Cosmic Debris
Frank Zappa Lyrics


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The Mystery Man came over
An' he said: "I'm outa-site!"
He said, for a nominal service charge,
I could reach nervonna t'nite
If I was ready, willing 'n able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote His Attention to me
But I said . . .
Look here brother,
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?)
Look here brother,
Don't you waste your time on me

The Mystery Man got nervous
An' he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe
An' he whipped out a shaving kit
Now, I thought it was a razor
An' a can of foamin' goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of Afro-dytee
An' the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said:
"You might not believe this, little fella, but it'll cure your
Asthma too!"
An' I said . . .
Look here brother,
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now what kind of a geroo are you anyway?)
Look here brother,
Don't you waste your time on me
Don't waste yer time . . .

I've got troubles of my own, I said
An' you can't help me out
So take your meditations an' your preparations
An' ram it up yer snout
"BUT I GOT A KRISTL BOL!," he said
An' held it to the light
So I snatched it
All away from him
An' I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I'd look like I was Deep
I said some Mumbo Jumbos then
An' told him he was goin' to sleep
I robbed his rings
An' pocket watch
An' everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around,
I said
"The price of meat has just gone up
An' yer ol' lady has just gone down . . . "
Look here brother,
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?)
Don't you know,
You could make more money as a butcher,
So don't you waste your time on me
(Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me . . . )




Ohm shonty, ohm shonty, ohm shonty-ohm
SSHONTAY

Overall Meaning

Frank Zappa's "Cosmic Debris" is a satirical take on the counterculture movement of the 1960s that sought enlightenment through drugs and esoteric practices. The song opens with a Mystery Man claiming he can bring the singer to Nervanna for a fee. The singer is skeptical and asks the Mystery Man what he's "jivin' with that Cosmik Debris." This phrase implies a suspicion that the Mystery Man is trying to trick the singer with some kind of cosmic mysticism or pseudo-spiritualism in order to extract money from him.


The singer becomes even more suspicious when the Mystery Man pulls out a shaving kit that he claims can cure asthma and do "anything." The singer decides to take advantage of the Mystery Man's gullibility and proceeds to mess with him, telling him his future (predicting a rise in meat prices and a fall in his lady) and ultimately robbing him of his possessions. The song portrays the singer as a cynic who sees the Mystery Man's spiritualism as nonsense and takes advantage of him for his own benefit.


Overall, the song is a critique of the counterculture's fascination with mysticism and their tendency to believe in the power of drugs and unconventional practices. It suggests that many people who claimed to seek enlightenment were actually just trying to make a profit off of their followers.


Line by Line Meaning

The Mystery Man came over
A mysterious man appears


An' he said: 'I'm outa-site!'
The man claims to be amazing


He said, for a nominal service charge, I could reach nervonna t'nite
The man offers a service for a fee


If I was ready, willing 'n able To pay him his regular fee He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs And devote His Attention to me
The man promises to focus on the customer if they pay him


But I said . . . Look here brother, Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris? (Now who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?) Look here brother, Don't you waste your time on me
The customer questions the man's authenticity and declines the offer


The Mystery Man got nervous An' he fidget around a bit He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe An' he whipped out a shaving kit
The man becomes nervous and pulls out a strange object


Now, I thought it was a razor An' a can of foamin' goo But he told me right then when the top popped open There was nothin' his box won't do
The man claims his object can do anything


With the oil of Afro-dytee An' the dust of the Grand Wazoo He said: 'You might not believe this, little fella, but it'll cure your Asthma too!'
The man makes ridiculous claims about the powers of his object


An' I said . . . Look here brother, Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris? (Now what kind of a geroo are you anyway?) Look here brother, Don't you waste your time on me Don't waste yer time . . .
The customer questions the man's authenticity again and tells him to leave


I've got troubles of my own, I said An' you can't help me out So take your meditations an' your preparations An' ram it up yer snout
The customer rejects the man's offer and insults him


"BUT I GOT A KRISTL BOL!", he said An' held it to the light So I snatched it All away from him An' I showed him how to do it right
The man shows the customer another object, but the customer takes it away and mocks him


I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head So I'd look like I was Deep I said some Mumbo Jumbos then An' told him he was goin' to sleep
The customer uses strange tactics to hypnotize the man


I robbed his rings An' pocket watch An' everything else I found I had that sucker hypnotized He couldn't even make a sound
The customer steals from the hypnotized man


I proceeded to tell him his future then As long as he was hanging around, I said 'The price of meat has just gone up An' yer ol' lady has just gone down . . . '
The customer tells the man nonsense about his future


Look here brother, Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris? (Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?) Don't you know, You could make more money as a butcher, So don't you waste your time on me (Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me . . . ) Ohm shonty, ohm shonty, ohm shonty-ohm SSHONTAY
The customer continues to mock the man and tells him to find a better job




Contributed by Kaelyn T. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Comments from YouTube:

@DisIsaStickUp

This music lives inside me like a memory or a muscle reflex.

@jesseregenauer630

I just found this tune today and it blew my mind. I'll be listening to this one a handful more times to geek out on it. The colors and textures of this song is insane.....

@KenMabie

The world needs Zappa more now than ever

@jeffshaw776

He was the Diablo Grande of Snowflake Hell.

@KenMabie

@@jeffshaw776 yo


Diablo Grande would make a great Zappa album title...

@jeffshaw776

@@KenMabie Diablo Grande of Snowflake Hell would be a fantastic album title.

@mattgraff1907

There's always that moment in a silly song when you learn that he's the best guitarist ever

@endthefed5304

Um...no. good, but not great

@terrypussypower

@@endthefed5304. Are you deaf? Or mental? It’s one of the two!

@terrypussypower

@@endthefed5304. Frank Zappa is one of the greatest guitarists that ever walked on this benighted planet!

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