Help I
Frank Zappa Lyrics


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Help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock!
Ahahahahahahaaa
Help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock!
Somebody, please, please!
Help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock...
Wow man, it's a drag being a rock
Help I'm a rock...
I wish I was anything but a rock
Heck, I'd even like to be a policeman
Hey, you know what, you know maybe if I practised, you know
Maybe if I passed my driving test
I could get a gig drivin' that bus and pick some freaks up
In front of Ben Franks, right!

Help I'm a cop, help I'm a cop, help I'm a cop!
(Help I'm a rock...), help I'm a cop, help I'm a cop!
It's a drag being a cop, I think I'd rather be the mayor
Always wondered what I was gonna be when I grew up, you know
Always wondered whether or not, whether or not I could make it,
You know, in society, because,
You know, it's a drag when you're rejected
So I tore the cover off a book of matches and I sent in
And I got this letter back that said, UHU, AHA

It can't happen here
It can't happen here
I'm telling you, my dear
That it can't happen here
Because I been checkin' it out, baby
I checked it out a couple a times, hmmmmmmmm
And I'm telling you
It can't happen here
Oh darling, it's important that you believe me
(Bop bop bop bop)
That it can't happen here

Who could imagine that they would freak out somewhere in Kansas...
Kansas Kansas tototototodo
Kansas Kansas tototototodo
Kansas Kansas
Who could imagine that they would freak out in Minnesota...
Mimimimimimimi Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota
Who could imagine...

Who could imagine
That they would freak out in Washington, D.C.
D.C. D.C. D.C. D.C. D.C.
It can't happen here
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
It can't happen here
It can't happen here
Everybody's safe and it can't happen here
No freaks for us
It can't happen here
Everybody's clean and it can't happen here
No, no, it won't happen here
I'm telling you it can't
It won't happen here
(Bop bop didi bop didi bop bop bop)
Plastic folks, you know
It won't happen here
You're safe, mama
You're safe, baby
You just cook a TV dinner
And you make it
(Bop bop bop)
No no no no
Oh, we're gonna get a TV dinner and cook it up
Go get a TV dinner and cook it up
Cook it up
Oh, and it won't happen here
(No no no no no no no no no no no
Man you guys are really safe
Everything's cool).
Who could imagine
Who could imagine
That they would freak out in the suburbs!

I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool.
And they thought it couldn't happen here
(duh duh duh duh duh)
They knew it couldn't happen here
They were so sure it couldn't happen here
But...

Suzie...
Yes yes yes--I've always felt that
Yes I agree man, it really makes it...yeah...
It's a real THING, man
And it really makes it
(Makes it)

Suzie, you just got to town,
And we've been, we've been very interested
In your development.
Forget it!




Hmmmmmmmmm
(It can't happen here)

Overall Meaning

The song "Help, I'm a Rock" by Frank Zappa is a commentary on societal expectations and the search for identity. The repeated refrain of "Help I'm a rock" represents the feeling of being stuck in an unfulfilling identity, while the wish to be something else, such as a policeman, represents the desire to fit within societal norms. However, even being a policeman is unfulfilling, and the song extends to explore the illusions of safety and control that we build for ourselves. This is evident in the repeated assertion that "it can't happen here" and the mocking of suburbanites who believe they are immune to chaos and disorder.


The song's structure, with its repeated chorus and nonsensical verses, is purposefully disorienting and a representation of chaos. The references to Kansas, Minnesota, and Washington D.C. indicate that chaos and disorder can occur anywhere, regardless of location or societal norms. The song's final lines, "Suzie, you just got to town, /And we've been, we've been very interested/In your development. / Forget it!/Hmmmmmmmmm/ (It can't happen here)", indicate that the cycle of societal expectation, rejection, and search for identity continues to repeat itself.


Line by Line Meaning

Help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock!
Requesting help as being a rock is a drag


Wow man, it's a drag being a rock
Being a rock is boring and uneventful


I wish I was anything but a rock
Dreaming of being anything but a rock


Heck, I'd even like to be a policeman
Preferring to be a policeman over a rock


Help I'm a cop, help I'm a cop, help I'm a cop!
Requesting help as being a cop is also a drag


It's a drag being a cop, I think I'd rather be the mayor
Being a cop is not desirable and would rather aspire to be the mayor


Always wondered what I was gonna be when I grew up, you know
Contemplating what to be in life


So I tore the cover off a book of matches and I sent in And I got this letter back that said, UHU, AHA
Applying for a job and receiving an unhelpful response


It can't happen here
Believing that unusual behavior or events cannot happen here


Who could imagine that they would freak out in Kansas...
Speculating about where unpredictable events may take place


Everybody's safe and it can't happen here
Feeling assured of safety and being protected from unusual behavior and events


Plastic folks, you know You're safe, mama
Feeling safe with a plastic surrounding and a loving motherly figure


No no no no no no no no no no no Man you guys are really safe Everything's cool
Emphasizing the safety and normalcy of the surrounding environment


That they would freak out in the suburbs!
Surprised that unusual behavior and events can occur even in the suburbs


But...Suzie...Yes yes yes--I've always felt that Yes I agree man, it really makes it...yeah...It's a real THING, man And it really makes it (Makes it)
Agreeing that unpredictability is a real issue and is affecting lives


(It can't happen here)
Repeating the mantra that unusual behavior and events cannot happen here




Lyrics ยฉ O/B/O APRA AMCOS

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Comments from YouTube:

@scotta.5681

I used to play this when I wanted people to leave my house. I'd let it play over and over and they would quickly leave. It is wonderful!

@christopherpetersen9956

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

@100GTAGUY

Dang, I would've just stayed and kept on groovin haha

@bittertriumph2045

Why'd you have people with terrible taste over in the first place?

@TubeScrewed

I had a friend who's Dad owned a traveling fair. When it was time to close, there was always these too cool trouble making types hanging around. He'd play this extremely corny music, I have no idea where he got this music, but it was the corniest of the corny. It's hard to be cool with that kind of music playing. They'd leave every time.

@floydLmiller

And if that didn't work I'd pull out Space is the Place by The Sun Ra Archestra.

10 More Replies...

@captpogossian

Before the album was released in UK I read a review by someone who had heard an import copy. The review said something along the lines "this album should be banned as it is liable to induce a psychotic episode in vulnerable people". Terrific advertising - I bought a copy the day it was released.

@BrownSoldier96

Haha Good man.

@williammcintosh6450

It helped through self-induced psychotic episodes immensely.

@juanmanuelferrand

Nice comment sir. Do you know what lyrics are talking about?
Thanx. Greetings from B.A. Argentina.

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