Vincent Zappa

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

@ChuckSchickx

Saw Zappa in the early 80s at the Fox theater in Atlanta. I was front row, far right... Frank pointed directly at me while singing "You're an asshole, you're an asshole". What an honor!

@V8AmericanMuscleCar

🤣🤣🤣 funny but cool! It realty is an honor.

@beatler11

The exact same thing happened to me in Dallas in Sept. 1977. He pointed right at me!

@hawkercaine

lmao !!!

@inova11901

my 1st rock concert: Cleveland Public Hall. circa 1973. Manfred Mann. Headliner... Frank Zappa

@ChuckSchickx

@@inova11901
What a GREAT first concert!
that must have been!

6 More Replies...

@douglaszeiter5361

Possibly the greatest musical genius of the twentieth century.

@timothydillow3160

"The greatest composer of the 20th century didn't need a wig, with a sense of humor you could really dig, he composed complex and beautiful Melodies played by crazies in a rock band. He played loud rock guitar like no SOB can, while speaking his mind like a real man. His name is Frank Zappa and he was an American." td * 2016 *

@John-jw3ve

Probably

@albertmost1968

Hands down

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